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04-03-2023, 02:39 PM
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#1
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 1,287
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Snowthing
We received about 20 inches of snow this week. So……….
8:00 am: I made a snowman.
8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman.
8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.
8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman’s voluptuous chest saying it objectified women everywhere.
8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it should have been two snowmen instead.
8:22 - The transgender man / woman / person asked why I didn’t just make one snow person with detachable parts.
8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and are not to be used to decorate snow figures.
8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:30 - I used food coloring to make one of the snow couple a different color and be more racially inclusive.
8:37 - Then I was accused of using a black face on the snowperson.
8:39 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be completely covered.
8:40 - The police arrived saying someone had been offended.
8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
8:43 - The ‘council on equality’ officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
8:45 - TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied “Snowballs” and am now a sexist.
9:00 - I was on the news as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe, and sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
9:29 - Far left protesters, offended by everything, marched down the street demanding that I be arrested.
9:45 - The boss called and fired me because of the negative association with work that had been all over social media.
10:00 - I cry into my drink because all I wanted to do was build a snowman...
Moral: There ain’t no moral to this story. It is what this world has become because of a bunch of snowflakes.
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04-03-2023, 05:59 PM
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#2
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The Voice of Reason!
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Canandaigua, New york
Posts: 112,871
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Good one!
__________________
Who does the Racing Form Detective like in this one?
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04-03-2023, 06:59 PM
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#3
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 4,905
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Yes, a good one, and sadly, too many unfortunate truths.
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04-03-2023, 07:11 PM
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#4
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 46,883
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__________________
Consistent profits can only be made on the basis of analysis that is far from obvious to the majority. - anonymous guru
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04-03-2023, 07:32 PM
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#5
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 28,558
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That's what you get for playing around with snowmen at 8 in the morning.
__________________
"Theory is knowledge that doesn't work. Practice is when everything works and you don't know why."
-- Hermann Hesse
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04-03-2023, 07:46 PM
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#6
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Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Mukwonago, WI
Posts: 3,208
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That was awesome, and quite sadly, spot on!
__________________
"I don't always frequent message boards, but when I do, I prefer PaceAdvantage."
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