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plainolebill
09-25-2012, 12:30 AM
If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates. ~ Jay Leno

The problem with political jokes is they get elected. ~ Henry Cate, VII

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. ~ Aesop

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the Union
speeches, there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven. ~ Will Rogers

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where
there is no river. ~ Nikita Khrushchev

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm
beginning to believe it. ~ Clarence Darrow

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your
opponents will do it for you. ~ Author unknown

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go
out and buy some more tunnel. ~ John Quinton

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds
from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. ~ Oscar Ameringer

I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop
telling the truth about them. ~ Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country. ~ Tex Guinan

I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the

politicians. ~ Charles de Gaulle

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. ~ Doug Larson

There ought to be one day -- just one -- when there is open season on senators. ~ Will Rogers

thaskalos
09-25-2012, 02:07 AM
"There is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress."

"Principles aren't of much account...except at election-time. After that you hang them up and let them season."

"Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."

plainolebill
09-25-2012, 02:15 AM
"There is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress."

"Principles aren't of much account...except at election-time. After that you hang them up and let them season."

"Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."

I've read those before, they're so hilarious and so true. Nothing seems to change.

thaskalos
09-25-2012, 07:01 AM
"Are you a corrupt politician? Or am I being redundant?"

Rookies
09-25-2012, 09:10 AM
" X is an example of the goofs democracy inflicts upon us"
John Downing, former Toronto Sun columnist

"An election campaign is no time to debate foreign policy or trade issues"
Kim Campbell, Con Prime Minister of Canada for 132 days...

Steve 'StatMan'
09-25-2012, 07:29 PM
A young woman visits her doctor. "Doc, I have some questions about some things my boyfriend wants to try with me. Could I become pregant by Oral Sex?" The doctor replies, no, certainly not. She then asks, "Okay, could I become pregant from anal sex?" The doctor says "Why you most certaily could young lady! Don't you know where politicians come from?"