Humor

[Casino]

2 minor league pitchers are sitting in the dugout talking about whether there was baseball in heaven after death..

They made a promise to each other whoever passes away first will come back and tell the other whether they play baseball in heaven..

Well a year later one of them passed away and like promise came back to tell the other about baseball in heaven...

He said to him" i have good news and bad news which do you want first?"

"Give me the good news first."

"Yes they play baseball in heaven"

'What can possibly be the bad news"

"Your scheduled to pitch next week" :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Actor]

It's an old joke. When I first heard it it was a man and wife and it was sex, not baseball.

[HUSKER55]

maybe it is an old joke but it is still funny :D

[thaskalos]

I was watching a Cubs game on TV years ago...when Harry Caray and Steve Stone were in the announcer's booth.

A Cubs reliever comes into the game, and gives up a line drive base hit on the first pitch he throws in the game. His second pitch is a screaming double off the wall. His third pitch is a line drive foul ball...and his next pitch is a double down the third base line.

"Holy cow Steve", Harry Caray gasps..."he can't get anybody out."

When the next batter gets a base hit too, also on the first pitch, the Cubs pitching coach goes out to the mound...and asks the catcher to come to the mound as well.

"What do you think they are talking about Steve"...Harry Caray asks.

"Well Harry...the coach is probably asking the pitcher how he feels"...Steve Stone replies.

HARRY..."And what does the coach need the catcher for?"

STEVE..."Harry...to find out what kind of stuff the pitcher has..."

HARRY..."How would the catcher know; he hasn't caught a pitch yet..."

[Casino]

I was watching a Cubs game on TV years ago...when Harry Caray and Steve Stone were in the announcer's booth.

A Cubs reliever comes into the game, and gives up a line drive base hit on the first pitch he throws in the game. His second pitch is a screaming double off the wall. His third pitch is a line drive foul ball...and his next pitch is a double down the third base line.

"Holy cow Steve", Harry Caray gasps..."he can't get anybody out."

When the next batter gets a base hit too, also on the first pitch, the Cubs pitching coach goes out to the mound...and asks the catcher to come to the mound as well.

"What do you think they are talking about Steve"...Harry Caray asks.

"Well Harry...the coach is probably asking the pitcher how he feels"...Steve Stone replies.

HARRY..."And what does the coach need the catcher for?"

STEVE..."Harry...to find out what kind of stuff the pitcher has..."

HARRY..."How would the catcher know; he hasn't caught a pitch yet..."

Any idea where the saying " thats person is way out in left fied"

[wisconsin]

I don't know where that saying came from, but I do recall a story about a visitor from Brazil who went to a World Series game.

The game was sold-out, so he had to climb a flag pole to watch the game. He was very appreciative and warmed by the fans who, before the first pitch, all stood and looked up and asked: "Jose, can you see?"

[Casino]

I don't know where that saying came from, but I do recall a story about a visitor from Brazil who went to a World Series game.

The game was sold-out, so he had to climb a flag pole to watch the game. He was very appreciative and warmed by the fans who, before the first pitch, all stood and looked up and asked: "Jose, can you see?"

There was a mental hospital located behind left field at wrigley.

[HuggingTheRail]

A programmer and an engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The engineer is trying to get some sleep when the programmer says "Hey I know a fun game - do you want to play?" The engineer politely declines and closes his eyes to go to sleep.
The programmer persists and says "It's a really fun game! I ask you a question and if you can't answer you give me $5, then you ask me a question and if I can't answer I give you $5!"

The engineer politely declines again and tries to go to sleep. Feeling agitated - the programmer says "Fine! Tell you what - If you can't answer the question you give me $5, and if I can't answer then I'll give you $50"

This catches the engineers attention, he sits up and the programmer says "Great, ok me first - what's the distance of the earth from the moon?"

The engineer doesn't say a word, just reaches into his pocket pulls out $5 and hands it to the programmer. The programmer says "Awesome! now it's your turn!"

The engineer says "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down the hill with four?"
The programmer looks at him puzzled. He takes out his laptop and searches all of this references. He taps into the airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends an email to co-workers...all to no avail.

About an hour later he wakes the engineer and hands him $50. The engineer politely takes the $50 and turns away to try and get back to sleep.

The programmer, more than a little miffed, shakes the engineer and asks "Well, so what's the answer?"
Without a word, the engineer reaches into his pocket, hands the programmer $5, and turns away to get back to sleep.

[Actor]

A liberal and a conservative are in a car accident. Seeming none the worse for wear they both go into a bar, order drinks and watch the election results on TV. Obama is re-elected by a landslide. The democrats win every seat in the House of Representatives and a 67 vote majority in the Senate.

"I don't believe it," says the conservative.

"It does seem too good to be true," says the liberal.

"There's got to be an explanation," says the conservative, "the polls couldn't be that far off."

After a few moments of silence the liberal speaks up.

"The only thing I can think of," he says, "is that we were both killed in the accident. Now I'm in heaven and you're in hell."

[Actor]

A liberal and a conservative are in a car accident. Seeming none the worse for wear they both go into a bar, order drinks and watch the election results on TV. Obama is re-elected by a landslide. The democrats win every seat in the House of Representatives and a 67 vote majority in the Senate.

"I don't believe it," says the conservative.

"It does seem too good to be true," says the liberal.

"There's got to be an explanation," says the conservative, "the polls couldn't be that far off."

After a few moments of silence the liberal speaks up.

"The only thing I can think of," he says, "is that we were both killed in the accident. Now I'm in heaven and you're in hell."

As originally told the liberal was the school nerd, the conservative was the prom queen, the accident was a school bus accident, and instead of going to a bar they woke up in bed together.