Things horseplayers like
10. Stewards DQ's- they may tell you different but the truth is the horseplayer loves stewards inquiry decisions. This is a win-win opportunity for the horseplayer. He can win if his horse is moved up via DQ, which allows him to proclaim the universally known truth that he is indeed a handicapping genius..
The second situation is if he is DQ'ed by the stewards, in this situation he is still a genius however the stewards are completely inept and blind to boot. When DQ'ed out of a win by the stewards it is the stewards that are always wrong. Not only are they wrong but a gross injustice was committed, and now it has been proven that they are *&*&ing corrupt. The beauty of being Dqed by the stewards situation is depth of the complaining, it is a total release of all complaining energy, sort of like a angst enema. Nothing makes a horseplayer complain like a Stewards DQ. The horseplayer knows he is a genius and it was confirmed by his very eyes when the horse he wagered on crossed the wire first for everyone to see. How dare the stewards deny this confirmed brilliance there was visual proof. The horseplayer will reason that even if their horses jockey whipped another jockey in the face, or knocked another horse over due to reckless riding it did not effect the result.
9. Shut out of bet- This is a situation that is a win-win for the horseplayer. Sometimes lines are long at parimutuel windows and an intended bet does not make to the wagering pools before the gates are opened. Most of the time this a very beneficial situation for the horseplayer as a last minute rushed losing bet never makes it out of the horseplayers mental queue. Saving the horseplayer bankroll. The other winning situation is when the shut out bet wins. How could a winning bet that is not placed be a winner for the horseplayer? A shut out winning bet is a great chance to complain and other than cashing a 6 digit pick-6 nothing makes a horseplayer happier than the release of complaining. In this situation the horseplayer can bash the track, bash the other players for clogging up lines, bash the parimutuel clerks, bash the slow internet or bash the slow ADW service. In the shut out winning bet scenario, the horseplayer is all right and everyone is so wrong confirming his superiority over the rest of the world.
8 Odds go down while race is run- Horseplayers find salvation when a horse has its odds go down during the running of a race. Sometimes a horse will break from the gate at 2-1 get the lead and at the top of the lane the odds will drop to 9-5 or even 3-2. In the horseplayers eyes this is proof that the track is &(&^ing corrupt and it is vindication for a lifetime of losing. Odds going down mid-race proves that the horseplayer is good and the tracks are corrupt.
7 New idea is a failure- Horseplayers love when new ideas are a failure. This is why the game does not change with the times as the horseplayers love everything to remain suspended in time. Any new bets automatically will be bashed by horseplayers and ignored. New ideas are not considered and all are stupid. When those new wagering pools are removed from the wagering menu due to lack of action, the horseplayers will tell you how stupid track management is and how if they listened to their players they never would have created such a stupid new bet. The recent Breeders Cup filly Friday announcement c
ultivated the loudest moaning and groaning on US soil since Monica Seles retired from tennis. When filly Friday at the Breeders Cup fails the horseplayers will be happy campers, any of them will tell you how much of a stupid new idea it is.
6. Free Analysis on TV- Horseplayers love free analysis on TV. They use this information in their wagering and if it wins, this confirms that the horseplayer is indeed a mega handicapper and a massive genius. However if the information provided by the TV presenter leads to a losing wager, this triggers a pleasurable bash session where
the TV presenter is conformed to be a dolt and a &*#$ing idiot. Yet another win-win situation where the horseplayer wins confirming his genius and if he loses he is still a genius however responsibility for the loss is assigned to that
&^%*ing 58 flat idiot Matt Carothers.
5 Tips- Horseplayers like tips. They seek out and cherish backstretch whispers about a horse who is going to win due to some human interest event. Perhaps the trainers daughter is getting married this Saturday so the whole track has conspired to let his horse win and now is the time to get involved. People will tell you these things if they like you as you walk around the grandstand. Like many things that horseplayers like these tips are a win-win situation for the horseplyer. If the tip does not pan out they can always blame the idiot that gave them the tip for bad information, if it wins it is because they are a handicapping master.
4. winning- The horseplayer does like winning as it justifies a questionable allocation of massive amounts of time to watch animals run in a circle. Winning also provides balance to the wagering bankroll, extending its useful time and limits the post race complaining to only 80% of the time. It is safe to say without winning, horseplayers and horse racing itself could not exist. Usually every horseplayer can tell you a story of them placing some uninformed wager very early in their handicapping career that won for big money, that is the hook that brings many horseplayers into the horseracing community.
3. Jockey capping- Many horseplayers are obsessed with jockeys. For many horseplayers the jockeys serve a dichotomous role in their life. The jocks are both a safety blanket where complicated wagering decisions are reduced to simple questions of who is my fave jocking riding or they play the role of rag doll fit for abuse after a loss. They use the jockeys as their primary handicapping factor often using the various "this jocks on/that jocks off" moves as their foundation reason for placing a wager. When their horse wins it is because they are a handicapping Goliath with a huge IQ, however if they lose it is only because the jockey is a pinhead, 100% of the responsibility is assigned to the jockey for all loses. These people will often verbally abuse the jockeys, sometimes chasing them down a tunnel to let the jockey know how much he sucks with various four letter words. Jockey capping is a win win proposition as horseplayers always come out smelling like roses, win or lose. Smart if you win *&^*&ing jockey if you lose.
2. Who has got the juice?- Accusing trainers of juicing or drugging their horses to win is a favorite responsibility deferral technique of horseplayers. If a trainer is winning close to 30% a horseplayer will often say that trainer has the juice or is actively juicing his horses to win at such a high percentage. Never will a horseplayer acknowledge the hard work that goes into running a successful barn. Despite these grave accusations there is never any proof that any of these horses are being drugged. Perhaps because many horseplayers hardest day at work is assembling a trifecta part wheel the concept of hard work may be foreign to them. Once again accusing trainers of juicing is a good responsibility deferral technique as lost wagers can be written off as *&(*(*ing juicing trainer rather than dumb me.
1. Free stuff- this group of people is drawn to free stuff. In fact they seem to think that they deserve free everything from PP's, to track admission to giveaway hats and t-shirts. You will often hear them complaining that they are not getting free stuff and that they are entitled to free stuff. A frequent argument at racetracks and racing messageboards is that if track management cared about horseplayers they would give away more free stuff. Giveaway days can be a free stuff orgy with people leaving the track with armfuls of hats, clocks and chairs, often local children are employed as mules to help increase the free stuff payload. Track attendance will often triple on free stuff days.
