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[Teach]

No Brady. No “Razor” fans. No top-rated defensive unit. No Boogeymen. The Patriots are as “watered down” as a 3.2 beer.

Meanwhile, the Dolphins QB, the Harvard grad, Ryan Fitzpatrick is, in my opinion, a difference-maker. As my old high school football coach used to say, he’s “a street fighter.” Nothing fancy. No style points. He’s just a gritty performer who gets the job done.

Question: Will the oft-injured Cam Newton act more like his old self or will he resemble a “Fig Newton?” The Patriots have a lot riding on Newton’s performance today. He can ‘talk the talk, but can he walk the walk”? Are the Patriots asking too much of the “re-tooled” signal-caller? Newton is, most definitely, not the same man who, in his prime, guided the Carolina Panthers.

No preseason games. That cuts both ways. Yet I believe it’s to the Dolphins’ advantage. We all know what “Fitzie” can do. I’m not so sure what we can expect from Newton. Lloyd Bentsen once said to Dan Quayle, “You’re no John Kennedy.” “Cam, you’re no Tom Brady.” I personally believe that bringing in a newcomer, such as Newton, creates more questions than answers, especially in light of the fact that there’s been no opportunity to make preseason-game adjustments.

Then there’s Chan Gailey, the former Cowboys’ mentor. He’s taken over as the Dolphins’ offensive coordinator. If you want to play armchair psychologist, what importance can you place on Brian Flores facing his former boss, Bill Belichick? Former Patriots’ underlings do very well against: “Do Your Job!”

That’s why I’m goin’ to the can-opener and opening up some “Alpo.” Yes, I like “the dogs,” or should I say “the fish.” Last I saw, if you like Dolphins, you’re getting a TD. I’m going to take it run all the way to my nearest bank. Let’s face it, this isn’t your father’s New England Patriots. This year’s addition, or should I say, “audition, is “an unknown.” It’s “x” in your algebra problem. In my opinion, the current edition of the New England Patriots is like a patchwork quilt that’s subject to tears.

Finally, when we win, I’ll catch up with you for “a virtual.” We can hoist a few long-distance malts.