Seven Racetrack Characters to Avoid!

[46zilzal]

Originally Posted by Learned Hand35

One of the comments after the blog is pretty good:

"I’ll never forget the guy who was telling people that Lasix is when the horse gets laser corrective eye surgery so they can see better when they are running (and he wasn’t joking)."

You would not believe the moronic comments we hear in the winner's circle each and every day......WHY in the world would anyone wager on a game they knew so little about?

[Bruddah]

Originally Posted by Fingal

The guy who loses a photo, curses, crumples up his form & throws it on the ground. A few minutes later he has to sheepishly pick up the pieces up because it was only the 2nd race.

I love to watch the Tote Flippers. Especially those that are skilled enough to turn them over with just the tips of their shoes. They turn them over and then look around to see if anyone is watching. When they find a good one, they dive on it like they have found a lost child.

[SMOO]

Originally Posted by onefast99

They are known as paper jocks, each one has a different style. The best is when they lose the "paper whip" in mid stretch and resort to the hand slapping on the hip, priceless.

This usually happens when they try to switch their program to the other hand to straighten the horse out in the stretch.

[tzipi]

The guy at the end of the day who wants to sell you the exacta or late double to you for half the winnings because he's broke. Yeah, you're so good you have no money left.

[Hardspun]

I can't stand the guy that handicaps at the ticket machine. At the dog track I bet at in Panama City, FL EBRO. I allways get stuck behind someone handicapping at the machine or making 30 show bets on the dog with the longest tail. I have a creative imagination, and just set their thinking of how nice it would be to shank them or beat thier head against the machine. Sorry for the violent post.

[thespaah]

Oh...the guy who spends what seems like an eternity turning his program each way to read off the numbers he's written down and NEVER has his money in hand. Always has to dig for his wallet, take out money, TRIPLE count it then looks for the smallest bills he has because he doesn't want to break $20's..
I had a frend back in the 80's that did all these things...I knew better than to get in line behind him.

Then there's the guy who NEVER writes down any of his bets and by the thme he gets to the window he has to play guess your best..
These are also the jerks that have 78 $1 bets to make with 2 mins to post.

[thespaah]

Originally Posted by Hardspun

I can't stand the guy that handicaps at the ticket machine. At the dog track I bet at in Panama City, FL EBRO. I allways get stuck behind someone handicapping at the machine or making 30 show bets on the dog with the longest tail. I have a creative imagination, and just set their thinking of how nice it would be to shank them or beat thier head against the machine. Sorry for the violent post.

There is a less violent but equally cruel yet comical way to deal with asswipes like that...
One is, drop a dollar on the floor right at his feet and tell him you think he just dropped his money on the floor"...He will frantically stoop down looking all over while claiming the dough is his....He's out of line , you step up and make your bets...
Spill cold soft drink on his shoes by "accident"...No beer. He could claim you're a drunk...
Knee right behind his knee. His leg buckles and he has no idea who did it. He will look around for the culprit just long enough for you to get by and make your bets.
Or you could simply walk up behind him and knock his stuff out of his hands....well maybe that's a bit high schoolish.....

[badcompany]

Originally Posted by thespaah

Oh...the guy who spends what seems like an eternity turning his program each way to read off the numbers he's written down and NEVER has his money in hand. Always has to dig for his wallet, take out money, TRIPLE count it then looks for the smallest bills he has because he doesn't want to break $20's..

This one transfers over to everyday life. Whenever I'm on any cashier line, the person in front of me always seems shocked to find out that he/she has to pay for the merchandise.

And don't get me started on the women (and a few) men with the change purses.

[tzipi]

Originally Posted by thespaah

Oh...the guy who spends what seems like an eternity turning his program each way to read off the numbers he's written down and NEVER has his money in hand. Always has to dig for his wallet, take out money, TRIPLE count it then looks for the smallest bills he has because he doesn't want to break $20's..
I had a frend back in the 80's that did all these things...I knew better than to get in line behind him.

Then there's the guy who NEVER writes down any of his bets and by the thme he gets to the window he has to play guess your best..
These are also the jerks that have 78 $1 bets to make with 2 mins to post.

