Horseracing and Marriage/Kids

[sq764]

Question for all you married horseplayers with children:

Since i got married (last year), I have seen my handicapping time decline, as expected.. Understandably, the time commitments and financial commitments make the 'cutting down' quite needed.

There is talk in our house of going to the next step, of children. My question is, am I to expect my handicapping time to whittle away to almost nothing? At least for the youngster years?

Also, are there any tips into saving your sanity and keeping the precious time you have now to handicap and wager, even after a child has entered the picture??

Signed,
Dazed and Confused
(Scott)

[Gold Bay]

I can totally relate,its hard to get to the track with work ,soccer and all the family stuff.Its also difficult to sit in front of the puter all day watching the tote board.The wife also gets bored with TVG. I have found to pick my spots bet early in the day and go on with family life. I follow the Sartin betting strategy . Putting in my bets then moving on also helps me avoid the temptation of wasting money on flyers.

[cj]

Even with kids, you HAVE to make time to still do some of the things you love to do or you will be miserable...same with your wife. It doesn't mean you won't have less time, of course you will. But you need to have some hobbies. Which ones you give up or cut back are up to you.

Craig

Father of 3, all still at home

[so.cal.fan]

Scott:

I like what Suze Orman (the money advice lady) says:

People are first
Money is second
Things are third

Good rules. You can still be a weekend handicapper.
;)

[hdcper]

Scott,

I think this might answer it best!!!!



Mayonnaise Jar and Beer

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24-hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar...and the beer.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided,"I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things--your family, your children, your health, your friends, your favorite passions--things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else--the small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house, and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers."




Oh by the way, play another 18 should be replaced with playing the races!!!!

Hdcper

[sam i am]

I am very lucky my wife likes going to the track with me as long as we have "good seats" in the clubhouse, I have been happily married for 6+ years (proposed at breakfast at Saratoga travers day 1996)
have a wonderful 3yrs old daughter ( born Breeders cup day 2000). I think it is very important to spend as much quality time with my daughter at this time in her life and yes I only play seriously a couple of times a month (except for Saratoga) But I think you have to do what feels right.

Best of luck.
David

[sq764]

I think I am starting to 'get it' when it comes to finding time..

I have found that I can do my handicapping in due time, BUT, I must make the time..

For instance, I find the peaceful handicapping times to be:

10:30 PM - 1AM (After my wife crashes at 10:30)

7am - 10AM on Saturday morning (She wakes up at 10)..

And THE ENTIRE TIME she is out shopping or with her mother..

I am slowly learning this :-)

[VetScratch]

Sq764,

If TIME is your issue, here are the guidelines:
1) Choose your women with the aftermarket in mind. They must be sharp enough to attract good step-dads after you move on.
2) Set up each household with generous financial arrangements before you leave; don't let your lawyers turn you into a common weasle.
3) Use dark days and holidays to stay in touch with everyone. Be the host for holiday get-togethers, family reunions, winter vacations, etc.
4) Figure on spending at least $500K per child through age 21.

I got two great dads and lots of neat relatives this way... so go for it!

[lsbets]

First, while my wife was pregnant, I never had more time to do things I liked to do. She slept constantly, it was great. I am very lucky, my wife loves horses, loves going to the track, and loves TVG. We took my son to the track for the first time when he was 2 weeks old on Mothers Day 2002. He loves it there, and now he tries to ride the dogs at home. To us, horse racing is a family event, and my wife doesn't mind when I jump on the computer to handicap. I consider myself to be very, very fortunate. My son was dancing to the music in between races on TVG tonight, and fell asleep watching MNR. I personally have had no conflicts with family.

[sq764]

Isbets, I think I speak for many of us when I say I hate you so much.

:-)

[witchdoctor]

I also don't get to the track as often as I like. I talked my wife into buying a racehorse. Now she is dragging me to the track!

[JustMissed]

Have the little women get a second job to keep her occupied while you are at the track. The extra money might come if handy when you hit a losing streak.

