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WHO IS JACK SCHITT?
The family lineage is finally revealed.
Many people are at a loss for response when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt."
Now you can intellectually handle this situation.
Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt.
Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, a partner
in the law firm of Kneedeep & Schitt LPC.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins: Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt,
who was a high school drop out.
After being for married for 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.
Noe Schitt then later married Mr. Sherlock, and because her kids were
still living at home with them, she decided to keep her previous married name.
She was then known as Noe Schitt- Sherlock.
Now a cousin Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a nervous son, named
Chiken Schitt.
Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable best friends throughout childhood
and subsequently married two brothers whose last name was Happens in a dual church ceremony.
The wedding announcement in the local newspaper proudly announced the
Schitt-Happens wedding.
The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from
Italy with his new bride, Pissa Schitt.
So now if someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt", you can correct them.
Not only do you know Jack, you know his whole family!
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I hate losing more than I love winning......
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