Mac Jones: Nuts

[Teach]

Serious Radio, “The Dog-Star Network,” reportedly did an “off-the-cuff” interview with Patriots quarterback, Mac Jones. According to Serious, their Jones interview had little to do with football - then again - and more to do with Jones' likes and preferences. Serious as in “You Can’t be Serious,” was kind enough to send the transcript of that Jones interview to various outlets, including my own, “Down-By-The-Levee," our motto: “Say Levy!”

Interviewer: "Mac, what are some of your favorite commercials?"

Jones: "I like the Almond Joy commercial. You know, 'Sometimes you feel like a nut…' Then there’s the 'Chock Full o’ Nuts' commercial, 'The Heavenly Coffee.' I also like the Crunch Nut commercial, it's one of my favorites: 'Crunch Nut: The Trouble Is They Taste Too Good.'"

Interviewer: "Mac, what are some of your favorite foods?"

Jones: "I like Honey-Nut Cheerios. I also like Fluffer-Nutter sandwiches. Oh yes, Nutella."

Interviewer: "Mac, any songs you're partial to?"

Jones: "I like the song "I Got Plenty of Nuttin..." I like 'Gotta Let Your Nuts Hang' by the Geto Boys. Then, there's 'Nuts Bolts Screws' by Slade. Oh, I'm eclectic when it comes to music, even ballet. I enjoy 'The Nutcracker Suite.'"

Interviewer: "Mac, anything historical?"

Jones: "Yes, now that you mention it. When the Germans asked U.S. General McAuliffe to surrender at the Battle of The Bulge," he replied: "Nuts!"

Interviewer: "Any final comments, Mac?"

Jones: Yes, when I attended the Bolles School, we had this little ditty: "Do Your Balls Hang Low? Do They Wobble To and Fro? Can You Throw Them Over Your Shoulder Like A Continental Soldier?"

Jones: "Oh one last thing. "The bigger the nuts, the better." I prefer an African-continent nut called the coco de mer, but I'd settle for a Macadamia or a Brazil nut."

Interviewer: "Thanks for your time, Mac. May your craving for nuts never be extinguished."