Hire a baby sitter for the kids with your winnings(better yet, pawn them off on grandma and you'll have more to play on the pick- six). If you start losing, take them to the track with you and have them pick up throw away tickets. Make a game out of it and give them a dollar for every live ticket they find. This also gives them some life lessons as to the value of money.

In all cases, remember that you are a degenerate horseplayer and should conduct yourself as such.


Hope this helps,

JustMissed
;)

[JustRalph]

sq764

a bunch of things go away after kids.............think hard......

do you really want to do that..............thing......?


You could always opt for a divorce if LSBets wife has a sister?


Vet.....you are a hoot...............

[ranchwest]

I suggest searching for ways that will be shortcuts in your handicapping. The less time you spend preparing for the races, the more time you'll have for your family.

1) Let the computer work for you.
2) Listen to the "talking heads" at the track and on TV. Sometimes they disclose valuable information that even they ignore.
3) Pay attention to the "little things" that don't take much time to find. For instance, there was once a jockey that I could read based on what he did with a cigarette. It only took a second to know.
4) Whatever you can come up with.

[Valuist]

This one hits home for me; I just received full custody of my daughter about 3 weeks ago and have already changed my racetrack and wagering habits. Here's a few options:

1. Quit altogether. Not a good option but you can always come back to it when you have more time.

2. Do racing only a portion of the year. Unless you are a professional handicapper, if you work full time you can't devote all the time necessary all year long to beat the game.

3. Concentrate on a few tournaments and limit yourself to tourney play.

4. Stay in the game but instead of spending an entire Saturday or Sunday at the track or OTB, just go in, make your bets and go home.

5. The other option is TVG and wagering at home but that may not be a good option if you have a spouse who doesn't like racing. Its also too easy to make wagers and you may find yourself spending as much time on it as if you were at the track.

I'm still undecided what I'm going to do. I'm playing somewhat regularly until Hawthorne ends then I will take time off. I may just concentrate on contests like the Gold Coast and/or the Orleans tourneys.

[sq764]

Has anyone tried the method of saying “Ok, I used to play 4-5 nights a week, but make you a deal.. I will only handicap and wager on Wednesday nights and Saturday nights, and the other times will only be when you are not home or are asleep”

BUT on those Wed and Sat nights, they are your nights and she’ll respect that??

(I might try this)

[Dave Schwartz]

Valuist,

Congratulations on taking the prime responsibility for your daughter! I did the same thing when my ex-wife and I divorced years ago.

You will have challenges, but they will be worth it.

Best Regards,
Dave Schwartz

[Valuist]

Thanks Dave. It is a definite change. The leiusure time has been cut significantly but that's ok. There will be plenty of time down the line for that.

[sq764]

.... Am I seeing a pattern between handicappers and divorced men :-)

Seems like every other person I talk to that loves horseracing is single, divorced, or in the process of getting divorced..

Is it just coincidence?

[Dave Schwartz]

...and I just thought of something...

Valuist - you are male, right?


Dave

[alysheba88]

I am married with a 4 year old so thought I would chime in.

Certainly your play will (and should) be less now then before. I used to go to the track every week and sometimes twice a week. Now its more like twice a month. Sometimes three times a month in the summer.

I am fortunate in that my in laws want our daughter to come by alot on the weekends, and I dont necessarily have to be there. So I have been able to manage. As others have said its important for married people to have their own hobbies and interests whether it be horse racing or something else.

I do find I spend more time with my daughter on days before i go to the track. For example if I plan on going on a saturday I will do something special with her on a Thursday or Friday (or Sunday).

Another key point is NEVER EVER let gambling interfere adversely with your finances. Meaning you dont not do something later with your family because you had a losing day at the track. Many times i will bring home a take out dinner after my days at the track. I get them win or lose.

There is nothing wrong with taking 4-5 hours for yourself on your hobby.

As far as time spent handicapping I dont think its a problem. For example, I usually spend three hours going over a card. Will wait until 10pm on Friday and do it then.

[Valuist]

Yes, male. And like Alysheba mentioned, also divorced.

[alysheba88]

Im not divorced.

[andicap]

A big problem in my life.

