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Sex Tips For Seniors.
1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.
2. Set timer for 3 minutes in case you doze off in the middle.
3. Set the mood with lighting. Turn them all off.
4. Make sure you put 911 on speed dial before you begin.
5. Write partner's name on palm of hand is case you can't remember.
6. Use extra Polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.
7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.
8. Make all the noise you want, the neighbors are deaf too.
9. If it works call everyone you know with the good news.
10. Don't even think about trying it twice.
Old is when your sweetheart says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you reply, "Pick one or the other, I can't do both."
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"Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
Benjamin Franklin
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