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I did some announcing and other duties at a greyhound track back in the 1990s. This is an excerpt of a meeting that I attended.
Joe: What do you think of offering a Trinella bet?
Ken: A trinella? Like in picking the top three in any order?
Joe: That's it! They could box four dogs for four dollars.
Me: And the payouts would be paltry. If the top three chalk won, there would be a $5 payout.
Joe: Nah, the top three chalk don't win very often. You stick with announcing and leave the wagering options to the experts.
Yes, he actually told me that.
Bob: Wait now, what's wrong with a Supernella? Pick four dogs in any order. That would pay better.
Ken: Well it'd be something nobody else had. Maybe we should get it copyrighted or patented?
I wanted to say that they couldn't do that, although they might be able to trademark the names, but I was told to stick to announcing, so I kept quiet.
Bob: We can share it with the world. What about a five dog bet. What would that be called?
Joe: A Quintnella?
Ken: No, A Pentnella.
Joe: No, it'd be a Quintnella. "Quint" is five, like in Quint Cities.
Ken: "Pent" is 5, too, like in Pentagon.
Bob: Or we could even have a six dog bet. What would that be called?
Joe: A Sexnella.
Ken: That has a bad double-meaning. Maybe a "Sixnella."
Joe: A seven dog box would be a Septnella.
Bob: Or maybe a "Lucky 7."
Joe: Wait! Why not just do them all? We can have an Octonella.
Ken: That's a good idea! Or we can call it the "Allnella."
Bob: That'd be something nobody ever did before. What do you think, Pete?
Me: I was told to stick with announcing.
Joe: He's just sore because we put him in his place. Don't pay any attention to him. Let's go with the Allnella.
Ken: I'm meeting with the racing board this afternoon. I can suggest it to them.
I started chuckling. These three geniuses had no clue.
Bob: What's so funny, Pete?
Me: Oh, nothing. Don't mind me.
At that point, a man walked into the room. It was the second-in-charge from the racing board. After greetings, they put their idea to him.
Ken: Stan, can we get approval for an Allnella bet?
Stan: A what?
Joe: An Allnella bet. It's a bet on picking all of the dogs, in any order of finish.
There was a five-second pause. Stan looked to Joe, Ken, and Bob and saw serious faces. He then looked at me and saw a different expression.
Stan: They aren't joking?
I shook my head.
Me: They're stone serious.
Stan: I take it that you don't support this idea?
Me: I was told to, and I quote: "stick to announcing and leave the wagering options to the experts."
At that point, Stan started laughing. It went on for almost a full minute. Joe, Bob, and Ken had no idea why he was laughing. They kept looking at Stan, each other, then at me, but they got no clue of what was amiss.
When Stan's laughter had finally tapered off to a cackle, he spoke:
Stan: I can get that approved if you want it.
Joe: We'd appreciate it.
Stan: I do have one question, though. Where are you going to get the money to pay off all of the winners?
They looked at him like he'd asked them if they wanted to race house cats.
Joe: From the losing tickets?
Stan: What losing tickets?
Joe: The ones that don't have them all right.
Stan started laughing again.
Joe: WHAT is so funny?
Joe: Pete, you know what he's laughing about! What's so @#$@& funny?
Me: You're the expert. Figure it out.
The light went on in Ken's head, and he started to laugh, too.
Joe: What is SO funny?
Bob: I'd like to know, too, Pete.
Me: Okay, since you asked: If the bettors pick all of the dogs, and it doesn't matter what order the dogs finish in, who's ever going to have a losing ticket?
Bob caught it right away, but it still took the resident expert Joe about 15 seconds to puzzle it all out.
Afterwards, Stan and I were talking shop in the clubhouse restaurant, about an hour before the first race of the matinee.
Stan: How did these people get their jobs?
Me: Ken's the brother-in-law, Bob the brother, and Joe the son of Michael...." I named the main owner.
Stan: Figures. Do they often come up with ideas like this?
Me: Too often.
Stan: I'm surprised that they didn't think of a "next-to-winner-nella."
Me: You mean the winning combination was the dogs in either box next to the winner? That was brought up a couple of months ago. They scuttled it when I pointed out that it would be the same as making a win bet on the dog in the middle.
Stan: You're serious?
Me: Yep. Other brainstorms included a "Show Pick 6," a daily double in which the bettors picked the dogs that finished LAST in both races, and a "Place Double" in which the bettors picked the dogs that finished exactly second in two races. Last month they got so excited over one of their ideas that they were almost ready to phone the racing board to get it pre-approved.
Stan (laughing): I'm almost afraid to ask what it was.
Me: It was a four-race bet. The dog had to finish third or better in the first three races, and the dog in the fourth race had to win. They wanted to call it a "Quadruple Play."
Stan: How could anybody ever dream up a bet like that?
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