You must make sacrifices in other areas, say like giving up much of your television or whatever else you like to do. My biggest problem is fidning time to work on the races, exercise, and do the little things around the house that need to be done when I get home from work.

I am trying to get into a routine. I get home between 7:45 and 8:30 p.m. most nights and my daughter is in bed by 8-8:30, but wants to play with me for at least 30 minutes. OK, figure my kid through 9 p.m., do the bike for 30 minutes and eat til 10 p.m. 20 minutes cleaning up, housekeeping stuff, going through mail, pikcing up dirty clothes, etc.
15 minutes downloading and printing out next day's card.
that's 10:40 p.m. Take 10 minutes to prep for bed and If I can stay up until 12:30 p.m. I'll have 90 minutes to work on racing.
I also use the 30 minute train ride on the way home for record-keeping, etc.

Weekends are impossible -- unless you can bet off the ML you're lucky to get the occasional day to go to OTB or the track. I can stay home and play with my daughter, but it's hard to constantly watch TVG, make bets, and watch her
tho it gets easy the older she gets.
Setting up playdates for weekends with her friends is a life-saver.

Kids change everything -- I now see about 4 movies a year and I used to see 4 movies a month.
But it's the best thing that ever happened to me and wouldn't change anything for the world.

[JustMissed]

Hey, we used to talk about gambling-winning money-now we read a guy's daily schedule including when he does his laundry.

Give us a break with this touchy, feely crap.

If you can't organize your personal life maybe you ought to get on the Dr. Phil show.

JustMissed

[Dave Schwartz]

JustMissed,

LOL - So, you don't want to get in touch with your feelings of hostility here? How do you get along with your mother? <G>


Dave

[wes]

Don't be to harsh on the young fellow. We all have to have a little experience. I had my experience many years ago.
Just remember that grandchildren are the results of the teenagers that you let live.

wes

[sq764]

Hey Justmissed,

You married?
Kids?

[JustMissed]

Originally posted by sq764
Hey Justmissed,

You married?
Kids?

Just celebrated my 30th wedding anniversary in August. My grown son is an avid horseplayer.


JustMissed





:)

[superfecta]

Originally posted by JustMissed
Hey, we used to talk about gambling-winning money-now we read a guy's daily schedule including when he does his laundry.

Give us a break with this touchy, feely crap.

If you can't organize your personal life maybe you ought to get on the Dr. Phil show.

JustMissed I too am a single parent of a teenager(stepson)and a 6 year old.Wouldn't have it any other way.It does seem to have cut down on the handicapping,but the hugs make up for the lost betting time.I had to smile when i read that Dr.Phil line.My youngest son saw a Dr. Phil commercial and said"hey dad there's Dr. Phil,Grandma watches Dr.Phil."after a short pause he added"you know what dad?Dr. Phil sucks"
Course I shouldn't be too surprised,when he was 4 he heard Rush for the first time and asked me "Dad,whats wrong with that radio guy?"Guess it was obvious to the less jaded....

[sq764]

For the divorced parents out there..

Did horseracing have ANYTHING to do with you getting divorced?

[ranchwest]

Originally posted by sq764
For the divorced parents out there..

Did horseracing have ANYTHING to do with you getting divorced?

Which time? :) My main problem was that the last time I heard my ex's say "I do" was at the alter, after that every sentence started with "I don't....". Uh, I'm married again.

I think a significant factor with a wife is discussing the leisure time both of you need and coming to an agreement. I find it difficult to concentrate on handicapping if I know my wife is tapping her foot (literally or figuratively).

You need time with the kids, the family, parents together without the kids and time alone.

[superfecta]

Originally posted by sq764
For the divorced parents out there..

Did horseracing have ANYTHING to do with you getting divorced? Yes ,it gave her a reason to blame me for the problems.Always complained about me gambling,so thats why she drank and partied.But when I wanted to stay home with her and the kids,well then it was she needed some free time for herself.Or she would wonder why we didn't have extra spending money that month and be pissed that I didn't go and win some.After buying her five cars,burying both her parents and the birth of her son,all with proceeds from the track,I guess it was the problem wasn't it?:rolleyes:

[Light]

I know some players who could not and still do not control their gambling leading to irresponsility with their families and eventual ruin and divorce. Others include drugs in the scenario to make matters worse.

