Farting in Public

[Ont.Bred]

Just wanted to know your thoughts on letting a fart go in a public place.

Today I was grocery shopping and someone in the same aisle as me let one go as it was just fine.

[Greyfox]

Where did you catch wind of that?

[lsbets]

The answer my friend, ........

[Steve 'StatMan']

Ah, yes. Should be done, if at all, softly and discreetly as possible - but things can happen. I've been lucky to be in empty grocery isles, or have folks far away and being far enough away with cooler noises and musak playing,

Some people can't help it. One very fail elderly person at AP many years ago was alone in a big hallway, I had just left it, but then I had forgotten something, and I turned around to go back. Poor person, maybe cound't help it, let out a large, echoing one that had to have been heard well outside the doorway and down the halls. 10 seconds or more, musta cleaned the air out of their whole GI system. I waited to laugh until I got far away, but ever since I've been worried about getting very old and frail and being out in public. Although frankly, at that age, the person probaly, and rightly feels, they can't help it, and too bad for those that get upset.

[PhantomOnTour]

Just because you have the right doesn't mean that it is right.

Nobody seems to realize that these days

[lsbets]

One advantage of having 4 kids. I can always blame it on them. :cool:

[Steve 'StatMan']

The last force one in public I remember was back in high school, when I guy who wanted to be funny and 'be a stinker' did it in front of the forced air heater during class. Slightly worse than the assholes back then who used to piss on the radiators in the locker room - that was the vilest of all - that had all of us guys angry (yeah, pissed) for at least 2 weeks.

[sovereign]

A crowded elevator is the only proper place for flatulence.

[thaskalos]

When I was a much younger man...I considered this to be a vile act.

Now that I have turned 50...I find -- to my considerable surprise -- that I have become much more forgiving of the idea...

[Greyfox]

When I was a much younger man...I considered this to be a vile act.

Now that I have turned 50...I find -- to my considerable surprise -- that I have become much more forgiving of the idea...

Yes, quite understandable. A man's sense of smell (and hearing) lessens as he ages.

[RaceBookJoe]

Its only good if you time it right so the next person walks into it :)

[sovereign]

Its only good if you time it right so the next person walks into it :)

It's an art.

[Dave Schwartz]

The last force one in public I remember was back in high school, when I guy who wanted to be funny and 'be a stinker' did it in front of the forced air heater during class. Slightly worse than the assholes back then who used to piss on the radiators in the locker room - that was the vilest of all - that had all of us guys angry (yeah, pissed) for at least 2 weeks.

Steve,

Where in the heck do you live?

LOL

Dave

[Jeff P]

George Carlin:
http://youtu.be/RMX8L7Yxyfk




-jp

.

[Tom]

Now that I have turned 50...I find -- to my considerable surprise -- that I have become much more forgiving of the idea...

...and much less able not to? :rolleyes: :D

[Tom]

Hey mostie......you live in Windy City......what's your take on this? :eek:

[thaskalos]

...and much less able not to? :rolleyes: :D

I knew you would catch my drift... :)

[ArlJim78]

at long last this subject gets a much needed airing.

[Rookies]

Yes, quite understandable. A man's sense of smell (and hearing) lessens as he ages.

The first by Thask and now this...

TWO Grand Slams Bk2Bk ! :lol: :lol:

[WPL]

When I feel that bloated feeling coming on I go to the local mall and go crop dusting there.

[Shelby]

My husband bought one of these (http://www.thefartmachine.com/) and unbeknownst to me, slipped it into my purse before a trip to the grocery store. He waited until I hit an isle that was packed--it was the baking section. Anyway, he walked a ways away and triggered the machine with the remote.

I
Thought
I
Was
Going
To
Die
Of
Embarrassment.


You've never seen a girl run so fast with a grocery cart in all your life.

[lsbets]

My husband bought one of these (http://www.thefartmachine.com/) and unbeknownst to me, slipped it into my purse before a trip to the grocery store. He waited until I hit an isle that was packed--it was the baking section. Anyway, he walked a ways away and triggered the machine with the remote.

I
Thought
I
Was
Going
To
Die
Of
Embarrassment.


You've never seen a girl run so fast with a grocery cart in all your life.

:lol: :lol:

You should get a commission, I'm sure I'm not the only one ordering this.

[Valuist]

If I may quote Seinfeld from the reunion episode on Curb Your Enthusiasm:

"Its not done in polite society. Its not done in IMPOLITE society. Even the impolite, don't do it."

[BlueShoe]

My husband bought one of these (http://www.thefartmachine.com/) and unbeknownst to me, slipped it into my purse before a trip to the grocery store.
Technology. This may render the time honored Whoopee Cushion obsolete. :( ;) :D

[canleakid]

"let them rip" :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmIuXyiEzCE

[Bettowin]

A crowded elevator is the only proper place for flatulence.


When leaving an empty elevator it is best to do it just before the door closes so the people getting on next enjoy it to the fullest:)

[Shelby]

When leaving an empty elevator it is best to do it just before the door closes so the people getting on next enjoy it to the fullest:)

Are we married?



;)

[Bettowin]

Are we married?



;)

HA:)

Are you guys going anywhere for the Derby? We are all going up to Fonner Park for the weekend.

[Greyfox]

Are you guys getting to the seat of this issue?

[Tom]

I don't know that I would want to sit with YOU guys at the Derby! :faint:

[Bettowin]

I don't know that I would want to sit with YOU guys at the Derby! :faint:


We get a whole table all to ourselves for the price of two seats.

