You know you're getting old when ...

[Actor]

You buy a grabber.
You always ask for the senior discount just in case there is one.
You buy life alert without your kids urging.
Your most important political issue is the future of Social Security.
Your wife tears up your “to do” list and hires a handyman.
You drive 10 mph below the speed limit because it saves gas and you’re in no hurry anyway.
You stop buying condoms and start buying KY jelly.
Strange women call you honey and you know they’re not hitting on you.
You take eight pills a day and you know exactly what each is for.
The car you bought ten years ago still has less than 10,000 miles on it and that includes the trip to California.
You keep a pipe wrench in the kitchen for opening jars.
When your Harley falls over you can't pick it up, so you trade it for a Vespa.
Having sex requires assistance from both your partner and the medical community. :bang:
No matter how many times you edit this post there's still a misteak in it.

[thaskalos]

When an attractive, young woman you are interested in starts having a personal conversation with you...and then reveals that she is looking to find a date, for her MOTHER...:eek:

Sadly, this happened to me recently...and changed my whole philosophy of life.

[Tom]

When a hooker offers you super sex and you ask what kind of soup.

[DRIVEWAY]

When a hooker offers you super sex and you ask what kind of soup.

Hot Tomato with Crabs

[JustRalph]

You stop being a grabber.

You always order the easier digested food

You start wondering how much space is left on your DVR sometime on Thursday

Your most important political issue is living as long as you can on Social Security just to get back at the government for stealing your frigging money

[magwell]

When your older than everyone in your personal phone book......;)

[NJ Stinks]

When somebody like Harry Wendelstedt passes away....

[Robert Goren]

When you start reading articles like "You know you're getting old when ..."

[Greyfox]

You take eight pills a day and you know exactly what each is for.




You take eight pills a day and you don't know what each is for.

[Tom]

You find one lone pill at the end of the day, and you are missing a button.

[JustCoolGene]

When you start to develop the CRAFT disease....

Can't Remember A F???king Thing. :confused:

[Greyfox]

You know that you're getting old when the Viagra works but you have no recollection of what to do with the resultant.

[BlueShoe]

You always ask for the senior discount just in case there is one.
You no longer have to ask for the senior discount because it is given to you automatically if there is one.

[Greyfox]

Test yourself at home?

The Department of Psychology at Havard has determined that:

"Older men may have difficulty with computers and Internet technology. Initial analysis suggests this may be due to brain aging, prior alcohol or drug abuse, and/or shrinkage of the occipital lobes -- resulting in deterioration of concentration and visual impairment.The Department of Psychology has developed this test to help you determine whether you have symptoms which may require medical attention:

You can test yourself at the link below.

http://www.gjk2.com/test/test.swf

[BlueShoe]

You can test yourself at the link below.

http://www.gjk2.com/test/test.swf

What ball?? :confused: :D

[Greyfox]

Senior Moments ...

9nndS22Qda0

[Greyfox]

uAUHWo7bfTg&feature=related

[KingChas]

You know you're getting old when ...

You turn the clocks ahead and don't lose any sleep......

You turn the clocks back and don't gain any sleep......... :sleeping:

[BlueShoe]

You know you're getting old when ...

You turn the clocks ahead and don't lose any sleep......

You turn the clocks back and don't gain any sleep......... :sleeping:

You do not watch any television program that starts after 9:00 PM because you could not stay awake until the ending.

[PhantomOnTour]

When you see that the infield performer for this year's Preakness is someone called Wiz Khalifa...

and you swore they ran the Wiz Khalifa at Meydan on the Dubai World Cup undercard.

[Tom]

When you stop checking the "Sell by" dates when you shop.

[Greyfox]

When you stop checking the "Sell by" dates when you shop.

Agreed. And when the Doctor tells you to always buy ripe bananas.

[JustRalph]

When you see that the infield performer for this year's Preakness is someone called Wiz Khalifa...

and you swore they ran the Wiz Khalifa at Meydan on the Dubai World Cup undercard.

He did an event at my wife's store last year. The number one phrase in AA County that night was " What the hell is a Wiz Khalifa"

He is popular in Baltimore county though. He did have a #1 song. He recently moved to "rolling papers records" per wiki.