For myself I have struggled with my wife who IMO has an unreasonable intolerance for gamblers and looks upon all of them as lowlifes. True, some of them are but many can handle themselves and know when to stop and not lose the rent money and take care of business first.

I used to share my experiences at the track with her,till I found out she kept a strong negative ill attitute about me when I lost,but a "hey handsome" attitute towards me when I won.(like Dr.Jekyll and Mr. Hyde).So for the sake of getting along,I won't divulge much to her anymore,including when I win.But when she finds out about it thru my kids,I am expected to pay for extras we can suddenly afford(temporarily),like a vacation. Can't win either way.

[Topcat]

I have a great wife, 4 young kids, a busy professional career that requires flying out of state, I coach my kids teams, and do about 10 hours of church/volunteer work a month so I know the challenge but let me assure you it is a good one.


I’ve got a couple of tips:
The first thing you do is get a good phone betting account. You will be going to the track less but you’re not going to miss much. Also if you are not using software to handicap you need to consider it.

The second thing I did was stop watching TV-if I see 3 hours a month it is a lot. I pick up time there and TV is not missed, most of it is just horse manure. I can get my news quicker from the Internet. You can pick up some time here.

On the handicapping: it does require you to pick your spots and incorporate a Mark Cramer concept of dollars per hour handicapping. Betting morning line is an option and to my surprise you don’t' miss that much-sort of a random walk among overlays.

You've already touched on timing-you need to handicap when you can-mine tends to be the wee hours of the night.

And yes, the family can occasionally go out to the track some tracks are more family friendly than others.-although this scenario is probably not optimal for betting.

All-in- all the trade off is well worth it. I've never heard anyone say that they wish they had spent more time at the track but I have heard plenty of people say they wish they had spent more time with their family.

Let' put it this way: Family: Overlay
Going to the track: Underlay

Good luck and good handicapping

[VetScratch]

SQ764,
Did horseracing have ANYTHING to do with you getting divorced?I can only respond with an observation. On the coldest days when gloves, scarves, and hoods are appropriate, I have suddenly become the tallest player at my favorite OTB when a wife and toddlers come through the door!

[Dave Schwartz]

VS,

Okay. You've got me on this one.

COuld you explain it to me real slow? What does that post mean?


Dave

[VetScratch]

Dave,
Many of the guys duck and bury their heads in the form... moreso on the coldest days when wives and kids are all bundled up.

About the same circumstances that prompt a good bartender to ask who wants to be present before he/she answers the phone.

[VetScratch]

I think most "devout" horseplayers have been asked, "Who do you love more, me or the horses?"

My reply has always been, "Honey, ask about passionate love, because then it's definitely you; but about unconditional love, you don't want to know the answer!" :D :D

[cato]

I'm always bafled with this issue. Husbands and wives need to have hobbies, interests, etc., some of which are shared and some of which are separate. As long as the horse racing spouse fulfills his/her part of the marriage bargain of sharing a life together, mutual support, love, trust, etc., and they are not losing the rent/food money, it shouldn't make any difference if the spouse's hobby is astronomy, golf or the races. (and there is the time management issue)

On the other hand I have seen many spouse's who just want to exert control over the situation, and tend to throw a fit about racing (and in many cases any other hobby that shows any level of independence of commitment), in which case the other spouse should exit stage right as soon as possible.

Cheers,

Cato, who is lucky enough to have a wife who understands my interest in handicapping and actually plays along occasionally

[JustRalph]

Originally posted by Topcat
I have a great wife, 4 young kids, a busy professional career that requires flying out of state, I coach my kids teams, and do about 10 hours of church/volunteer work a month so I know the challenge but let me assure you it is a good one.


I thought Mother Teresa was dead.......... I hope you have tons of life insurance and never get sick.......... can you say AFLAC! (insert Duck with Gilbert Godfried's voice, here)

[sq764]

VS, I have been asked about what I love more my wife or the horses a lot in the past 6 years.

