What are your lifetime regrets?

[Inner Dirt]

Originally Posted by xtb

Maybe your nephew died and came back as a cat.

No such luck, I think Pinball was born before my nephew got out of jail for an 8 year stint for trying to strangle his girlfriend. I wish my nephew was dead, and I mean that, he will eventually kill someone. He caused me a lot of grief.

[myohmyjustify]

Turning down a job offer made to me by the great(est) Joe Tannenbaum at Gulfstream Park

[fast4522]

Originally Posted by Inner Dirt

No such luck, I think Pinball was born before my nephew got out of jail for an 8 year stint for trying to strangle his girlfriend. I wish my nephew was dead, and I mean that, he will eventually kill someone. He caused me a lot of grief.

It is real easy, disown him and then there will be no need to post about him.

[Inner Dirt]

Originally Posted by fast4522

It is real easy, disown him and then there will be no need to post about him.

He was disowned when he went to prison 9 years ago. He e-mailed me when he got out. Every time someone claims a person is a product of their environment I think of Noah as the counter argument.

[46zilzal]

Never being more aggressive about my late wife's 3 pack a day tobacco habit that eventually killed at 54 when she barely weighed 80 pounds.

I took some of her ashes to the exact spot we met (at age 16) on the day that would have been 40 years from the day we met.The rest of her ashes were spread over her mother's grave with her sisters, and cousins in attendance.

[Inner Dirt]

Originally Posted by 46zilzal

Never being more aggressive about my late wife's 3 pack a day tobacco habit that eventually killed at 54 when she barely weighed 80 pounds.

I took some of her ashes to the exact spot we met (at age 16) on the day that would have been 40 years from the day we met.The rest of her ashes were spread over her mother's grave with her sisters, and cousins in attendance.

Sorry to here that, did she try to stop? My step dad quit a 25 year two pack a day habit by going to Smokenders.

[46zilzal]

Originally Posted by Inner Dirt

Sorry to here that, did she try to stop? My step dad quit a 25 year two pack a day habit by going to Smokenders.

I tried everything I knew even going to the pathology lab to photograph sample so healthy versus smokers lungs to show her. I think she toned down about a week after that move.

Even when she was in the hospital, with a collapsed lung and pneumonia she wanted me to bring two cigarettes in so she could "hold" them. A rational smart woman she had a deficit when it came to smoking

[Inner Dirt]

Originally Posted by 46zilzal

I tried everything I knew even going to the pathology lab to photograph sample so healthy versus smokers lungs to show her. I think she toned down about a week after that move.

Even when she was in the hospital, with a collapsed lung and pneumonia she wanted me to bring two cigarettes in so she could "hold" them. A rational smart woman she had a deficit when it came to smoking

Were all the adds to quit smoking available that are today when your wife was smoking? The Smokenders program my step dad used 40 years ago that is still around just slowly weans you off of them, not sure if nicotine gum or patches were available then, but their program was all will power.


I stopped a 20 year chewing tobacco habit 10 years ago, I did not use any aids other than gum, sugarless hard candy, and sunflower seeds. I swear it took 6 months to no longer be tempted. A nicotine habit is a tough one to kick.

[Marshall Bennett]

Originally Posted by 46zilzal

Never being more aggressive about my late wife's 3 pack a day tobacco habit that eventually killed at 54 when she barely weighed 80 pounds.

I took some of her ashes to the exact spot we met (at age 16) on the day that would have been 40 years from the day we met.The rest of her ashes were spread over her mother's grave with her sisters, and cousins in attendance.

Sad, and I'm truly sorry.
We may not all agree about issues in the world on this board, but outside the box, human tragedy and emotions go across the board.

[TJDave]

Originally Posted by Marshall Bennett

Sad, and I'm truly sorry.
We may not all agree about issues in the world on this board, but outside the box, human tragedy and emotions go across the board.

Me as well.

Well said Mr Bennett.

[Inner Dirt]

Originally Posted by Marshall Bennett

Sad, and I'm truly sorry.
We may not all agree about issues in the world on this board, but outside the box, human tragedy and emotions go across the board.

That is a fact, even though I have thought twice about a few times I have saved some people. My loser nephew was obviously getting pissed at my ex girlfriend when she was trying to teach him how to cook, something I could see it in his eyes. He had already hit his mother, and was kicked out of High School for attacking a 65 year old small female teacher. At the time I still could not lift my right arm much so it would be useless in a fight, but I still figure my left jab from boxing days could still land a painful nose punch that would make him blink or quit, he was also terrified of me. He was 2" taller than me, the 30 pounds I had on him was fat. As he got angry and walked toward her I got in between and invited him outside. He immediately backed down, guess who got in trouble from her?


She then went on to yell at me that she had things under control and I could not beat Noah into being a better person. Down the road her own son attacked her and sent her to the hospital, and he went to jail. I guess I was sadly right. Some people are predators and will only respect those that can whip their ass.


