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View Full Version : Humor! The Woman Poem vs the Man Poem.

andymays
09-13-2011, 03:34 PM
THE WOMAN POEM


Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man who's not a creep.

One who's handsome, smart, and strong. One who loves to listen long.


One who thinks before he speaks. One who'll call, not wait for weeks.


I pray he's rich and self-employed, And when I spend, won't be annoyed.


Pull out my chair and hold my hand. Massage my feet and help me stand.


Oh, send a king to make me queen. A man who loves to cook and clean.


I pray this man will love no other. And relish visits with my mother.


THE MAN POEM


I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with big t*ts who owns a bar on a golf course, and loves to send me fishing and drinking.


This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.
DJofSD
09-13-2011, 05:02 PM
Oh oh, Andy. GRITS is gonna getcha for posting that!
andymays
09-13-2011, 08:22 PM
Oh oh, Andy. GRITS is gonna getcha for posting that!

If anyone is offended by it then the thread should be deleted.
bigmack
09-13-2011, 08:31 PM
http://www.gifbin.com/bin/1232109629_the%20evolution%20of%20man%20and%20woma n.gif
Greyfox
09-13-2011, 09:12 PM
If anyone is offended by it then the thread should be deleted.

If it's going to be deleted I'll give you this one from grade school. I heard it a zillion years ago.:rolleyes:

The Girl Poem

Two and two is four,
Four and five is nine,
I know how long yours is,
You don't know how deep is mine.

The Boy Poem

Two and two is four,
Four and five is nine,
I can pee in yours,
You can't pee in mine.
Grits
09-13-2011, 09:24 PM
Oh oh, Andy. GRITS is gonna getcha for posting that!

Don't think so . . . . laughing like crazy. Absolutely hilarious. :lol:

There are many women that say this prayer every night. Bless their hearts.
andymays
09-13-2011, 09:52 PM
http://www.gifbin.com/bin/1232109629_the%20evolution%20of%20man%20and%20woma n.gif

Can't see the image.
Dave Schwartz
09-13-2011, 11:11 PM
My wife says, "Stand back, girls! He's all mine!"

Grits, what do you suppose she means by that?
Grits
09-14-2011, 04:16 PM
My wife says, "Stand back, girls! He's all mine!"

Grits, what do you suppose she means by that?

Simple answer.

Beth knows she has a good man. :ThmbUp:
Dave Schwartz
09-14-2011, 05:59 PM
And, boys, if my charm will work on Grits, it will work on anybody.
Greyfox
09-14-2011, 07:09 PM
My wife says, "Stand back, girls! He's all mine!"

Grits, what do you suppose she means by that?

Your wife wasn't saying what you think she was saying.
She said:
"Stand back, girls! He's all mine!"
What she meant was:
"Stand back girls! He's fallen in the coal bin again!"
Grits
09-14-2011, 08:00 PM
And, boys, if my charm will work on Grits, it will work on anybody.

I beg your pardon. Go to the gallery--I'm a sweetheart as you can see. (The little dustups here, (I love PA's word for these,) over and done in a flash. Yesterday's news. 99% of the time.)

This kissy face smiley below, she looks like a painted up hooker. PA's gotta find another one.:faint:

XOXO:kiss: MMMWWAAHHH:kiss: XOXO
DJofSD
09-15-2011, 12:09 AM
And, boys, if my charm will work on Grits, it will work on anybody.
(cough cough gag choke gurgle) Really? :)
Dave Schwartz
09-15-2011, 12:14 AM
I beg your pardon. Go to the gallery--I'm a sweetheart as you can see.

Well, what I meant is that it is tough to put one over on you very easily.
DJofSD
09-16-2011, 10:52 AM
From: http://www.yesterdaysisland.com/limerick/limerick.php

Let’s be clear on Miss Nan and her mate,
The bucket of cash sealed her fate,
Though her motives were pure,
And the good life seemed sure,
‘Twas a community property state.

Sorry if you were expected something more ribald. That one is posted on the Wikipedia page for this limerick.