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Search took 0.04 seconds. Search: Posts Made By: ldiatone

Forum: Off Topic - General

01-25-2021, 07:46 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 351,114

Posted By ldiatone

Several churches started having problems with...

Several churches started having problems with squirrels damaging their buildings.

The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer...

Forum: Off Topic - General

01-10-2021, 01:23 AM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 351,114

Posted By ldiatone

The maid asked for a pay increase. This upset the...

The maid asked for a pay increase. This upset the wife very much.

She asked: 'Now Maria, why do you think you deserve a pay increase?'

Maria: 'Well, Señora, there are three reasons why I want...

Forum: Off Topic - General

08-13-2020, 06:50 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 351,114

Posted By ldiatone

some silly ones What is a myth? A female...

some silly ones
What is a myth?
A female moth!

Q: What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk?
A: An udder failure.

Q: What fish only swims at night?
A: A starfish!

Forum: Off Topic - General

05-22-2020, 02:08 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 351,114

Posted By ldiatone

A mother and baby camel are talking one day when...

A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Mum, why have I got these huge three toed feet?"
The mother replies, "Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will...

Forum: Off Topic - General

05-14-2020, 07:27 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 351,114

Posted By ldiatone

A man is in a bar and falling off his stool every...

A man is in a bar and falling off his stool every couple of minutes. He is obviously drunk. So the bartender says to another man in the bar: "Why don't you be a good Samaritan and take him home."
...

Forum: Off Topic - General

05-14-2020, 07:22 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 351,114

Posted By ldiatone

A couple was shopping at the mall and the mall...

A couple was shopping at the mall and the mall was packed. 

Walking through the mall the surprised wife look up and noticed her  husband was no where around and she was very upset because they had...

Forum: Off Topic - General

05-03-2020, 05:54 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 351,114

Posted By ldiatone

I had a dream the other night. I was in the old...

I had a dream the other night. I was in the old Wild West riding in a stagecoach.
Suddenly, a man riding a horse pulls up to the left side of the stagecoach, and a riderless horse pulls up on the...

Forum: Off Topic - General

04-02-2020, 01:21 AM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 351,114

Posted By ldiatone

:ThmbUp::ThmbUp:

:ThmbUp::ThmbUp:

Forum: Off Topic - General

04-01-2020, 07:04 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 351,114

Posted By ldiatone

Yesterday I was at my local supermarket buying a...

Yesterday I was at my local supermarket buying a large bag of My dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What? Did she think I had an...

Forum: Off Topic - General

03-27-2020, 06:11 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 351,114

Posted By ldiatone

A guy and a blond are on a date, and after dinner...

A guy and a blond are on a date, and after dinner and a movie, they head on up to that citys makeout spot "Lookout Point", where things get a little hot 'n' heavy. Then the guy leans over, "Do you...

Forum: Off Topic - General

03-27-2020, 06:06 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 351,114

Posted By ldiatone

A badminton player and a tennis player get into a...

A badminton player and a tennis player get into a car accident, and it's a bad one. Both cars are heavily damaged, but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the...

Forum: Off Topic - General

02-13-2020, 03:17 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 351,114

Posted By ldiatone

Q: What is a man's idea of a balanced diet? A: A...

Q: What is a man's idea of a balanced diet? A: A Budweiser in each hand!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: What did the bartender say...

Forum: Off Topic - General

02-10-2020, 01:06 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 351,114

Posted By ldiatone

A man is driving down the road and breaks down...

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?" The monks graciously...

Forum: Off Topic - General

02-04-2020, 06:30 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 351,114

Posted By ldiatone

A blonde golfer goes into the pro shop and looks...

A blonde golfer goes into the pro shop and looks around frowning. Finally the pro askes her what she wants. "I can't find any green golf balls," the blonde golfer complains. The pro looks all over...

Forum: Off Topic - General

02-04-2020, 06:25 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 351,114

Posted By ldiatone

Q: Why do blondes take the pill? A: So they know...

Q: Why do blondes take the pill? A: So they know what day of the week it is.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Why do blondes wear their...

Forum: Off Topic - General

02-04-2020, 05:58 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 351,114

Posted By ldiatone

Three women were sitting in a bar, (burnette,...

Three women were sitting in a bar, (burnette, redhead, and a blonde) they were all pregnant. The burnette says, "I know what I'm going to have." The other to asked how. She replied, "Well I was on...

Forum: Off Topic - General

01-13-2020, 04:43 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 351,114

Posted By ldiatone

i remember this fellow. his one line on one of...

i remember this fellow. his one line on one of his show is when he was using a 2 tine fork to pick up a food product and he starts singing " 2 tine 2 tine"

Forum: Off Topic - General

01-02-2020, 02:14 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 351,114

Posted By ldiatone

How do you keep bacon from curling in the pan? ...

How do you keep bacon from curling in the pan?

You take away their little brooms

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What's the best thing about...

Forum: Off Topic - General

12-14-2019, 01:56 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 351,114

Posted By ldiatone

My wife had been after me for several weeks to...

My wife had been after me for several weeks to varnish the wooden seat on our toilet. Finally, I got around to doing it while she was out. After finishing, I left to take care of another matter...

Forum: Off Topic - General

12-14-2019, 01:54 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 351,114

Posted By ldiatone

Many years ago, in the south pacific, there was a...

Many years ago, in the south pacific, there was a small island kingdom that was ruled by a kind and benevolent King. Each year, on the King's birthday, the residents of the island gave the King a new...

Forum: Off Topic - General

12-07-2019, 05:27 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 351,114

Posted By ldiatone

Knock, knock! Who's there? Broken Pencil. ...

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Broken Pencil.
Broken Pencil who?
Don't worry its pointless.

Forum: Off Topic - General

12-04-2019, 12:38 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 351,114

Posted By ldiatone

A thief entered a house mid-afternoon. He tied up...

A thief entered a house mid-afternoon. He tied up the woman and at knife-point asked the man to hand over the jewelry and money.

The man started sobbing and said, ‘You can take anything you want....

Forum: Off Topic - General

11-29-2019, 12:56 AM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 351,114

Posted By ldiatone

Thoughts on marriage When a man steals your...

Thoughts on marriage

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph...

Forum: Off Topic - General

11-27-2019, 02:03 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 351,114

Posted By ldiatone

- Monya, what do think, did Noah catch lots of...

- Monya, what do think, did Noah catch lots of fish when he was in the ark?
- No, he had only two worms.

Forum: Off Topic - General

11-27-2019, 02:02 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 351,114

Posted By ldiatone

It was St Valentine's Day in Auchengillan and...

It was St Valentine's Day in Auchengillan and Sandy McTavish, the local travel agent, was in a good mood. Bookings over the winter had been well up on the previous year and profits had been sky high....

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