A Bible Story

[cj's dad]

MAMA'S BIBLE

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers. One evening, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the 95th birthday gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who had recently moved to Florida. The first said, "You know I had a big house built for Mama." The second said, "And I had a large theater built in the house." The third said, "And I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her." The fourth said, "You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met this preacher who told me about a parrot who could recite the entire Bible. It took ten preachers almost 8 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $50,000 a year for five years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama only has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot will recite it."

The other brothers were impressed. After the celebration Mama sent out her "Thank You" notes. She wrote, "Milton, the house you built is so huge that I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."

"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home; I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."

"Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound and it can hold 50 people, but all of my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing, and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same."

"Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you so much."

Love, Mama

[HUSKER55]

:lol:

[Dave Schwartz]

That was hilarious. I sent it to all of my Christian friends.

[StormChaser]

MAMA'S BIBLE





Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers. One evening, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the 95th birthday gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who had recently moved to Florida. The first said, "You know I had a big house built for Mama." The second said, "And I had a large theater built in the house." The third said, "And I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her." The fourth said, "You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met this preacher who told me about a parrot who could recite the entire Bible. It took ten preachers almost 8 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $50,000 a year for five years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama only has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot will recite it."





The other brothers were impressed. After the celebration Mama sent out her "Thank You" notes. She wrote, "Milton, the house you built is so huge that I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."





"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home; I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."





"Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound and it can hold 50 people, but all of my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing, and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same."





"Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you so much."



Love, Mama

Thats adorable, thanks for the laugh!

[Steve 'StatMan']

Good Joke! Thanks!

Hear's another:

A elerly church-going widow was lonely, and decided to go get a bird at a pet store for a companion. The clerk said, "Why ma'm, you'll absoultley love this talking parrot. When you lift his left leg, he says The Our Father. When you lift his right leg, he says The Hail Mary. He demonstreates with the bird, and he does say the prares, much to her delitght, and she buys the bird & brings it home.

She sits there ar home, adoring her new prayer-reciting parrot. She lifts it's left leg, and the parrot says, "Awk, Our Father, who aret in heaven, hallowed be thy name..." She beams.

She raises the parrot's right leg, and the parrot says, "Awk, Hail Mary, full of grace, The Lord is with thee..." Shee beams further.

Then she wonders to herself, what will the parrot do if I lift up both its legs? So she lifts up both the parrots legs. The parrot sqawks, "Awk! Jesus Christ Lady! What do you want me to do, fall on my ass?!"

[Tom]

A lady buys a parrot and when she gets it home, it starts swearing up a storm. She warns it to stop the dirty talking or she would punish him, but says to her, "Bwwwakkk! Kiss my ass, lady!"

She is enraged and grabs the bird and throws him in the freezer.
"You cool off in there until I calm down!"

The bird walks around the freezer, looking the stuff in there, and shivering.
the he comes upon a frozen turkey and he does a double take and says,"Holy S***.....WTF did YOU say?????"