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Search: Posts Made By: myhorse1
Forum: Off Topic - General 09-27-2016, 02:09 PM
Replies: 1,667
Views: 349,479
Posted By myhorse1
Timeless Truths

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm and three or more is a government.
John Adams

If you don't read the newspaper you are...
Forum: Off Topic - General 08-29-2016, 07:05 PM
Replies: 1,667
Views: 349,479
Posted By myhorse1
The Power Of Advertising Two young...

The Power Of Advertising


Two young lads, Brian and Greg walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.

The pharmacist at the...
Forum: Off Topic - General 08-01-2016, 05:54 PM
Replies: 1,667
Views: 349,479
Posted By myhorse1
Maid says to Lady I want a big raise. Lady says...

Maid says to Lady I want a big raise.
Lady says Why would I give you any raise?

Maid because there are 3 things that I perform better than you my Lady!
I Clean House better than you!

Lady Who...
Forum: Off Topic - General 07-02-2016, 05:43 PM
Replies: 1,667
Views: 349,479
Posted By myhorse1
Why do supermarkets make the sick walk all the...

Why do supermarkets make the sick walk
all the way to the back of the store to get
their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?

Why do people order double...
Forum: Off Topic - General 06-18-2016, 04:24 PM
Replies: 1,667
Views: 349,479
Posted By myhorse1
A local priest and a local pastor stood by the...

A local priest and a local pastor stood by the side of the road holding up a sign that said "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late! They planned to hold up the sign to each...
Forum: Off Topic - General 06-04-2016, 06:57 PM
Replies: 1,667
Views: 349,479
Posted By myhorse1
AS I AGE, I REALIZE THAT: 1. I talk to...

AS I AGE, I REALIZE THAT:

1. I talk to myself, because sometimes I need expert advice.

2. Sometimes I roll my eyes out loud.

3. I don't need anger management. I need people to stop...
Forum: Off Topic - General 05-28-2016, 08:00 PM
Replies: 1,667
Views: 349,479
Posted By myhorse1
A man is at work one day when he notices that his...

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring.

This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in...
Forum: Off Topic - General 05-21-2016, 04:01 PM
Replies: 1,667
Views: 349,479
Posted By myhorse1
After a very busy day, a commuter settled down in...

After a very busy day, a commuter settled down in her seat and closed her eyes as the train departed London for Liverpool.

As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her...
Forum: Off Topic - General 05-14-2016, 08:21 PM
Replies: 1,667
Views: 349,479
Posted By myhorse1
An old man is walking on the golf course towards...

An old man is walking on the golf course towards the next hole

when a frog jumps up on his shoulder and starts talking to him about

the politics of the day and the latest in sports and the...
Forum: Off Topic - General 05-07-2016, 08:47 PM
Replies: 1,667
Views: 349,479
Posted By myhorse1
One Sunday morning William burst into the living...

One Sunday morning William burst into the living room and said,
Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you!I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name...
Forum: Off Topic - General 04-26-2016, 05:15 PM
Replies: 1,667
Views: 349,479
Posted By myhorse1
Sally was driving home from one of her business...

Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona, when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the...
Forum: Off Topic - General 04-23-2016, 04:47 PM
Replies: 1,667
Views: 349,479
Posted By myhorse1
A man and a woman are sleeping together when...

A man and a woman are sleeping together when suddenly there is a noise in the house, and the woman rolls over and says, "It's my husband, you have to leave!"

The man jumps out of bed, jumps...
Forum: Off Topic - General 04-04-2016, 08:35 PM
Replies: 1,667
Views: 349,479
Posted By myhorse1
While preaching about forgiving ones enemies, the...

While preaching about forgiving ones enemies, the preacher asked for a show of hands of those who were willing to forgive their enemies. About half of the congregation raised their hands.

The...
Forum: Off Topic - General 03-31-2016, 03:07 PM
Replies: 1,667
Views: 349,479
Posted By myhorse1
Directions Make a large poster showing your...

Directions

Make a large poster showing your 9mm, clips and shells and in very large

type at the top print I'M PREPARED.

put this in front of your home.


Don't you just hate it when...
Forum: Off Topic - General 03-28-2016, 08:23 PM
Replies: 1,667
Views: 349,479
Posted By myhorse1
A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a...

A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London.

After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed...
Forum: Off Topic - General 03-26-2016, 08:10 PM
Replies: 1,667
Views: 349,479
Posted By myhorse1
I was sitting in the waiting room for my first...

I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma on the wall, which bore his full name.

Suddenly, i remembered a tall, handsome,...
Forum: Off Topic - General 03-21-2016, 07:14 PM
Replies: 1,667
Views: 349,479
Posted By myhorse1
The Geography of a Woman Between 18 and...

The Geography of a Woman


Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa . Half discovered,
half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful.

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe . Well developed...
Forum: Off Topic - General 03-19-2016, 05:02 PM
Replies: 1,667
Views: 349,479
Posted By myhorse1
A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on...

A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.

"I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have...
Forum: Off Topic - General 03-14-2016, 05:24 PM
Replies: 1,667
Views: 349,479
Posted By myhorse1
There were eleven people hanging onto a rope that...

There were eleven people hanging onto a rope that came down from a plane.

Ten were blonde, and one was a brunette.

They all decided that one person should get off because if they

didn't,...
Forum: Off Topic - General 03-12-2016, 02:16 PM
Replies: 1,667
Views: 349,479
Posted By myhorse1
~ Harrison Ford.... Wood burns faster when you...

~ Harrison Ford....
Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself.
**************************************************************

~ Spike Milligan...
The best cure for Sea...
Forum: Off Topic - General 03-08-2016, 06:56 PM
Replies: 1,667
Views: 349,479
Posted By myhorse1
John Glenn... As I hurtled through space, one...

John Glenn...
As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder....
Forum: Off Topic - General 03-05-2016, 06:18 PM
Replies: 1,667
Views: 349,479
Posted By myhorse1
A big corporation recently hired several...

A big corporation recently hired several cannibals in the interest of cultural diversity.
You are all part of our team now," said the HR rep during the welcoming briefing. "You get all the usual...
Forum: Off Topic - General 02-27-2016, 06:53 PM
Replies: 1,667
Views: 349,479
Posted By myhorse1
A 4 year-old's first paycheck Here's a truly...

A 4 year-old's first paycheck

Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little 4-year-old girl & some construction workers that will make you believe that we all can make a...
Forum: Off Topic - General 02-23-2016, 06:05 PM
Replies: 1,667
Views: 349,479
Posted By myhorse1
A local business was looking for office help....

A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an...
Forum: Off Topic - General 02-15-2016, 06:18 PM
Replies: 1,667
Views: 349,479
Posted By myhorse1
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after...

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got...
Showing results 1 to 25 of 75

 
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