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[OntheRail]

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says,
"I clocked you at 80 miles per hour , sir ."

The driver says, "Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at
60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be
silly, dear -- you know that this car doesn't have cruise
control"

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at
his wife and growls,
"Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once !! ?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, "Well dear you should be
thankful your radar detector went off when it did or your speed
would have been
Higher."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal
radar detector unit , the man glowers at his wife and says
through clenched teeth,
"Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not
wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine. '

The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on,
but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my
license out of my back pocket. '

The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't
have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when
you're driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the
driver turns to his wife and barks,
'WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP?? '

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your
husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am? "




"Only when he's been drinking."