Simple; "When you can run 6 furlongs in 1:08, we'll talk.. until then.."

[JimG]

The following assumes you are handicapping/playing the races no more or less prior to being married than you are now:

If you are winning at the races and adding income to the family and the wife and you are bickering about time spent at the races, then you are probably in a bad marriage for you.

If you are losing at the races, then the wife has a beef in my opinion. You are taking money away from potential savings that can be used for vacations, things for the both of you. Now if you had agreed to set a budget for gambling (say $300 a month...the equivalent of rougly 4 rounds of golf a month at a nice club) and do not go over that budget then that is personal recreation. The wife has a right to expect $300 a month for herself for personal recreation as well. If that is not happening then the spouse has every right to be upset.

Jim

[Topcat]

Originally posted by JustRalph
I thought Mother Teresa was dead.......... I hope you have tons of life insurance and never get sick.......... can you say AFLAC! (insert Duck with Gilbert Godfried's voice, here)

I'd respond but I don't think I have time <g>

[Valuist]

I naively believed my ex-wife would "come around" and accept it. After all, I was doing well at the track and eventually she'd see it my way. Didn't happen that way. I found myself lying about where I was (I always used to tell her I had to go to the bank on Saturdays or to the supermarket). I didn't live too far from the track so I'd go in, make bets, get out, run to my car and go home. During the week, I'd get up early, make bets at early bird, then drive to work. Only problem was there was no racing in January and the first 2-3 weeks of February. I couldn't just change my routine and leave for work 30-40 minutes later. So I'd leave the same time then hang out at McDonald's for awhile or just go into work early so I didn't look suspicious. Eventually I had a few signers that I couldn't find a 10%er for so I just signed myself. Come tax time, she just exploded. And this was from a woman who smoked and drank way too much. Who the hell was she to be Miss Morals about gambling? Funny thing was, I got my lies down so good, I started to believe them. No doubt in my mind I could've passed a lie decector test. Like George Constanza says, "Jerry, its not a lie if YOU believe it." After I got divorced I made up my mind I'd tell a woman early on that if she had a problem with gambling, that things would not work out. I almost got re-married two years ago to a woman who claimed she was understanding about it (gambling) but she ended up becoming Born-again and ended up becoming anti-gambling. My girlfriend now tolerates it, which is about as good as one can expect.

BTW, good luck w/your marriage.

[MV McKee]

I kind of have a wife/horseplayer issue upcoming.

Once a month my wife and I spend the weekend at a hotel in Portland (we live in the country @ 15 miles outside the city).
We go to the races Saturday and Sunday.
She generally seems to enjoy this, but comments the one thing she does not really enjoy is the "company" of some of the more typical turf club denizens.
She kind of enjoys what I would call "handicapping lite", and does not have as much fun when any and all conversations revolve around the races.

Well, a couple weeks ago we entered our first Portland Meadows handicapping contest that was also an NTRA NHC qualifier. For obvious strategic reasons I submitted 2 entries. Because PM only allows one entry per name, one entry was in my name, the other in my wife's name. The arrangement works quite well. My wife kept track of all the payoff, tickets used/remaining information, and ran the tickets to the contest desk, which left me free to do the handicapping and determine which selections to use on which tickets.

Well, long story short, the entry in my wife's name won the contest in a runaway, and now she is entered into the NTRA NHC.
If this experience, or should I call it 2 day immersion into a pool swimming with hardcore handicappers does not alienate her I will consider myself lucky.
As it is, we are trying to devise a way to communicate during the contest. As I understand it, only official quaifiers are allowed in the contest area, at the receptions, etc.. Should be an interesting 3 days.

[trying2win]

--Really interesting thread here. It would be impertinent for me to give advice here, because SQ asked for opinions from married people.

--But, even some of the single, divorced PA members have given good advice here.

--For SACP bachelors like me, it's also been a challenge at times for finding time to play the horse races, spend quality time with the girlfriend, go to work, do chores etc.

