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Old 11-26-2012, 11:02 AM   #1
sammy the sage
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Some classic college football one liners

Ohio State 's Urban Meyer on one of his players: "He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words."
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Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?
So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.
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What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs?
Drool.
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How many Michigan freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That's a sophomore course.
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How did the Georgia football player die from drinking milk?
The cow fell on him.
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Two West Virginia football players were walking in the woods.
One of them said, "Look, a dead bird."
The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"
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A Notre Dame football player was almost killed yesterday in a tragic horseback-riding accident.
He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death.
Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse. __________________________________________________ ____________________________________
What do you say to a University of Miami Hurricane football player dressed in a three-piece suit? "
"Will the defendant please rise."
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If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is driving?
The police officer.
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How can you tell if an Auburn football player has a girlfriend?
There's tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.
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What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room?
A full set of teeth.
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University of Michigan Coach Brady Hoke is only going to dress half of his players for the game this week; the other half will have to dress themselves.
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How is the Indiana football team like an opossum?
They play dead at home and get killed on the road.
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Why did the Nebraska linebacker steal a police car?
He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.
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How do you get a former Iowa football player off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.
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Old 11-26-2012, 11:27 AM   #2
Valuist
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What does the "N" on Nebraska helmets stand for? Knowledge.
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Old 11-26-2012, 06:17 PM   #3
TJDave
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sammy the sage
Ohio State 's Urban Meyer on one of his players: "He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words."
I think that's originally a Bobby Bowden quote.

Bobby had a classic reply for a reporter questioning one of his players arrested for armed robbery. Something akin to, "it's not like he murdered someone."
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Old 11-26-2012, 08:25 PM   #4
Pace Cap'n
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Ohio State had to put in artificial turf. The cheerleaders kept eating the grass.
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Old 11-26-2012, 09:05 PM   #5
Rutgers
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sammy the sage
___________________________________________
How many Michigan freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That's a sophomore course.
___________________________________________

A variation:

How many Michigan freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but he gets 3 credits for doing it.

Plus,

The Michigan offensive line canít read this.
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Old 11-26-2012, 10:30 PM   #6
elysiantraveller
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Whats one thing Wolverines and Buckeye's have in common?

They both got accepted to Ohio State.
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