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Old 03-14-2019, 09:56 PM   #1
sammy the sage
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Did you know that I'm as Omnipotent as

The almighty.....

True story today...(not as good as THE Teach)

A customer told me today that none of her fruit trees brought from us had borne any fruit at all last year....after about 20 seconds of daze/pause...I asked what she had...She proceeded to volunteer that she had peaches...which last spring had produced the start of small fruit but then a late freeze came along.....and wiped them out

After about a 45 second stunned pause on my part....I asked....so you're equating me with God....and that I'm in charge of the weather....

Let That sink in...

So then I said...well...everybody better thank God that I'm not that powerful...and that perhaps she might have bountiful crop this year...cause Fla. shouldn't have anymore freezes at this point......but THEN again...who knows....

So don't mess with moi....or I'll freeze or drown or blow away your fruit...Got it...
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Old 03-14-2019, 10:19 PM   #2
davew
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you should have upsold portable greenhouse that she should have used when weather below 40 degrees and since she didn't it was her fault
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Old 03-15-2019, 01:15 PM   #3
thaskalos
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God doesn't have to issue refunds to dissatisfied customers. Otherwise...he'd be out of business eons ago.
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Old 03-15-2019, 01:44 PM   #4
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God doesn't have to issue refunds to dissatisfied customers. Otherwise...he'd be out of business eons ago.
Really? He's not infinitely filthy rich?
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Old 03-15-2019, 02:02 PM   #5
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Really? He's not infinitely filthy rich?
If he is so "filthy rich"...why does he keep needing more money? The "believers" keep giving and giving...but the money never seems to be enough.
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Old 03-15-2019, 02:11 PM   #6
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If he is so "filthy rich"...why does he keep needing more money? The "believers" keep giving and giving...but the money never seems to be enough.
He doesn't need a thing. It's his faithful shepherds of the gospel who need the support of the flock.
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Old 03-15-2019, 02:20 PM   #7
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He doesn't need a thing. It's his faithful shepherds of the gospel who need the support of the flock.
Gee, Boxcar...how much "support from the flock" do these 'faithful shepherds' need? These "faithful shepards" already wear expensive Italian shoes and drive Mercedeses...while Jesus was in sandals and rode atop a donkey? Have the times really changed that much?
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Old 03-15-2019, 02:56 PM   #8
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Gee, Boxcar...how much "support from the flock" do these 'faithful shepherds' need? These "faithful shepards" already wear expensive Italian shoes and drive Mercedeses...while Jesus was in sandals and rode atop a donkey? Have the times really changed that much?
I did say "faithful" shepherds. There are many "shepherds" who aren't so faithful. But the faithful ones are "free from the love of money" (1Tim 3:3).
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Old 03-15-2019, 03:08 PM   #9
HalvOnHorseracing
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Really? He's not infinitely filthy rich?
He doesn't need the money. If he wants an orange he just says orange. New robes - he just waves his hand and Ralph Lauren pops up. He wants to see the 3 horse win the fourth race - he makes sure Kent Desormeaux takes out half the field and the 3 sneaks up the rail to win by 2 3/4.

If Lauren gets hit by a lightning bolt you can be sure the big guy didn't like the sparkles on the new robe.
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Old 03-15-2019, 03:21 PM   #10
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Moose/Meese

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already wear expensive Italian shoes and drive Mercedeses...
I think there should be a separate word for more than one.
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Old 03-15-2019, 03:31 PM   #11
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He doesn't need the money.
Now you're catching on. God's existence is not contingent on anything. He never needed anything, he doesn't need anything and he never will need anything.

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If he wants an orange he just says orange. New robes - he just waves his hand and Ralph Lauren pops up. He wants to see the 3 horse win the fourth race - he makes sure Kent Desormeaux takes out half the field and the 3 sneaks up the rail to win by 2 3/4.

If Lauren gets hit by a lightning bolt you can be sure the big guy didn't like the sparkles on the new robe.
You should have quit while you were ahead.
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Old 03-15-2019, 03:40 PM   #12
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Now you're catching on. God's existence is not contingent on anything. He never needed anything, he doesn't need anything and he never will need anything.
Then...why does he demand such adoration from man?
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Old 03-15-2019, 03:59 PM   #13
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Then...why does he demand such adoration from man?
He doesn't demand "adoration". But the first and greatest commandment is to love Him with our whole being. Why? Who is more supremely worthy? Who is infinitely worthy of our love?

Moreover, love is the highest, purest, greatest and most noble of all the virtues.
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Old 03-15-2019, 04:16 PM   #14
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But...

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He doesn't demand "adoration". But the first and greatest commandment is to love Him with our whole being. Why? Who is more supremely worthy? Who is infinitely worthy of our love?

Moreover, love is the highest, purest, greatest and most noble of all the virtues.
When I COMMAND you to love and obey me, and I threaten you with "punishment" if you don't...then, what does this say of me?
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Old 03-15-2019, 04:34 PM   #15
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When I COMMAND you to love and obey me, and I threaten you with "punishment" if you don't...then, what does this say of me?
That you are a God?
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