-If you're a CP or SACP bachelor, you're going to get dumped eventually by a lot of girlfriends. Then you've got more time to play the races until you get interested in another gal. When you retire, you'll have more time to play the races too.

--Okay, you're probably wondering what a CP or a SACP bachelor is. CP stands for a commitment-phobic. SACP is a self-admitted commitment-phobic . In either case, they are those neurotic, single fellas that don't want to commit to getting married to their girlfriend. Why? Because they're more afraid of what they're GOING TO LOSE by getting married, than by what they're GOING TO GAIN! (i.e. losing their money, losing their freedom etc). These fellas like to be FOOTLOOSE AND FINANCEE-FREE. Don't forget, there are some commitment-phobic women out there too, complaining that they can't find a suitable husband.

--I suspect even some divorced persons can become commitment-phobic after awhile too.

--And no, I don't need to go see Dr. Phil. I'm quite content being single, retired now, and it's great having more time to play the races. It's still nice to have a girlfriend though, especially if they are understanding, and enjoy the sport of horse racing too.

--I don't know how many female PA members there are, but it would be interesting to read more of their comments on his thread as well.


Thanks,

Trying2win

[Dave Schwartz]

T2W,

Your post reminds me of something that my wife said to me just the other day when I took a whole day off to play the races. (I should add that I hadn't shaved and looked a bit seedy.)

Anyway, she said, "You're lucky you've got a wife."

What do you suppose she meant by that?


Seriously, I am probably one of the only guys on the planet whose wife says, "When will you be going to the window more often?"


Dave

[sq764]

T2Win, glad you explained.. I thought SACP was Single Aduit Cappin' Person

[sq764]

My dog and my wife are the same in one big way.. Any dog owner knows the instance that you open a bag of chips, doritos, etc.. your dog will come running. He could be 6 houses up the street and he would hear it.

The same applies to my wife when I have a very profitable night at the track. It's like she can hear my car pulling into the neighborhood and THEN she's interested in my night.

When I lose I am just another degenerate pig.

[takeout]

Originally posted by trying2win
Because they're more afraid of what they're GOING TO LOSE by getting married, than by what they're GOING TO GAIN!
Yet another example of risk versus reward. :D

[VetScratch]

To The Guys:

Have a pal video tape your face when a head bob will make or break your day at the wire. Practice that expression sequence in front of a mirror. Use it to good advantage with your wife. How simple!

[so.cal.fan]

Trying2Win:

Very interesting comments by you!
>"Okay, you're probably wondering what a CP or a SACP bachelor is. CP stands for a commitment-phobic. SACP is a self-admitted commitment-phobic . In either case, they are those neurotic, single fellas that don't want to commit to getting married to their girlfriend. Why? Because they're more afraid of what they're GOING TO LOSE by getting married, than by what they're GOING TO GAIN! (i.e. losing their money, losing their freedom etc). These fellas like to be FOOTLOOSE AND FINANCEE-FREE. Don't forget, there are some commitment-phobic women out there too, complaining that they can't find a suitable husband". <

Gosh, nearly every single person I know over the age of 30, male or female fits into this CP group! Interesting!
So. Calif. is full of these people......in fact in the town I live in, I believe they are in the MAJORITY of the population.

[JustRalph]

after 17 yrs the wife still lets me do whatever I want......no kids was part of "whatever I want" and most of the time she is paying for whatever I want........lately anyway.

Back when I was a cop around county fair time we used SACP too......stupid ass carnival people.............


:cool:

[CumberlandBluesHSH]

I guess I count myself in with the lucky group here, but frankly I don't understand why/how this is an issue. I wouldn't have married someone who wouldn't tolerate my playing the horses. She knows I love her...and she knows I loved the Red Sox and playin' the horses long before I met her. She knows I would love to make the leap to playing the horses full time - and she's 100% supportive of the endeavor....she views software/data purchases (and losing months) as professional development expenses....no different than the money we spent putting her through grad school.

And yeah, marrying someone who is even less interested in having kids than I am is probably a big help too, frees up a lot more time & money for stuff like this.

