Horse Racing Forum - PaceAdvantage.Com - Horse Racing Message Board

		Horse Racing Forum - PaceAdvantage.Com - Horse Racing Message Board > Search Forums
Search Results

Page 1 of 2

Showing results 1 to 25 of 32
Search took 0.01 seconds. Search: Posts Made By: Actor

Forum: Off Topic - General

02-26-2021, 12:35 AM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,894

Posted By Actor

And an all female jury ruled it was justifiable...

And an all female jury ruled it was justifiable homicide.

Forum: Off Topic - General

10-11-2020, 12:16 AM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,894

Posted By Actor

True Story

This is supposed to be a true story. At least the guy who told it to me said it is.

This took place in the Oklahoma panhandle some time about 1960 give or take. The panhandle is about 175 miles...

Forum: Off Topic - General

09-02-2020, 07:29 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,894

Posted By Actor

Many years ago my wife and I went to a party at...

Many years ago my wife and I went to a party at her boss's house. They served a whole bunch of stuff made from tofu. On the way home I suggested that we drive through MacDonalds for a burger.
...

Forum: Off Topic - General

05-07-2020, 03:08 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,894

Posted By Actor

Robocall

So I'm sitting at home on lockdown and the phone rings. I answer.

The guy on the other end asks if I am the homeowner. I say "Yes."

He then goes into a spiel wanting to sell me a "wireless...

Forum: Off Topic - General

03-27-2020, 06:05 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,894

Posted By Actor

We apologize for the error in last week's paper...

We apologize for the error in last week's paper in which we stated the Mr. Arnold Dogbody was a defective in the police force. This was a typographical error. We meant, of course, the Mr. Dogbody...

Forum: Off Topic - General

01-10-2020, 11:45 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,894

Posted By Actor

A guy gets a traffic and has to go to court. As...

A guy gets a traffic and has to go to court. As he waits his turn he says to the guy sitting next to him "They're going alphabetically by last name. I'll be here all day. My last name is Watson."...

Forum: Off Topic - General

06-30-2019, 04:56 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,894

Posted By Actor

Doctor: Your daughter asked me for birth control...

Doctor: Your daughter asked me for birth control pills.

Parent: Did you give them to her?

Doctor: Of course not. I gave her a placebo.

Forum: Off Topic - General

09-26-2018, 04:21 AM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,894

Posted By Actor

Patient: I'm only here because my wife asked me...

Patient: I'm only here because my wife asked me to see you. She thinks I'm crazy simply because I like pancakes. Really, Doc. Does liking pancakes mean you're crazy.

Psychiatrist: Certainly...

Forum: Off Topic - General

09-26-2018, 04:15 AM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,894

Posted By Actor

I joined the Confederacy, served for two weeks,...

I joined the Confederacy, served for two weeks, deserted, and the Confederacy fell. -- Mark Twain

Forum: Off Topic - General

10-15-2017, 03:43 AM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,894

Posted By Actor

13. It's "alas", not "an ass." 14. It's "her...

13. It's "alas", not "an ass."
14. It's "her soul was full of hope" not "her hole was full of soap."

Forum: Off Topic - General

06-23-2017, 04:17 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,894

Posted By Actor

Heard on the radio

A man calls a sanitation engineer to get his septic tank pumped out. The truck rolls up, the guy gets out and goes to work.

"You look familiar," says the homeowner.

"Yeah," says the guy, "I...

Forum: Off Topic - General

05-30-2017, 12:10 AM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,894

Posted By Actor

A young man left the farm, went to college,...

A young man left the farm, went to college, graduated and then joined the military. Having a college degree he applied for Officer Candidate School and was accepted contingent upon his getting a...

Forum: Off Topic - General

05-28-2017, 12:23 AM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,894

Posted By Actor

How many computer programmers does it take to...

How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

Programmers don't change light bulbs. That's a hardware problem.

Forum: Off Topic - General

05-24-2017, 02:29 AM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,894

Posted By Actor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKJ9ehbW82A

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKJ9ehbW82A

Forum: Off Topic - General

01-31-2017, 11:06 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,894

Posted By Actor

July 1 To: Rep Jones Congressional Bldg ...

July 1
To: Rep Jones
Congressional Bldg
Washington, D.C.

Dear Mr. Jones,

I voted for you. I'm writing to encourage you to vote no on the Baxter Bill.

Yours truly,

Forum: Off Topic - General

12-07-2016, 07:15 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,894

Posted By Actor

Old joke. It may even have already been posted...

Old joke. It may even have already been posted on this thread.

Woman in bar: "I'll do anything you want for $200.

Man in bar: "Anything?"

Woman: "Anything!"

Man: "Absolutely anything?"

Forum: Off Topic - General

12-14-2014, 07:48 AM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,894

Posted By Actor

Cat Rules

No dogs allowed.
If you have mice call an exterminator.
I don't need your attitude. I have my own.
This is my house. You're only visiting.

Forum: Off Topic - General

12-14-2014, 07:38 AM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,894

Posted By Actor

Dog Rules

Dog may not enter the house.
Dog may enter house but must not enter the bedrooms.
Dog must stay off furniture.
Dog may get on old furniture.
Dog may enter bedroom but must stay off the bed.
...

Forum: Off Topic - General

12-14-2014, 07:33 AM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,894

Posted By Actor

Old joke. Man goes to the mall, parks his...

Old joke.

Man goes to the mall, parks his car, goes to a movie. When he gets back to his car there's a big dent in it and a note under the windshield wiper blade. Note reads as follows:
...

Forum: Off Topic - General

10-19-2014, 09:57 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,894

Posted By Actor

A drunk is trying to make it home. He staggers...

A drunk is trying to make it home. He staggers down the street and finally grabs hold of a parking meter and just holds on. A crew arrives and one of them starts tearing up asphalt with a jack...

Forum: Off Topic - General

09-04-2014, 01:09 AM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,894

Posted By Actor

Strange Phone Call

I got this strange phone call this afternoon. Normally I hang up quickly when I get telemarketing calls but this one was weird and I kind of enjoyed it. The caller had some strange accent and I...

Forum: Off Topic - General

09-04-2014, 12:26 AM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,894

Posted By Actor

Q. What are Jefferson, Nixon and Truman? A....

Q. What are Jefferson, Nixon and Truman?

A. Every Tom, Dick and Harry that's been President.

Forum: Off Topic - General

09-04-2014, 12:20 AM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,894

Posted By Actor

I know that fellow. Several of them. :bang:

I know that fellow. Several of them. :bang:

Forum: Off Topic - General

08-27-2014, 01:36 AM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,894

Posted By Actor

Out of the mouths of babes

Man takes Boss home for dinner. He leaves Boss alone in living room to help wife prepare dinner. His 5 yo daughter comes into living room, stares at Boss then says "Can I ask you a question?"
...

Forum: Off Topic - General

08-24-2014, 05:48 PM

Replies: 1,667

HUMOR

Views: 350,894

Posted By Actor

I remember when "quarter pounder" meant you got a...

I remember when "quarter pounder" meant you got a pound of meat for a quarter. :bang:

Showing results 1 to 25 of 32

Page 1 of 2

Forum Jump

» Advertisement

» Current Polls
Wh deserves to be the favorite? (last 4 figures)
90; 89; 91; 90
67; 71; 82; 89

» View Poll Results » Comment On This Poll » This Poll Has 32 Replies

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:38 AM.