New Californian

[ljb]

Here is a neat email I recieved today. While many may be offended, it does have the facts straight.

Dear Red States,

We're ticked off at the way you've treated California, and we've
decided we're leaving.

We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue
States with us.

In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington,
Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all of the Northeast.

You get Texas, Oklahoma and all of the slave states.

We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and
especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly:

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom and Enron.

We get all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, as well as Stanford, Cal
Tech and MIT. You get Bob Jones University.

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You
get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the Red States
pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Red
States, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single
moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and
anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at
once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals.

We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but
we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will control of 80 percent of the
country's fresh water, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95
percent of America's quality wines, 90 percent of all cheese, 90
percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal,
all living redwoods, sequoias and condors.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88
percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care
costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the
tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, virtually 100 percent of all
televangelists, and that big old fat drugged up hypocrite, Rush
Limbaugh.

We also get Hollywood and Yosemite, all the cell research and the
best beaches. Thank you.

You get the people who believe that: [1] life is sacred unless they
are discussing the death penalty or gun laws, and [2] evolution is
only a theory, and [3] Saddam was involved in 9/11.

Sincerely,

Unknown in New California

[hurrikane]

New CA . what a joke.

they'll be broke in a year

[kenwoodallpromos]

Red states get the WMDS, NORAD, airline hubs, and CNN to run. Good luck when China invades or N Korea starts nuking !LOL!

[JustRalph]

You forget, we have all the guns........and more importantly the will to kick the shit out of New California.........and bring them back into line.

[lsbets]

Let's see - Ft. Hood, Ft Benning, Ft Campbell, Ft Bragg - New Cali would fold faster than a Taliban tent.

[chickenhead]

Originally Posted by JustRalph

You forget, we have all the guns........and more importantly the will to kick the shit out of New California.........and bring them back into line.

Aw shucks

All you guys ever do is complain about us...it's nice to know that deep down you really want us after all.

You guys could keep the military bases, and we could keep all the engineers that design all the weapons.......you know you guys 'ed be throwing rocks inside of ten years

[JustRalph]

Originally Posted by ljb

Dear Red States,

We're ticked off at the way you've treated California, and we've
decided we're leaving. Good, go ahead

We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue
States with us. You can have them

In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington,
Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all of the Northeast. No Shit?

You get Texas, Oklahoma and all of the slave states. Good......

We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and
especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly:

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.
Yep,,,,you would prefer a gift from the Surrender monkeys.......figures.........We will have some serious good country music and the best damn Barbecue in the world.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom and Enron.
No problem........who the hell are you gonna sell windows and the hardware to? Amd will still sell to us........even though they are in New California. If not, how long do you think it will take for China or Taiwan to start making processors that are even better.......hell most chips are made over there now.........

We get all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, as well as Stanford, Cal
Tech and MIT. You get Bob Jones University. We will take the Big Ten, no problem, The SEC and the like........Blue States don't have a monoply on good schools. Not to mention the great hospitals and such. Cleveland Clinic.....etc......I say it's an even shake.

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You
get Alabama. No problem........we have News Corp..I am sure Rupert will move into a Red State......We also have several auto plants and tons of military bases.....we can get by. Most of those entrepreneurs have there stuff made in our states anyway

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the Red States
pay their fair share. I think we can handle the burden........we know how to work, without goverment interference.......

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Red
States, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single
moms. Yeah right.........remember, you get Ted Kennedy, John Kerry, Ted Turner, Jane Fonda, can you give me one thing they all have in common? Oh yeah......Annulment!You also get the rest of the Kennedy's ....the hollywood crowd and their morals......need I say more? Oh yeah.....be careful with those Kennedy's. People tend to end up dead in a moat or with a golf club sticking out of their heads...when they get around the kennedy's. they can philander with the best of them.......but don't let them fly planes or drive after 8 p.m.....oh BTW, Single Mom's can be tough as nails. I seem to think they will get by........without the influence of Hollywood and drug trade out of Detroit and California, New Mexico etc.....their kids will be much better off.........Did I mention we are gonna close the borders?

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and
anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at
once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals.
No problem. What about the Gays? Trade you those guys (*tongue in cheek firmly...no nasty grams please) for Arnold? Deal?