[Dave Schwartz]

I actually sent this privately to SQ but just can't resist posting it here as well.

He said: "My dog and my wife are the same in one big way.. "

I just have to tell you that I could never permit anyone to get the goods on me like that.

Send you $50 per week to keep quiet? Deed over the house? Power of attorney?

LOL - I don't care if my wife looked like a cocker spaniel (she doesn't - had to add that). I could never say that... and live. She'd find out.


Dave

[Dan Montilion]

This is a very easy one...

Get hitched to a mutuel clerk. Kids? Snip, Snip. Case closed.

Dan (SCAP) Montilion

[sq764]

Dave, 50 a week??

Would that even cover one month of HSH data??? :-)

[trying2win]

Thanks for the replies to my post on this topic. Some were very humorous.

--Bit of irony---Well-known relationship experts John Gray and Barbara DeAngelis, were once married to each other. I wonder who they were thinking of consulting for advice, when they were having marital problems? ....hmm.


SO CAL FAN,

--With so many possible single, commitment-phobics living in your area, it's a wonder nobody's started an online dating service for these people. The provider might make a small fortune!


I recall reading a couple of jokes about single people, and also about married people.

1. There are two cars, side-by-side at a drive-in theatre. One car contains a single man and his girlfriend, the other a married man and his wife. How can you tell which car contains the married man?

Answer: -- He's the one who gets out of the car, and cleans the windshield before the movie starts!

(NOTE: --I guess the above joke might be out of vogue now-a-days. In our city, most, if not all the old drive-in theatres have been torn down.)

2. You can tell the honeymoon's over when the wife barks at you, and the dog brings you the slippers!



Thanks,

Trying2win

[Niko]

Ranchwest, I think I laughed a little to hard on the I do, I don't. Just had a conversation similar to that about a few issues with a couple friends at work yesterday.
I've only been married a short time so I can speak from just going through the transition. The year I got married I had my worst year ever at the track. I couldn't sit in front of the computer or at the track all day Saturday to handicap, watch odds, watch the horses etc. Be careful at this time if you start losing.
I learned to adjust. I handicap early in the morning or at night. I bought a simple database to do the calculations for me which saved a ton of time (hint, by a program if possible) and I place my bets early and hope I'm going to get the overlays I want. I miss some price plays but in the end it's worth. I've seen friends/ co-workers who didn't make their wife/family a priority and it cost them. They changed their ways in their second marriage.
I go to the track 1 or 2 saturdays a month to support my hobby (if your wife doesn't give you that much time for a hobby you've got a problem that won't go away unless she does) and advance bet the rest of the time. Luckily she likes live racing so we go a little more in the summer and invite some friends to occupy her most days.
Jim G brought up probably the most important point. Set up a budget for your hobby based on what you can afford that your wife agrees with. That's what I did with my wife. She was concerned about it and so was her "dear" mother. I have a seperate account and never dip into our main checking account. I've been lucky as I am playing on my original money and the only thing we take out of our checking account is about $40 monthly data costs (less than her haircuts/makeup etc!).
Now I'll be having my first child next year. Should be another interesting transition that I'm looking forward to. She already knows I'm buying a baby holder because the baby's coming to the track with me when I'm babysitting!
My friends and her family just shake their head and laugh. Someones got to be the deviant in the family

[Dave Schwartz]

SQ,

You said: "Dave, 50 a week??

Would that even cover one month of HSH data??? :-)"
++++
Well, I am sorry but you do not qualify to be an HSH user. There are some basic math skills required. <G>


Dave

[so.cal.fan]

My husband supports me. He has for nearly 40 years.
Women should be happy their husbands are interested in racing and go to the track. The last time I looked, there ain't too many woman hanging out at racetracks.
Look, if a man tries hard to win, does his best, he isn't going to lose much money, not like other hobbies would cost.
My husband can do anything he damn well pleases.
He likes to go to Las Vegas 3 or 4 times a year to play poker. He usually wins, because he is a good player....however, even if he didn't win....so what? The man works hard all year for us.....he deserves to do something he enjoys.
I'm sure all you men on this board, if you have a nice hit, you're more than happy to share some of the winnings with your wife, girlfriend, kids or even your friends.
Good luck to you all!;)

[sq764]

Well Dave, that's certainly the some outstanding customer service on your part. Insulting your potential customers.

