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[ldiatone]

: Do infants enjoy their infancy as much as adults enjoy their adultery ?

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. "I do" is probably the longest.

If a pig loses its voice is it disgruntled ?

If Fed Ex and UPS merged, would it be called Fedup ?

The Wurlitzer organ company and xerox are merging. They will soon be making
reproductive organs.

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went crazy.

Circumcision for a rabbit - a hare cut.

Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.

A Pessimist is some one who thinks that all women are bad.
An optimist is some one who hopes they are.

Reality is the only obstacle to happiness.

Jesus loves you. Every one else thinks you're an idiot.

I'm not afraid of death.I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Jack the Ripper's mother to her son : "Why don't I ever see you with the same girl twice ?"

Florida is a great place to live - if you're an orange !

Computer dating is great - if you're a computer !

Beverly Hills is so exclusive that when a woman has a baby, her Perrier breaks !

The inner city high school I went to was so tough, the student newspaper had an obituary column !

She has the reputation of being outspoken- by no one !

If you don't like the way women drive, get off the sidewalk !

The wheel was man's greatest invention - until he got behind it !

Phyllis Diller : "A peeping Tom called me the other day. He asked me to lower my shade . "

A & P and Stop-N-Shop are merging in order to start "Stop-N-Pee."

Remember the poor - it costs nothing !

The difference between California and yogurt is that yogurt has an active culture.

What has 175 legs and five teeth ? The front row at a Wilie Nelson concert !

Pollution is so bad in New York, the Statue of Liberty is holding her nose !

Crime is so bad in New York, the Statue of Liberty has her arms up !

Crime is so bad in new York, a police dog got mugged by a gang of squirrels
in central park !