Mac Jones vs. NewEngland Patriots

[Teach]

"Good morning, this is your court-reporter, J. Pierrepont Finch (“I'll Play It The Company Way!”), reporting for Serious Radio. I’m here at Boston’s John Joseph Moakley Federal Court House in “The Hub’s” Seaport District. We’re here for the start of the trial of Michael McCorkle “Mac” Jones vs. New England Patriots.

Finch: "As I sit here in the courtroom, lawyers for both sides are seated at their respective tables. As I look about, there are many spectators at the rear of the courtroom. All we are now waiting for his the appearance of the judge. I believe we’re about to get started. I see the judge is leaving his chambers. Let’s listen in”:

Bailiff: “All Rise. Court is in now in session. The Honorable A. Frayed Kilts (He changed his name, years ago, from “Sam” to Dred Scott, to his current A. Frayed Kilts) presiding."

Judge Kilts: “You May Be Seated.”

The lead attorney for the plaintiff, “Mac” Jones, is now standing behind his table.

Judge Kilts: “For what purpose does the counselor rise?”

Counselor: “Your Honor, I rise before you and this honorable court for the purpose of presenting a motion. A motion, Your Honor, for a change of venue (There’s a hubbub among the spectators at the rear of the rear of the courtroom.)."

Judge Kilts: “On what basis does the counselor represent this motion?”

Counselor: “Your Honor, may it please the court, my client, Michael McCorkle Jones, known more commonly as “Mac," the current starting quarterback for the New England Patriots professional football team, in my opinion, can’t possibly receive a fair trial here in Boston, nor, for that matter, Your Honor, in any of the six New England states. Your Honor, if I may continue, my client, Mac Jones, has been disparaged, demeaned, debased and denigrated, in my opinion, through no fault of his own. There are many fans, not to mention the numerous media outlets with their sports talk-shows, who have, in an excoriating manner, pilloried both this young man’s athletic talents and have questioned his ability to lead the Patriots football team in future games during this 2023 season.

"Furthermore, Your Honor, my client, Mr. Jones, has been accused of being a “dirty player.” That accusation is the farthest thing from the truth. There have been incidents, yes of a purely reflexive, innocent nature, whereby my client has used his feet, without malice aforethought or intent to injure, that have been totally blown out of proportion. In fact, Your Honor, this whole thing has, decidedly, turned into a “media circus,” with the accompanying snide and tawdry remarks that have damaged my client’s reputation one as 'A Gentleman of the Ol South.'

"If I may continue, Your Honor, in closing, there has been so much adverse publicity about Mac Jones’ performance on the gridiron, not just in this current season, but in previous years, that I believe the ability of this court to impanel a fair and unbiased jury, would be next to impossible; thus, Your Honor, my motion for a change of venue.”

Judge Kilts: “Counselor, I will take your motion under advisement. You should hear from me on this matter within the next few days."

Finch: "At this time, let me bring in one of the best court reporters not only here in the Boston area but throughout the country, Joey Jack."

J. Pierrepont Finch: “Joey, what are your thoughts on the plaintiff's motion for a change of venue?”

Jack: “Pierrepont, I believe, that on its face, it has merit. I do agree there has been so much adverse publicity about “Mac” Jones’ gridiron performance. Yes, it would appear very difficult, at least in my opinion, to assemble a fair and impartial jury. I feel that there is, in this matter, judicial relief, a legal remedy, that would take the form of granting counselor's motion for a change of venue."

Finch: “Joey, I know you’re a big sports fan. Do you see a way out of this, besides judicial proceedings?"

Jack: “I do. My thought would be to trade Jones to the Las Vegas Raiders. That way he could be re-united with his first offensive coordinator and current head-coach, the Raiders' Josh McDaniel. So that the Patriots are not left without a bona-fide starting quarterback, the Patriots would receive in return the services of their former quarterback, Jimmy Garoppolo. Oh, there may be financial considerations, or even future draft picks involved, yet, it would be pretty much be an "even-up" swap. Although I can’t speak for Mac Jones, a change of scenery might do him world of good. As for Garoppolo, I believe it would represent a welcome opportunity to once again play for New England. Finally, I believe it’s a 'win-win' situation.”

Finch: “Thanks Joey for your expertise. As we wrap up this Boston courtroom report, the clock is ticking for any future trades, the trade deadline is Halloween, Tuesday, October 31. Until next time, Remember our motto: “Let’s Get Serious."