Totally agree. I don't mind people enjoying the races and maybe they take their time to say a bet but no one should go up there not knowing what they want to bet and go through their program to see or have the money for their bets in their wallet and not even taken out. Happens all the time and people really get mad. Always know your bets before you get up there and have your money ready. That's all.

[salty]

I hate going to play on any big days when there are morons at the machine making their bets for the big race when theres 1 minute to post for the 2nd race. All I do is just stand behind them and get everyone else in line on the guy until he just takes his voucher and gets out of the way.

My least favorite track character is the bad teller. I hate going to the window and having a teller that looks like you are bothering their private sitting in the chair staring blankly at the wall time. Or the teller that is more than half deaf and can't hear you even when there is hardly any noise. Or the teller that keeps punching in the wrong number. The worst is the teller that puts you at the wrong track and its too late to fix the bet for the track you are betting.

I also hate the guy behind me that seems to have hit every superfecta all day. He always sits right behind me and i always hear. Oh that was an easy one when a 20-1 wins. And he always seems to be right except when i decide to put the horse in my tri or super.

I like the tall old man at simulcast that sits upfront and when he wins he stands up and says yabba dabba doo.

I like people with accents that say something like "The two is the wiener, the two is the weiner!"

I like it when my friend that has been betting for 15 years and doesn't even know what a maiden is wins with his numbers.

[only11]

My teller story..A few years ago i was @ tampa bay downs simulcast...I was capping churchill downs ( it may have been the Foster Cap)...
Finally i made my way to the window to bet Guided Tour...My bet $200 win and box him in exactas ...
The teller had the nerve to tell me "HOLD ON IM ALMOST DONE... IM BETTING TRIPLES AT GREYHOUND..."Say what...
Next thing you know i get shut out and you guess it Guided Tour wins and pays $33..(forgot what the exacta paid)
I went back to the teller and me and her went at it dropping FF bombs..
Finally i get escorted out and banned for 6 months...
Wait i forgot to tell you....the teller was about 76 years...!

[BlueShoe]

Do not patronize a mutual clerk, use the sam's, but that means a different set of dolts to avoid. For starters, here are three to never get in line behind them:
The Dreamer-This is the guy that when he gets to the machine he leans forward, puts his elbows on the ledge, and goes into a trance. After what seems like forever, he leisurely thumbs through his program or form, making an occasional bet.
The Dime a Dance-The player with a 10 dollar voucher that plays the dime superfectas. He punches in lots of numbers, seemingly at random, and about half the time, he clears the ticket and starts all over again.
The Communicator-This man spends lots of time on his cell phone. He will take a call anytime. If he is at the machine, if his phone rings he will stop betting to answer it and stand there and talk.

[only11]

Originally Posted by Bruddah

I love to watch the Tote Flippers. Especially those that are skilled enough to turn them over with just the tips of their shoes. They turn them over and then look around to see if anyone is watching. When they find a good one, they dive on it like they have found a lost child.

i cant get enough of this thread..

[horses4courses]

Haven't we all been in line, stuck behind a guy handicapping as he bets?
This can also apply to SAMs, but having to listen to someone like this makes it even more annoying.

He's the guy betting partial wheels, willy nilly, as post time draws near.

Totally oblivious to anyone who might in line behind him, he calls numbers
as they pop into his head:
"Give me a $2 exacta partial wheel - umm 5 over the 2,3,....6...umm 4, and 1,
and the 8. Ummm...... a $1 trifecta....." And so on.

These people need to be insulted. It's mandatory.
"Give someone else a chance....You done yet?....Is this your private window?"
You get the idea........

It is your own problem, though, if you regularly hit the windows with 1 min to post.
But the window handicappers are the worst.
I used to give them a hard time, occasionally, when managing a race/sportsbook. They regularly shut out good players. Everyone gets hurt.

Rule of thumb:
Don't handicap at the window.
Know your wagers as you approach the window.

Good luck!

[DeoVolente]

The Monmouth park mutual clerks are a trip. Last week made a hit and went to the window to collect with my 12 year old daughter tagging along. I got paid from the clerk and gave my daughter 20 bucks only to hear him saying that I shouldn't be doing that at the window and that I was breaking the law!