Balancing Horses and Family Time

[PressThePace]

Originally Posted by mostpost

I’m not a successful high school basketball coach, or even an unsuccessful one. But I do follow the local team closely and I am friends with the varsity coach. Most likely you’re not just the coach. Unless you are at one of the big prep schools, the position just doesn’t pay enough. Our coach is a guidance counselor at the school.

For those who don’t know, you don’t have downtime during the season. Besides your day job you have practices everyday and games two to three times a week. But as you know, high school basketball is no longer confined to a few months in the winter. Almost as soon as the season ends there are several weeks of AAU ball. June is a big time for summer leagues and tournaments. Teams play two or three games a day, five or six days a week.

We host the largest summer tournament in the state of Illinois each June. A live event with 50+ teams attended by 100s of college coaches including programs like Duke, Kansas, UCLA etc.

I don’t have any advice about your problem except to say I understand the difficulty you are facing.

This is pretty accurate. High school coaches are not just coaches.

[PressThePace]

Originally Posted by mostpost

Could you include your wife in your hobby? Talk to her about what you are doing. Explain your methods and why they work for you. Maybe arrange an outing to the track with friends. Your time (singular) could become our time.

I tried years ago to her involved, but the the game just doesn't appeal to her. She enjoys the occasional day at the track, but it is purely a recreational endeavor for her. We recently spent an afternoon at the Fairgrounds. She had more fun with the weenie dog races than the horses.

She's a project person. When her feet hit the floor, something is getting accomplished that day. Her recent health issues have exacerbated the problem as it relates to her social needs with me. It's fine. I need to attend to whatever her needs are and find my time (possibly early morning or when she goes to bed).

[BarchCapper]

In the 3rd episode of Chris Larmey's "Bet With the Best" podcast (mentioned in another thread on this site), 2021 Breeders' Cup Betting Challenge winner Matt Miller emphasizes over and over again that he is husband and father first and second, lawyer third, and horseplayer somewhere 4th or beyond in his priority list.

[46zilzal]

retired, no children, wife loves horse racing...EASY

[BreadandButter]

Originally Posted by BarchCapper

In the 3rd episode of Chris Larmey's "Bet With the Best" podcast (mentioned in another thread on this site), 2021 Breeders' Cup Betting Challenge winner Matt Miller emphasizes over and over again that he is husband and father first and second, lawyer third, and horseplayer somewhere 4th or beyond in his priority list.

That is the way it should be. I've found my greatest success with wagering when I place family first.

Everyone has 24 hours in a day. It's how those 24 hours are utilized. Eliminate the time consuming tasks that you either don't do as a family or find little joy in doing. Journal how your time is spent for a month and see what should be eliminated.

This can open up a tremendous amount of time in most people's 24 hours. Today most stores have home delivery. Try eliminating all the errands for a month. No grocery shopping, no going to Home Depot to pick up HVAC filters, no grass cutting, no house cleaning, no car washing, no honey do list etc. They can all be outsourced. Do this and it's life changing.

[fast4522]

So it really does not matter home or casino for me, I have strict rules that I follow and the first is waste no time on maidens. Rule 2 is just asking is this "the one" if not I skip the race or just dime super. "The One" has a minimum odds I will accept and have parameters I have setup in Excel the horse must meet, only 2 or 3 plays per day and some days nothing fits the parameters. I have much time to look at old racing programs or to post here. First I took the fun out of the game, then I took everything and put it into Excel and it does not care about anything but scratches that are as fast as lightning with VB script buttons and macros.

[Sunday Silence]

It’s very tough. Family has to come first. My weekends used to be filled with golf and the races before my 3 kids started with sports etc. Then it was 15 years straight of none of that on weekends. I’d work in the am and go to the track in the afternoons a few days a week. It’s easier now that they are all grown, but I play more golf than horses. Online makes it easier. I’m not away. I’m at home. Multi tasking while we are doing other stuff. Still, it’s a fight to be present. Fortunately I never let horses affect me financially or with relationships. But I can see how it happens. I walked a tightrope for decades. It does get in your blood and can be all consuming.

Now I’m mostly seasonal. Get fired up for the Del Mar meet, Triple Crown, Breeders Cup. But can lay off for months at a time. Tend to your wife and play when you can.

[ElKabong]

Originally Posted by thaskalos

When you are the studious type, horse racing becomes the sort of all-consuming "hobby" that makes the 'balanced life' a near impossibility. This isn't a hobby like tennis or golf, where you pick up a racket or a club and go out and have some fun with your friends...and then you put down the racket or the club and go on with the rest of your life. Horse racing gets into your blood and your mind...and if you let it, it will permeate everything else that you do. It's no accident that so many serious horseplayers are divorced and despised.