Sorry I went off on a rant, sorry 46 you had to watch that happen to your wife, in spite of our political differences. Don't let her death be in vain and preach of the evils of smoking to anyone who will listen. No affiliation but Smokenders worked for my step dad and wasn't very expensive.

[TJDave]

I quit smoking 22 years ago and I still look upon that decision with pride.

I was a heavy smoker until I was 50 unfortunately I should’ve quit 10 years before that as I have lung issues because of it.

[Inner Dirt]

Tough to share but I must, to get rid of guilt, that is 30+ years old. I was married for only 5 years from 1987-1991. I had burned through women like changing underwear, played house 4 times before getting married. I was ready to settle down and start a family. I may have mentioned the wedding night, where I could not get off the blackjack tables, and winning a couple grand did not matter, plus feeding her and the bridesmaid slot money. She had 3 miscarriages and they had a very bad effect on her, I do think my lousy childhood beat some of the empathy out of me, and thought we will just keep trying.



She agreed to work until she had our child so we could save for a down payment on a house, after the first miscarriage, she quit working and became depressed, of course I did not know she needed help and I had great health insurance though work that even covered mental health issues. I made decent money and could get by on little sleep, so I worked lots of OT and still had plenty of time for her. As the miscarriages added up she started taking in stray cats that were ill and nursing them back to health. I was ok with that as I have always been a cat lover. Even though she stopped working I split
the frivolous spending money with her, I spent mine on going to poker games and the track. The problem was when I won which I often did pre internet days she wanted half the profits, without providing half the stake.


My regret is all her issues were due to the miscarriages, I should have insisted she get some help. I thought she was just being a PITA. A lot of what she said made no sense to me, especially saying I was not attracted to her when she gained a quick 30#. The only time I refused her advances is when she came out naked trying to block the TV when I was ready to watch the replay show when I had played at early bird pick six ticket. I picked her up and pinned her till the show was over. Oh, the memories,..........

[Teach]

My greatest regret is something I had no control over: my parents’ divorce. I was 13-years-old at the time and living in a Boston apartment when my parents divorced.

Moreover, I didn’t know it at the time - I was then becoming a teen-ager - but my father was a “skirt-chaser.” His women-chasing habits bordered on the insane. An obsession. My father hid his “affairs” very well. He would often call my mother to tell her he’d be late; he’d say he had an important meeting. Sometimes, he’d come home well after midnight. It wouldn’t have taken a rocket scientist to figure out that my father was an adulterer.

Further, what's sad about all this is that my mother was an attractive women. I would see guys in our neighborhood “eyeing” her, especially when they learned she was a divorcee.

When my mother died in 2007, I asked my uncle, my mother’s younger brother, to tell me about my mother when she was a young women (she was born in 1919). My uncle would reply, “Walter, your mother could have had anyone in the city of Syracuse (New York).” He then repeated the word: “anyone.” Yet, she married my father and relied heavily on him for just about everything, including money. After they divorced, she “fell apart.” She became depressed. She was, for a period of time, institutionalized. After the divorce, she was never right. Never the same. She could be delusional. The divorce along with my mother’s state of mind caused my younger brother to attempt suicide. I remember being at the hospital shortly after the doctors “stomach-pumped” him. Thankfully, he survived. Yet we were both emotionally scarred by our parents’ divorce. Both my brother and I became extremely shy. For the most part, we were “loners.” In addition, I felt inadequate. I felt that the half-glass of water was half-empty instead of half-full.

Although I’m better (I received counseling) than I was when I was younger, I still, to this day, can be quite negative when it comes to life’s events and outcomes. Finally, the divorce hurt my relationship with women. There were, before I got married, women whom I liked very much; yet I could never bring myself to say to any of them, “I love you.” That hurt me deeply. I could be so shy. So inhibited.

In fact, in closing, whenever I did say something I’d often end up putting my foot in my mouth. There was time that my date and I went to a movie and then visited with her parents. I recall my date’s mother asking me, “What if Barbara (their daughter) got fat?” I blurted out, “I’d kill her!” That’s not what I truly felt or wanted to say. I loved Barbara. I enjoyed her company, yet I all but ended our relationship with my unthinking, "shoot-from-the hip" comment.

In retrospect, my parents’ divorce “destroyed” my mother and put my brother and me “behind the 8-ball.” To this day, over 65-years later, my brother and I should feel good about ourselves, he became a statistician, I became a teacher. Yet, instead, sadly, we are, to this day, both lacking in self-confidence.

[TJDave]

I grew up in the 50’s-60’s in a small Oklahoma town.

Divorce was a very uncommon occurrence.

Just wasn’t done.

I can’t think of any of my friends parents who split up. The Church probably had something to do with this. I know there was a joke about going to the big city to dance and drink.

People probably took their marriage vows more seriously back in the day.