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Forum: Off Topic - General

05-09-2020, 11:50 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,904

Posted By dartman51

I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat...

I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer.
The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.
My ...wife walked by and asked me what I...

Forum: Off Topic - General

11-04-2016, 02:38 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,904

Posted By dartman51

There once was a Congressman named Weiner, Who...

There once was a Congressman named Weiner,
Who had a perverted demeanor,
He was forced from the hill, for acting like Bill,
Now Congress is one Weiner leaner.

The moral:
If you tweet your...

Forum: Off Topic - General

08-30-2016, 07:20 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,904

Posted By dartman51

I didn't sleep very well last night, so, when I...

I didn't sleep very well last night, so, when I got up this morning, I used Red Bull, instead of water, to make my coffee. I was half way to work before I realized I'd forgot my car.

Forum: Off Topic - General

07-24-2016, 12:40 AM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,904

Posted By dartman51

Hillary Clinton goes to a primary school in New...

Hillary Clinton goes to a primary school in New York to talk about the world.
After her talk she offers question time.
One little boy puts up his hand. Hillary asks him what his name is....

Forum: Off Topic - General

07-05-2016, 09:50 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,904

Posted By dartman51

Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a...

Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?

Forum: Off Topic - General

02-10-2016, 11:46 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,904

Posted By dartman51

Farts

Farts

Forum: Off Topic - General

01-29-2016, 10:22 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,904

Posted By dartman51

Two Irishmen are drinking in a bar. One says,...

Two Irishmen are drinking in a bar. One says, "Did you know that Elks have sex 10 to 15 times a day?" "Awww shit!" says his friend, "and I just joined the Knights of Columbus!" :mad:

Forum: Off Topic - General

12-24-2015, 10:45 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,904

Posted By dartman51

A man staggered into a hospital with a...

A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five-iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the Doctor asked him, "What happened to you?" ...

Forum: Off Topic - General

11-06-2015, 01:00 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,904

Posted By dartman51

When General Petraeus turned in he resignation to...

When General Petraeus turned in he resignation to Obama, Obama said,"I know you don't like me, you'll probably be glad when i'm dead, so you can piss on my grave."

The General said, "no, I vowed...

Forum: Off Topic - General

07-20-2015, 02:34 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,904

Posted By dartman51

:lol: :lol: I think it's a little less than a...

:lol: :lol: I think it's a little less than a gazillion. :D

Forum: Off Topic - General

06-13-2015, 04:01 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,904

Posted By dartman51

It was entertainment night at the senior...

It was entertainment night at the senior citizens' center. After the
community sing along led by Alice at the piano, it was time for the star of
the show - Claude the Hypnotist!

Claude...

Forum: Off Topic - General

04-16-2015, 06:58 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,904

Posted By dartman51

Colonoscopy Journal.... By Dave Barry ABOUT...

Colonoscopy Journal.... By Dave Barry

ABOUT THE WRITER
Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald.

Colonoscopy Journal:

I called my friend Andy Sable, a...

Forum: Off Topic - General

10-19-2014, 03:12 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,904

Posted By dartman51

:lol: :lol: :lol:

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Forum: Off Topic - General

08-24-2014, 05:10 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,904

Posted By dartman51

I used to think that a Buccaneer, was a high...

I used to think that a Buccaneer, was a high price for corn, but, these days, not so much. :D

Forum: Off Topic - General

08-05-2014, 05:13 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,904

Posted By dartman51

WOMAN'S ASS SIZE STUDY There is a new study...

WOMAN'S ASS SIZE STUDY

There is a new study about women, and how they feel about their asses, the results were very interesting.

10% Of women think their ass is too skinny.

30% Of women...

Forum: Off Topic - General

04-23-2014, 11:01 AM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,904

Posted By dartman51

Several days after President Obama was re-elected...

Several days after President Obama was re-elected president, he went over to see Bill and Hillary Clinton for dinner at their spacious home.

After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asked...

Forum: Off Topic - General

02-09-2014, 04:14 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,904

Posted By dartman51

Here's a few more. There Ain't Enough...

Here's a few more.

There Ain't Enough Whiskey in Tennessee to Drink the Ugly Off Of You.

Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart

It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chew Your Ass Out...

Forum: Off Topic - General

09-25-2013, 04:22 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,904

Posted By dartman51

An elderly lady was standing at the railing of...

An elderly lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat tight so that it would not blow away in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said, "Pardon me, madam... I do not...

Forum: Off Topic - General

08-27-2013, 01:34 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,904

Posted By dartman51

Undeniable Adult Truths

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
...

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