[BlueShoe]

You do not recognize the songs played on the Golden Oldies radio stations because they are too new.

[falconridge]

... obversations like the following hit you in the solar plexus with the force of a Sonny Liston haymaker:

"In my youth, once, when I had a really exquisite toothache, I suddenly realized that my tooth had temporarily become the center of the universe, that its outcries were more important than anything else, and that I would do absolutely anything to placate it. And as one gets older and starts worrying about cancer, one becomes more and more conscious of the fragility of the whole body, and with that consciousness comes a new and degrading kind of fear. It is degrading because it strengthens the desire to survive on any terms, and the desire to survive on any terms is the most base of all our instincts."

Otto Friedrich (1929-1995), Going Crazy: An Inquiry Into Madness in Our Time.

[NJ Stinks]

You do not recognize the songs played on the Golden Oldies radio stations because they are too new.

Now that sounds demoralizing. :eek:

[johnhannibalsmith]

Now that sounds demoralizing. :eek:

I gulped when they played Dazed and Confuzed followed immediately by Another Brick In The Wall on the oldies station the other day. That was bad enough... then I heard later that Red Hot Chili Peppers were going into the Hall of Fame or something... cripes.

[mostpost]

When somebody like Harry Wendelstedt passes away....
When you know who Harry Wendelstedt was without looking it up.

[falconridge]

When you know who Harry Wendelstedt was without looking it up.
I suppose it could be worse--if, say, you've forgotten who Harry Wendelstedt was. But once you've reached that stage, you've probably also forgotten that you ever knew who he was, and it doesn't bother you. :confused:

I was watching old #53, the late Don Drysdale, work to Dick Dietz with the bases F.O.G. (full of Giants) and Drysdale's scoreless inning streak on the line, when the flame-throwing righty plunked the Giants' backstop on the left elbow with a greasy heater. "Ball two!" saith Harry W. You know the rest of the story (at least I hope you do; I'm having a senior moment, myself :blush: )

[signed]
Herman "They Plump When Ya Cook 'Em" Franks
Skipper (ret'd.), S. F. Giants

[CryingForTheHorses]

I remember them saying How you doing kid!! Now they said whats up Papa!

[A. Pineda]

The talk about Don Drysdale triggered memories of Wally Moon and Charlie Neal sending those pop-ups over the screen for homers.

You know you're getting old when you recognize someone in the obits as being your age, and your first thought is, "What happened? He probably died in an accident because he was much to young to go in any other way."

[Rookies]

When an attractive, young woman you are interested in starts having a personal conversation with you...and then reveals that she is looking to find a date, for her MOTHER...:eek:

Sadly, this happened to me recently...and changed my whole philosophy of life.

When two attractive young women who are your close, personal friends stop by to ask you:

" Which event in human history happend first ? Did you start work at our employer or were we born ? "

:blush: :lol: :D :(

Full gamut of assessing your age when that happened...

[Greyfox]

When a female store clerk (if you can find one) says:

"Is there anything that I can help you with Sweetie?"

[canleakid]

when they hand you the menu and tell you "we have a great SENIOR meal deal tonight. :D

[Actor]

when they hand you the menu and tell you "we have a great SENIOR meal deal tonight. :D
I don't drink. Never have. The first time I was ever carded was when I ordered a meal off the senior menu. :lol:

And I was only 50.

[BlueShoe]

You watch or listen to the Rolling Stones perform and then realize that Mick Jagger is several years younger than you are.

[Tom]

Rumor has it, no 50th anniversery tour for the Stones.
Mic will go to the studio instead and do a cover of "Little Willy!" :eek: :lol:

[Ocala Mike]

You still look for these x-ray machines when you go to buy a new pair of shoes:

http://io9.com/5843183/when-x+rays-were-given-in-shoe-stores


Ocala Mike

[BlueShoe]

Rumor has it, no 50th anniversery tour for the Stones.
Mic will go to the studio instead and do a cover of "Little Willy!" :eek: :lol:

"Cant get no satisfaction" doing that. :D

[canleakid]

You know you are old when you check into a nice hotel, and all you want to do is sleep :faint: