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Telemarketing myself
A few minutes ago, my cell played its old-time phone ring. I looked at the screen, and caller ID read "My Phone." The number that was calling me was the same one as the phone in my hand.
I talk to myself anyway, so I thought that I should hear what I had to say. I answered the call. A female voice told me to wait for the next agent. It was a nice voice if you're into the digital voice thing. Then a human spoke. I could hear a lot of other humans in the background. I didn't know I had so many people in the house. If there were I didn't see them. Just the wife and cat, and if they were talking, they learned ventriloquism.
So I waited to see what Me had to say to me. The Me on the other side of the call didn't sound like the me sitting in the chair listening to myself. Me on the other side had an accent, probably from somewhere in Asia. That Me wasn't using very good English either. It was also a female version of me. Thus giving a new meaning to "bisexual." Or something.
Anyway, Me wanted to sell me an automobile warranty plan on a vehicle I traded in two years ago for the vehicle I now have. I told Me that my vehicle was under warranty for another three years. Me didn't care. Me went right on reading from the script, until I got tired of listening to Me, told Me to do something special and probably impossible, and pressed the red button.
After I mumbled something about the state of the world, my wife asked me if I was talking to myself again. I told her that I was not only talking to myself, I was also phoning myself from India (or wherever) to sell myself an auto warranty. She gave me THAT LOOK that suggested that I'd finally emptied the bag of marbles, and I had to show her the call log.
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