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now, older, I don't really have a burning desire to compete any more
in a lot of ways it's kind of nice - not trying to be better than other people - there is no stress and no pressure
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Interesting that I was just thinking about this myself the other day when I shot some pool for the first time in about 18 months.
I shot a LOT of pool in my teens and got good very quickly. I became passionate about getting better. However, I didn't necessarily enjoy competing even though I enjoyed playing. When some other teenager showed up in my poolroom from another borough and he was as good or better than me, it put me in a mental funk.
There are multiple ways you can react to that.
It can motivate you to practice harder.
You can quit.
You can accept your position and just try to enjoy playing.
I remember asking myself "If I can't be the best, why play at all?"
I wound up stopping for totally unrelated reasons before I got anywhere near being a pro level player, but I can relate to becoming passionate about becoming great at something and feeling the stresses and pressure if it. I don't play anywhere near my peak anymore because I rarely play, but it's more fun when you don't care as much.