I am 10 years older than you...and I have tried to juggle work, home and horse racing all my adult life. Because I took horse racing seriously at a younger age, I can't help but think now that this "missappropriation" of time and priorities made me a lesser husband and father than I could/should have been. And now that I am retired, I have all the time that I need to become the "ideal" horseplayer...but the time for me to become the ideal husband and father has passed me by.

Tend to your wife's needs if she is of ill health...and postpone your own "decompression" needs for a more opportune time. I promise you that you will be retired before you know it...and then you will have all the time in the world to figure out the handicapping and betting puzzle. This game will always be there...but our loved ones may not.

Great, honest post. One thing, golf is every bit time consuming as handicapping. Won't go into detail but it's all consuming just to get decent. Then as consuming to break 80. Then....

To the OP, I feel for you as do dozens here that have lived thru your conundrum. You're not alone. But it's all about priorities. Do we want a wife that appreciates what she's wanted since childhood (great, attentive husband) or to be an awesome bettor. Which is more rewarding to you? As thask said, retirement comes fast. Phases of life need to be addressed as they come

[Inner Dirt]

Originally Posted by PressThePace

This is pretty accurate. High school coaches are not just coaches.

At larger schools in the city the head football coach typically was only a coach, back in the day. All the other coaches had outside jobs or other duties at the school.

[Inner Dirt]

Originally Posted by ElKabong

Great, honest post. One thing, golf is every bit time consuming as handicapping. Won't go into detail but it's all consuming just to get decent. Then as consuming to break 80. Then....

To the OP, I feel for you as do dozens here that have lived thru your conundrum. You're not alone. But it's all about priorities. Do we want a wife that appreciates what she's wanted since childhood (great, attentive husband) or to be an awesome bettor. Which is more rewarding to you? As thask said, retirement comes fast. Phases of life need to be addressed as they come

Isn't that the truth, after having my lower spine fused I have to give up golf.
I can see why Tiger gets loaded all the time, bad backs and golf do not mix well. No amount of practice time would get me consistently breaking 80. I was unmatched off the tee, and pretty decent on irons when I could take a full swing. My short game flat out stunk. I was great at reaching par 5 greens in two, then would come the likely 3 putt. I was also horrible getting out of the sand. Always played off the back tees. I bet I would shoot the same from the ladies tees. I usually shot from 80-85. I would shoot the same on a 7200 yard course as a 6200 yard one. I could have probably broke 80 consistently
if I did not take so many risks. I never laid up and I often would try to cut the corner on doglegs. I used to get at least one snowman a round.



I honestly think the weight lifting killed anything that needed finesse. My basketball shooting skills went to hell at 13. Free throw shooting went from 80% down to 50%.

[ElKabong]

So as not to hijack the thread, Google tony manzoni golf. Lot of his interviews on the golfsmarter.com podcasts.
Teaches to play off the left side (not to be confused with stack and tilt) . It is the best option for older golfers and those with bad backs.

[Inner Dirt]

Originally Posted by ElKabong

So as not to hijack the thread, Google tony manzoni golf. Lot of his interviews on the golfsmarter.com podcasts.
Teaches to play off the left side (not to be confused with stack and tilt) . It is the best option for older golfers and those with bad backs.

Even if I could get around the bad back I have Carpal Tunnel in both wrists
and the left hand is is by far the worst, the fingers are stiff and sore, which gets worse from use. I doubt I could survive 18 holes of miniature golf.

[AndyC]

Originally Posted by ElKabong

So as not to hijack the thread, Google tony manzoni golf. Lot of his interviews on the golfsmarter.com podcasts.
Teaches to play off the left side (not to be confused with stack and tilt) . It is the best option for older golfers and those with bad backs.

Only a true golf nerd would reference the late Tony Manzoni and the single-pivot swing. I say that as a golf nerd who owns Manzoni's book.

[ElKabong]

Originally Posted by AndyC

Only a true golf nerd would reference the late Tony Manzoni and the single-pivot swing. I say that as a golf nerd who owns Manzoni's book.

Great book, pages 7 or so to 23 and he's described the entire swing method. With arthritis in the left shoulder, left ACL rebuild from long ago, it's an effective way to play. Simple, effective.

I Put the sticks away in 1981, took up golf again may 2022 upon full retirement. Never lost interest in the sport, just didn't have time to practice enough once my career got off the ground. I missed it, knew I'd play again

Do you employ the single pivot swing? Was easy for me to learn and I don't have sidespin issues, even off the tee. I may be 20 yds left or right off the tee but the ball flight is always straight.

Really liked his interviews, interesting guy that coached in your back yard. One of a kind that was very modest (something that came with age he said)