I guess I got my answer as to what seperates HSH from the rest..

[Dave Schwartz]

SQ,

LOL - Ah, so you can dish it out but can't take it, huh?


Dave

[sq764]

I am not the one selling a product, or trying to.. You are.

[Dave Schwartz]

Aren't you in the wrong thread here?

You took the $50 per week joke, (and I made it perfectly clear it was meant as humor) and applied it to the sale/use of my program.

Then I chose to see humor in your post and answered in kind.

Now you say you've been insulted. Further, you imply that it is okay for the POTENTIAL customer to be insulting.

I think you have misjudged my efforts in this matter.


Dave Schwartz

[sq764]

Referencing the price of the HSH data files is insulting??

Sorry, I didn't set the price for those. If you find any reference to the price insulting, that's on you.

[VetScratch]

Ahah! I thought I smelled sulfuric fumes emanating from this thread...

...for a moment I assumed that I must have spilled some of my own perfume here earlier. :)

[Dave Schwartz]

SQ,

I am not playing. Have a nice day.

[sq764]

Dave, I was unaware I offered..

Anyway, this is getting off the thread.

I will say I am impressed with the number of opinions on this subject and honestly, they've been very helpful.

I took a little bit from everyone's post andhope I can formulate it into a workable solution if/when we have children.

[lsbets]

Okay, I've been away in Ft Jackson for a few days since my post in this thread, but I want to add my 2 cents again.

My wife's sisters are married, so sorry guys, but they are both crazy anyway, I got the good one.

Someone said something along these lines, and I think it is a good way to do it. Get a horse. Get into the cheapest partnership you can find as an initial entry, so your wife can learn what horseracing is all about. Or, get a good claiming trainer and claim on the low end. That has worked for me, I did both.

This afternoon, my wife is in the kitchen making desert for 40 people tonight. We are having a progressive dinner in our neighborhood. I went to the supermarket really early and did the shopping for her, and now I am playing CRC and FG on brisbet and watching the races with my son. He sits on a big stuffed horse and bounces up and down, and claps when they come down the stretch. I love my life!

[Dave Schwartz]

SQ,

Thanks for the reply. A good place to end it.

Regards,
Dave Schwartz

[Storm Cadet]

Stick a fork in your horse playing days...they're DONE!!!

[CryingForTheHorses]

Originally posted by witchdoctor
I also don't get to the track as often as I like. I talked my wife into buying a racehorse. Now she is dragging me to the track!

WitchDoctor

There is nothing more to love then owning a racehorse with your wife, What a great feeling I get when I watch Lisa ride our horse and then having them win for her! .Takes a very special bond between a man and a woman like us who are with each other 24/7.Both parties must love it or there will be conflict for sure. SQ I have some small advice for you: Never quit courtin your wife, And she will never quit courting you.
Good Luck

[JustRalph]

Originally posted by McSchell_Racing
Never quit courtin your wife, And she will never quit courting you. Good Luck

And Don't forget to Visit the Cement Pond With Her either! :D

[BigJake]

CJ

I noticed the original post was almost a year ago. Is there any luck on adding to the family?

I think I am hung in an odd situation. I didn't start handicapping until after I was married. I have always played cards and bet on football with my buddies, but my wife didn't really take to me spending a couple of hours on handicapping races. My gambling before we were married didn't take any time it was either "guys night out" or a small bet on my favorite team done in passing but before we were married I never took a lot of time to choose. She dosen't like for me to spend lots of time at the track, but see tolerates TVG because I am at home with her even though I am doing what I enjoy. I grew up in the bible belt. I still have some uneasy feelings about taking my family to the track. Because of the way I was raised, the track is shady. The male members of my family go to the track twice a year (Keenland fall and spring), but I still don't feel comfortable taking my kids there. I would like to here some opinions on this. I think it will have a lot to do with the region people grow up.

Big Jake