[Greyfox]

I don't know that I would want to sit with YOU guys at the Derby! :faint:

Are you prejudiced against wind farms?

[Shelby]

HA:)

Are you guys going anywhere for the Derby? We are all going up to Fonner Park for the weekend.

Oh that sounds like a blast!

I don't think we are....unless I find we can't watch on tv, which I need to research now that you mention it.


edited to say no pun was intended by the use of the word "blast".

[Grits]

Between StatMan and Shelby's husband's new remote, I'm laughing so hard, I've got tears in my eyes. StatMan that's one of the funniest stories I've read in a long time. Bless his/her heart, they probably felt so much better.

I couldn't even believe the thread. I was floored when I saw the title. Honestly, I've read it all online now. LOLOLOL :lol::lol::lol:

Ah, yes. Should be done, if at all, softly and discreetly as possible - but things can happen. I've been lucky to be in empty grocery isles, or have folks far away and being far enough away with cooler noises and musak playing,

Some people can't help it. One very fail elderly person at AP many years ago was alone in a big hallway, I had just left it, but then I had forgotten something, and I turned around to go back. Poor person, maybe cound't help it, let out a large, echoing one that had to have been heard well outside the doorway and down the halls. 10 seconds or more, musta cleaned the air out of their whole GI system. I waited to laugh until I got far away, but ever since I've been worried about getting very old and frail and being out in public. Although frankly, at that age, the person probaly, and rightly feels, they can't help it, and too bad for those that get upset.

[Steve 'StatMan']

Steve,

Where in the heck do you live?

LOL

Dave

Why, just fly to Chicago, then follow your nose! :lol:

Nah, that was High School about 35 years ago in a different town. I thought others might have known/experienced people like that in H.S. Maybe I just one of those who remembers and can tell a story. Oh, and no, the guy didn't do it because he forgot to bring something to "Show and Tell".

P.S. Thanks too Grits!

And anyone wanting to get together at the track could feel free and go to Hawthorne. I love the place, but with the Waste Management Transfer Station behind the backstretch, the oil refinery on the far turn, the nickle plant and water reclamation (sewage) canal not far beyond the waste plant, the area sadly has it's own bad stink, no one will notice.

When I used to live in cleaner aired suburbia near AP, and I drove past the town of Hodgkins while alone nearing my way to Hawthorne, the smell of the air in that area near the highway, near similar tings plus landfills, what looked like strip mining, very close to the sewage canal, etc. was so bad that I honestly would intentionally conjure up some farts so that I could at least change the smell to something that, while still not that pleasant, at least was somewhat under MY control!

[nijinski]

Have to show this thread to my daughters as the subject always has them rolling on the floor.
A few weeks ago I picked them up and one said the car seems fine what was wrong with it ?
Told them , the mechanic couldn't find anything and mentioned "coulda been bad gas" . That was his final diagnosis .They were hysterical , laughing,
snorting half the ride . Just simply the words " bad gas" does it for them.

[JustRalph]

If you have an iphone

http://venturebeat.com/2008/12/23/iphone-fart-app-pulls-in-nearly-10000-a-day/

Btw, Steve Jobs actually came out with an edict that he was going to put a moritorium on fart apps

http://www.asylum.com/2010/09/24/apple-steve-jobs-puts-kibosh-on-fart-apps-current-tv-ben-hoffman/

[Pace Cap'n]

One evening, a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for.
The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.
She seems okay but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up.

Again, she seems okay but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning.

Later, the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" they ask.

"It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you fart."

[sammy the sage]

My father ENJOYED it...he would roll up the windows on the truck...and pronounce the "TIDE'S" rising...and then start laughing hystarically...wouldn't matter if a stranger was riding or not...

and of course...the 1st time in public...here son...pull my thumb...thar she goes...

and one wonders why I'm demented :lol:

[Bettowin]

My Grandpa would ask if you could run fast and of course every kid will say yes. He then goes "CATCH THIS" and you know what comes next:)

Still laugh when I think about 40 years later.

[CryingForTheHorses]

Between StatMan and Shelby's husband's new remote, I'm laughing so hard, I've got tears in my eyes. StatMan that's one of the funniest stories I've read in a long time. Bless his/her heart, they probably felt so much better.

I couldn't even believe the thread. I was floored when I saw the title. Honestly, I've read it all online now. LOLOLOL :lol::lol::lol:


Grits...Even Southern ladies fart :lol:

[HUSKER55]

GO tell'em GRITS, southern girls do it with style!:D :D

[CryingForTheHorses]

Geeze I havent heard anything about the good old Blue Angel!!..When we were kids and somebody had to fart we would yell fart!!..The guy that had to fart would drop to the ground with his ass in the air and someone would hold a match to his ass as he farted..When it worked it was a pure blue flame..The longer the fart the bigger the flame

[cj's dad]

is this actually a thread that people are commenting on ??

[Tom]

5z8v7b6ctpY&feature=related

[BlueShoe]

Are you prejudiced against wind farms?
Right, the government says that we should develop alternative sources of energy. ;) :)

[rastajenk]

I'm a patriot. I'll do my fair share. More, if need be.

Contributing to global warming is the least I can do.

[StormChaser]

I'm a patriot. I'll do my fair share. More, if need be.

Contributing to global warming is the least I can do.

If your wearing pants i think that would be considered Internal Warming:D

[highnote]

is this actually a thread that people are commenting on ??


I hope that this thread somehow manages to survive for 2,000 years and that some archeologist discovers it and is able to decipher it. I think it will be as funny and amusing then as it is now. :D