on not being the best at something

[Half Smoke]

..................


there were 3 things in my life that I was passionate about and wanted to be - if not the very best at - at least among the best

these 3 things were basketball, blackjack and playing guitar

on all 3 of these things I think I can objectively say I was good - but nowhere near to being the best or among the best

this is the glory and pain of competition
the cream rises to the top
but so many are left behind

now, older, I don't really have a burning desire to compete any more
in a lot of ways it's kind of nice - not trying to be better than other people - there is no stress and no pressure

in other ways it's kind of sad
you feel like you're really an outsider - not really in the mix of things

such is life - I always think it's like the Chinese food that's called "sweet and sour"


*

[Snick]

That's interesting. I never looked at life or any of life's endeavors as a competition against others. I looked at it more as a competition with myself to be the best I could be and for everyday to be just a little better at the endeavor as the day before. If you look at it as competition against other people just for the sake of winning, that is just emptiness and vanity.

[Snick]

I believe that people who achieve greatness in their endeavors are driven by much deeper things than a competitive spirit. I believe that anyone can achieve that greatness if they had the right motivation. However there are limits. You not are going to have a 5'-0" tall person be a star professional basketball player, not impossible but unlikely. But each person has the ability to achieve greatness in something that they are really interested in if they have the right motivation, desire and dedication, and put a lot of work into it.

[thaskalos]

The three things that I felt I had real talent for were horse-betting, poker and bowling. This talent made me stand out wherever "good" players congregated...and I started having delusions of grandeur early on. With a little luck and a lot of practice...I figured I might eventually get to be one of the "ones". Alas, it wasn't meant to be...and I subsequently had to revise my expectations. I now endeavor to IDENTIFY the "best"...in order to avoid them. A man's got to know his limitations.

[classhandicapper]

now, older, I don't really have a burning desire to compete any more
in a lot of ways it's kind of nice - not trying to be better than other people - there is no stress and no pressure

Interesting that I was just thinking about this myself the other day when I shot some pool for the first time in about 18 months.

I shot a LOT of pool in my teens and got good very quickly. I became passionate about getting better. However, I didn't necessarily enjoy competing even though I enjoyed playing. When some other teenager showed up in my poolroom from another borough and he was as good or better than me, it put me in a mental funk.

There are multiple ways you can react to that.

It can motivate you to practice harder.

You can quit.

You can accept your position and just try to enjoy playing.

I remember asking myself "If I can't be the best, why play at all?"

I wound up stopping for totally unrelated reasons before I got anywhere near being a pro level player, but I can relate to becoming passionate about becoming great at something and feeling the stresses and pressure if it. I don't play anywhere near my peak anymore because I rarely play, but it's more fun when you don't care as much.