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Olson Twins shocker! (This is damn funny)
from Andy Borowitz, satirist extraordinare.
(background, the Olsen twins are multi-media multi-million dollar stars today with CDs, clothing lines, etc. At our publication, we ran an Olsen twins feature section last year -- basically a bunch of fluffy stories designed to elicit congratulatory ads from companies who want to get the Olsen's favor. It was one of our most heavily advertised special section of the year -- 64 pages. You can't imagine how big they are among the pre-teen/teen girl set.)
andicap
OLSEN TWINS TO PLAY UDAY, QUSAY IN NEW MINISERIES
Lighthearted Look at Saddam's Sons, Disney Says
Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, the famed twins who first burst onto the
entertainment scene in the TV sitcom "Full House," will portray Saddam
Hussein's sons Uday and Qusay in an upcoming miniseries for the Disney
Channel, network officials confirmed today.
While details of the production remained sketchy, a Disney spokesman said
that Mary-Kate would play Uday and Ashley would play Qusay, but left open
the possibility that Mary-Kate might play Qusay and Ashley might play
Uday.
Some in Hollywood questioned the casting of the Olsen twins as Saddam's
murderous sons, citing it as the latest evidence of the scarcity of good
roles for women in Hollywood.
But Disney defended the choice of Mary-Kate and Ashley, arguing that the
miniseries would be a lighthearted look at Saddam's two sons and that the
vehicle would be tailored to the Olsen twins' unique talents.
In the miniseries, entitled "Uday and Qusay: Take Two," the Olsen twins
play matchmaker to their dad, Saddam Hussein (John Ritter), a lonely
bachelor who spends his days wandering his ninety-three Presidential
palaces.
As Uday and Qusay, "the Olsen twins conspire to fix up Saddam with an
attractive member of his cabinet, Mrs. Anthrax," according to production
notes provided by Disney.
In a related story, CIA experts today were busy studying a new exercise
tape believed to have been made by Saddam Hussein and broadcast on
al-Jazeera yesterday.
On the tape, Saddam is introduced as "fitness celebrity Saddam Hussein"
and warns the viewer against using pills or miracle diets, arguing, "Those
things have never worked for me or anyone else."
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