Racetrack sayings - Horse Racing Forum - PaceAdvantage.Com

trying2win · 11-19-2002, 01:42 AM

Over the years, I've read or heard many quotes, anecdotes, musings and one-liners from authors, friends and acquaintances regarding betting on the horses. Some of the sayings I've come across, were to me humorous, philosophical, or the rantings of a frustrated loser. An interesting thing though, some of the sayings appeared to have some truth to them.

Pardon some of the fractured English in the sayings. It was put there on purpose for phonetic reasons. Sorry if I put in the odd unfamiliar word. You can always look up the meaning at www.dictionary.com.. An opportunity to increase your vocabulary.

Anyways, here are some of the sayings I recall:

--"80% of the people who bet on the races, lose over the long run. Another 15% are liars!"

--"Some of the things that were happening to me in that losing streak, bordered on the occult!"

--"You can't beat the races by handicapping. The only way to beat the races is by knowing about a fixed race or using a system."

--"The racetrack is the only place I know of, where a thousand people can go for a ride on one horse."

--"No matter what I do during this losing streak, I lose. I'm cursed I tell ya! I always seem to be one notch out on every bet I make. When I bet to win, they finish second. If I bet the exacta, they finish first and third. If my horse is leading all the way, he gets nipped at the wire. If my horse is coming from behind, he can't quite get there. If I finally win and there's an inquiry, they throw out my horse practically everytime." The only thing that gets me out of a losing streak is a four or five figure mutuel."

--"I was gonna bet the number three horse, but my friend said
how can you bet that dog. So I bet his choice, the 6 to 5 favorite. The number three horse won and paid $53.40 to win. I kicked myself all the way home."

--"You can always tell a crooked track. The win payoffs are usually hot favorites or left-field longshots, with hardly any other kind of win price in between."

--"When I went to the racetrack today, I saw the same old haggard faces!"

--"I'm gonna bet the number five horse in this race, 'cause he owes me money."

--"I made my first two dollar bet at the races many years ago. I've been trying to get that two dollars back ever since."

Anybody else got any other sayings about the racetrack, that they wish to share with us here?

Lefty · 11-19-2002, 02:27 AM

A non-raceplaying friend is fond of quoting me this one: The racetrack is the only place where the windows clean people.

trying2win · 11-19-2002, 03:24 AM

Lefty:

Hee, hee, hee...Yes, I remember that old saying about the windows cleaning the people. I still get a kick out of it after all these years.

Probably some of the readers here, can relate to some of those old racetrack sayings.

smf · 11-19-2002, 04:51 AM

Someone asks how was your day at the track, the sad response is...

"I asked for a hot dog and a coke, and they gave me a coke and a hot dog".

Heard that on Gary West's show a few years back.

kitts · 11-19-2002, 12:23 PM

I'm fond of:
"often wrong but never in doubt."

gillenr · 11-19-2002, 12:44 PM

Dear Lord,
Please let me break out even - I need the money.

Lefty · 11-19-2002, 12:51 PM

Heard this at ELP back in the 50's. Lady comes up to a man and front of me and grabs him and yells for security.
Man says: Sweety, I'm "live" in the Double. If I hit it i'll pay everything I owe you."

Lencal555 · 11-27-2002, 02:42 PM

"You know you have the wrong horse when he comes on to the track and the jockey is holding a flashlight"

"I follow the horses, unfortunately many of the horses I follow...follow other horses"

Lencal555 · 11-27-2002, 02:46 PM

A guy has a heart attack at Belmont after the first race, the EMT personnnel arrive and check him out. One EMT ask's the other, "Is he alive", the other EMT takes a scrap of paper from the victim's hand looks at it and relpies..."Only in the double" !

witchdoctor · 11-27-2002, 07:41 PM

"No one ever bet enough on a winning horse." This was before the recent pick 6 scandal.

Lefty · 11-29-2002, 01:19 PM

Here's one told to me over 30 yrs ago: "I follow the horses but the horses I follow, follow the horses"

Tom · 11-29-2002, 05:11 PM

A guy goes to the track every day and bets $2 on the first race.
He wins and parlays it into the second race. He wins again and so he parlays again. By the ninth race, he has hit every race in the parlay and now has to bet $10,000 on the favorite in the finally. His horse makes a big run and ends up losing in a photo.
On his way out of the track, he runs into a buddy who aske him how he did today.
Same old thing,: he replies. "Lost two bucks!"

Lencal555 · 11-30-2002, 01:54 PM

TOM...I heard your above post 40 years ago, and do you know what ? It is still one of the best horse racing quotes ever. Thanks so much for sharing...Lenny

trying2win · 12-01-2002, 01:56 AM

Just remembered a few more:

---Saw this one in a cartoon on a magazine page:

There were originally 3 photos on a mantle...a horse player, his wife and his mother-in-law. The cartoon shows the horseplayer about to replace the photo of his mother-in-law with a photo of a thoroughbred. The dialogue in the cartoon, shows the wife saying something like: "Why are you taking that picture of my mother away and replacing it with a picture of a horse?"...The horse player replied..."Well, she didn't pay $47.20 to win!".

---You've heard of that expression..."Easy come, easy go". At the track, it's more like "Hard come, easy go.

---I remember asking a bettor how he made out at the track one day. He replied: "If I didn't have bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all!"

Dan Montilion · 12-01-2002, 05:35 AM

Overheard this in the Golden Gate Fields clubhouse...

How ya doin today?

Oh man, I'm the Rodney King of horse racing. Their beating the &*%$ outta me.

Mid 90's a trainer in NoCal had good fortune running maidens that had already won at unrecognized tracks...

Sitting in my box my buddy and I both had a wager on a suspected bush track horse. Said horse goes nuts behing the starting gate. And My friend looks at me with his best dead pan and says "I guess they don't have starting gates in Utah."

Used to put on breakfast seminars with the late Ron Cox. Ron let the crowd know his best gamble of the day. The horse wins and in our box we are congatulating each other, when one of the morning attendees comes running over with an exasperated look on his face and says "what are you guys celebrating?" Ron looks at him and says well this was the best gamble of the day. The attendee looks at his program and slaps his head and says "Damn. I wrote down BB for best bet this morning and when I read it just now I thought it meant Bad Bet"

A novice player walks up to the mutuel window and asks for a single with all in the double. Clerks says that'll be $24. Player says no its not, yesterday it was only $14.

After putting on a teaching seminar at Bay Meadows for the long since defunct Racing Times. A Guy comes up to me wild eyed and yells "I challenge you, I'm the greatest, I can read minds of people and horses." While saying this nonesense has his hands in front of his eyes wiggling his fingures in his best hokus pokus. So I say "read minds? How do you do with women?"