Irish limericks

[pktruckdriver]

There was a young girl from Rabat,



who had triplets, Nat, Pat and Tat;



It was fun in the breeding,



But hell in the feeding,



When she found she had no tit for Tat.
--

patrick

[woodtoo]

Good one :D

Here's to the breezes,
that blow through the treezes,
and lifts the skirt above the kneezes,
and shows us the spot that teases,
pleases,
and spreads diseases.
Here's to snatch!
DOWN THE HATCH!

[Greyfox]

k-rN3DGMCsE&feature=related

[pktruckdriver]

A new farmer's helper named Kull
Accidentally was milking a bull
The farmer said, "Boy yer dumb,
You done milked the wrong one!"
Said the boy, "But me whole bucket's full."




THE RACE COMMENTATOR FOR THE 'ROYAL OAK'
HAD A STYLE THAT BROUGHT IN THE ODD JOKE.
'THE OUTSIDER'S 'THE GRUNTER'
BUT THERE ISN'T A PUNTER
WHO'LL PLACE A BET ON THAT PIG IN THE POKE"!!

[Vengeance of Rain]

P T driver, can I play too?
It's not like there's nothing to do.
Two Zenyatta threads
make me wish I had meds
(and a crack pipe and pills that are blue).

People are waiting for babies
Some nice, some who act like they've rabies
It gets quite theatric
but this thread about Patrick
was he weird? Short? Or maybe had scabies?

A limmerick is what you desire?
Can it have sexual fire?
Or must we behave
like were nearing a grave
Cause if so I think I'lll retire.

Happy St. Paddys Day (early)
to all of you, both kind and surley
even those I dislike
(they seem like they're third reich!)
to the skinny, the pretty, the burley.

Special greetings to our gracious host
who once banned me after four post(s).
Forgive and forget
cause were all here to bet
and hit Pick 5s at Gulfstream and boast.

[Vengeance of Rain]

Forgot the disclaimer... yes I am a Zenyatta fan and no, didn't mean any disrespect.

Carry on.

[pktruckdriver]

Forgot the disclaimer... yes I am a Zenyatta fan and no, didn't mean any disrespect.

Carry on.

Yes you can Play :ThmbUp: :ThmbUp: :lol: :lol:

[Tom]

Linda Blair with great favour confessed,
She'd been exorcised, thus finding rest,
But alack and alas
Her old demon came back
and now the poor girl's repossessed.

* * * *

There was a young man from Boston,
Who drove around town in an Austin.
There was room for his ass,
and a gallon of gas,
His balls hung out and he lost'em.

* * * *

Not exactly a limerick, but.....

The three elderly Gallagher sisters have never married, they go everywhere together and they are all hard of hearing. One windy Spring day as they are walking down the streets of Dublin…

Mary Elizabeth says, "Whew, it is sure windy today."
Molly replies, "No, no. Today is Thursday."
Kathleen says, "So am I. Let's find a bar!

[Dave Schwartz]

There was an old girl
who said, "Men are lewd.
A girly must watch,
For a hand in her crotch,
Or the next thing she knows,
she is screwed."

It is amazing that I remembered this one because I was actually knocking back pints of Guinness in a Belfast bar when I heard it at age 17.

******

The other one I am sending to Tom. LOL

[Tom]

A programmer in Reno,
Was the best I have ever seen-o
I tried his New Pace
All over the place,
Now I stick to my Keno!

:lol::lol::lol:

[RaceBookJoe]

A programmer in Reno,
Was the best I have ever seen-o
I tried his New Pace
All over the place,
Now I stick to my Keno!

:lol::lol::lol:

hahaha nice one. rbj

[RaceBookJoe]

There once was a girl named Jill
Who swallowed an exploding pill
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And her tits in a tree in Brazil :)

[pktruckdriver]

May those who love us, love us; and those who don't love us, may God turn their hearts; and if He doesn't turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles so we'll know them by their limping.”






“May you always have work for your hands to do.
May your pockets hold always a coin or two.
May the sun shine bright on your windowpane.
May the rainbow be certain to follow each rain.
May the hand of a friend always be near you.
And may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.”

[highnote]

From the movie "The Magic Christian" with Peter Sellers and Ringo Starr...

There once was a young lady from Exeter
and all the young men threw their sex at her.
Just to be rude,
she lay in the nude,
while her parrot, a pervert, took pecks at her.


Then there are the ones about the man from Nantucket and the guy from Peru. :D