Political jokes..no holds barred

[sammy the sage]

Nancy Pelosi called Harry Reid into her office one day and said,

"Harry, I have a plan to win back Middle America in 2012!"

"Great Nancy , but how?" asked Harry.

"We'll get some cheesy clothes and shoes, like most Middle Class Americans wear, then stop at the pound and pick up a Labrador retriever. Then, we'll go to a nice old country bar in Montana and show them how much admiration and respect we have for the hard working people living there."

So they did, and found just the place they were looking for in Bozeman , Montana. With the dog in tow, they walked inside and stepped up to the bar.

The Bartender took a step back and said, "Hey! Aren't you Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi?"


"Yes we are!" said Nancy, "And what a lovely town you have here. We were passing through and Harry suggested we stop and take in some local color."

They ordered a round of bourbon for the whole bar, and started chatting up a storm with anyone who would listen.

A few minutes later, a grizzled old rancher came in, walked up to the Labrador , lifted up its tail, looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked out. A few moments later, in came another old rancher. He walked up to the dog, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and left the bar.

For the next hour, another dozen ranchers came in, lifted the dog's tail, and left shaking their heads.

Finally, Nancy asked, "Why did all those old ranchers come in and look under the dog's tail? Is it some sort of custom?"

"Lord no," said the bartender. "Someone's out there running around town, claiming there's a Labrador Retriever in here with two assholes!"

[Dave Schwartz]

:lol: :lol:

Okay, Bozeman is actually the only place in Montana I have ever been, and I can say with complete certainty that this could actually happen there.

:ThmbUp:

[JustRalph]

Biden's plane crippled by bird strike. After landing an inspection of the airplane revealed it had ingested a Dodo. The planes manifest was then corrected to read Dodo=2

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/20/biden-plane-birds_n_1442080.html

[BlueShoe]

Okay, Bozeman is actually the only place in Montana I have ever been, and I can say with complete certainty that this could actually happen there.
The home of Montana State University. Stayed overnight in Bozeman twice some years ago, both times prior to visiting Yellowstone NP the next day.

Great joke, got quite a laugh from it. Am going to give it to my cousin, he likes political jokes of this type.

Suggestion to PA: That we create a sticky thread just for political jokes. With the political season hot and heavy upon us, we would have all the jokes in one place, from both sides of the political spectrum. No need then to create a new thread for the latest joke.

[Robert Goren]

It is pretty funny. I have never heard it before although it does sound like one those jokes that you can plug any names into.

[Mike at A+]

Seen on Facebook: "I don't care that 0bama ate dog as a child. I care more that he's creating an economy that may force me to."

[Marshall Bennett]

Heard an aggie joke many years ago with a similar tale, only they were at a circus with a camel. Someone said....look at those two assholes on that camel. They parked the camel, went into the circus, upon leaving there were a dozen camels just like theirs parked side by side. One aggie started lifting the tails, the other asked what he was dong. He said he was checking for the camel with two assholes because it belonged to them.

[Tom]

Obama was campaigning at an Indian reservation in South Dakota.

"I will make everyone pay their fair share." he said.
"Baboompa!" the crowd hollered. Obama was happy that they were so enthusiastic.

"I will invest in green energy."
"Baboompa!"

"I will stop all coal mining to save the environment."
"Baboompa! Baboompa!"

After the speech, Obama wanted to walk out to the pasture and look at the horses. His Indian host told him, "Be careful - don't step in any baboompa!

[highnote]

Romney

[toetoe]

... dong.




Sister, Sister --- Marshall said "dong." :blush:

[Greyfox]

Here's a replay of one I've told before.

A cowboy from Texas attended a social function where Barack Obama was trying to gather support for his Health Plan and new algae energy idea. When Obama discovered the cowboy was from President Bush's home area, he started to belittle him by talking in a southern drawl and single syllable words.

As he was doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head. The cowboy says, "Y'all havin' some problem with them circle flies?"

Obama stopped talking and said, "Well, yes, if that's what they're called, but I've never heard of circle flies."

"Well, sir," the cowboy replies, "Circle flies hang around ranches. They're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."

"Oh," Obama replies as he goes back to rambling.
But, a moment later he stops and bluntly asks,
"Are you calling me a horse's ass?"

"No, sir," the cowboy replies, "I have too much respect for the citizens of this country to call their president a horse's ass."

"That's a good thing," Obama responds and begins rambling on once more.

After a long pause, the cowboy, in his best Texas drawl says,
"Hard to fool them flies, though. "

[highnote]

That's a pretty good one and useful, too. It could be used on any person by changing the name.

I also like cartoons with biting satire or irony. The one above with Romney is funny to me because he actually did criticize Obama for "spending too much time at Harvard", yet, Romney earned two advanced degrees from Harvard. LOL




Here's a replay of one I've told before.

A cowboy from Texas attended a social function where Barack Obama was trying to gather support for his Health Plan and new algae energy idea. When Obama discovered the cowboy was from President Bush's home area, he started to belittle him by talking in a southern drawl and single syllable words.

As he was doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head. The cowboy says, "Y'all havin' some problem with them circle flies?"

Obama stopped talking and said, "Well, yes, if that's what they're called, but I've never heard of circle flies."

"Well, sir," the cowboy replies, "Circle flies hang around ranches. They're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."

"Oh," Obama replies as he goes back to rambling.
But, a moment later he stops and bluntly asks,
"Are you calling me a horse's ass?"

"No, sir," the cowboy replies, "I have too much respect for the citizens of this country to call their president a horse's ass."

"That's a good thing," Obama responds and begins rambling on once more.

After a long pause, the cowboy, in his best Texas drawl says,
"Hard to fool them flies, though. "