We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but
we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

No problem.....you are going to need your resources.....the laws in california will put just about everybody out of work........and don't forget the 17 dollars of workers comp that needs to be paid on every $100 bucks of payroll. The fact that you won't have a steady influx of out of state workers etc.....is going to be tough. You might have to break out some new pavement because that highway from Mexico is going to be busy...........but remember.......they have no skills........

With the Blue States in hand, we will control of 80 percent of the
country's fresh water, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95
percent of America's quality wines, 90 percent of all cheese, 90
percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal,
all living redwoods, sequoias and condors.

I seem to think that we can get by without these things.......we do most of the time anyway. BTW, we know how to grow crops.....we have wineries in Ohio even........we also have a few Nuclear power plants and a super huge hold on the big rivers, we can harness those and cut them off from you. In fact a bunch of that water flowing to California can be cut off pretty easy.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88
percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care
costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the
tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, virtually 100 percent of all
televangelists, and that big old fat drugged up hypocrite, Rush
Limbaugh.

No problem. We can kill the mosquitoes, we do it everyday. We also can handle the obese types........unlike being Liberal.....being fat is curable. Time is on our side.

We also get Hollywood and Yosemite, all the cell research and the
best beaches. Thank you.

We really don't care about Hollywood, or haven't you heard? Yosemite is damn nice.........but have you ever been to the Great Smokey Mountains? How about the Everglades? North Carolina? Florida has some kick ass beaches and we get Disney World. one question?...who the hell is Hollywood going to sell their crap to? I am sure Rupert Murdoch and Mel Gibson can build a new Hollywood. We have plenty of fake tits and asses here. We can make a movie.........or two. The difference is ours will be believable, original and good..........

You get the people who believe that: [1] life is sacred unless they
are discussing the death penalty or gun laws, and [2] evolution is
only a theory, and [3] Saddam was involved in 9/11.

Yeah, we know. We like those people. They think things through. They also believe in the constitution, the Bible, or at least the parts that are plainly about right and wrong. The pages are black and white and there is no gray.........so the crime rate will be much lower than New California. Oh yeah....don't forget, you get the killer gangs too. Not much of that here. We will be glad to ship the Crips and the Bloods to you. Fee of charge. That includes the Mafia, Maybe we can trade for some Wine and Cheese? Huh? Oh yeah.....you keep your pedophiles we will keep ours......ours will die out in prison in a generation or so...........Yours will .............??????

~

[chickenhead]

we pay on average about 5% workmans comp here in Old Cali JR.

[Tom]

Originally Posted by lsbets

Let's see - Ft. Hood, Ft Benning, Ft Campbell, Ft Bragg - New Cali would fold faster than a Taliban tent.

I would suspect a bunch from Toga III could get liquored up on a dark day and take California.

[kenwoodallpromos]

Seems to me almost all the terrorist cells were in Wash, Or, Ca, Mi, Il, NY, NJ... The FUNdiMENTAList muslims do not seem to want to get too close to the fundimentalist christian states (sxcept part of Va).

[kenwoodallpromos]

Red states also got nevada (area 51), so they got the ET aliens on their side!

[DJofSD]

Why stop with creating just a new CA? Let's keep going.

How about dividing CA into individual city-states to correspond to the dominate polical party by county. Los Angeles, San Fransisco, etc., will be democrat. All other counties will be republican.

You can have Hollywood and North Beach. We'll keep all the food and water.

Now whatcha goin' do?

DJofSD

[PaceAdvantage]

These guys thrive on divisiveness, don't they? Always dividing folks...always labeling.....

Last time I looked, it's the UNITED STATES of America. Start acting like it.

[JustRalph]

Originally Posted by chickenhead

we pay on average about 5% workmans comp here in Old Cali JR.

here is an article from Nov 2004 where they were going to drop it 5%

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/articl...&type=business

I ran a business in California for a while. Toss in the admin costs of keeping up with the workers comp rules and you get 15-17%........

[chickenhead]

Me and my buddy run a corporation her enow. It obviously depends on the type of business you are talking about, our total costs are about 3% of payroll. Admin costs..about 10 minutes of someones time every week.