keilan
11-12-2003, 03:46 PM
1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a
role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I
wan' all the kids to copulate me."
2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about
the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500
yards,whichever comes first."
3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say:
"I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl, "Matt Millen of
the Raiders said: "To win,I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."
4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his
coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear
earrings."
5. Football commentator and former player Joe
Theismann, 1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A
genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
6. Senior basketball player at the University of
Pittsburgh: "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it
takes." (now that is beautiful)
7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You
guys line up alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up
in groups of three, and then line up in a circle."
8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to
prison: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went
to prison for three years, not Princeton."
9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing,
explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker:
"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my
clothes."
10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan
training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who
gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it
is."
11! . Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball
player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared
nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't
know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." (I wonder if his IQ
ever hit room temperature in January)
12. Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former
player: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance
or apathy? He said, 'Coach,I don't know and I don't care.'"
13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M,
recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D:
"Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one
subject."
14. Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips
when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road
trips, Phillips responded: "Because she is too damn ugly to
kiss good-bye."
role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I
wan' all the kids to copulate me."
2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about
the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500
yards,whichever comes first."
3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say:
"I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl, "Matt Millen of
the Raiders said: "To win,I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."
4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his
coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear
earrings."
5. Football commentator and former player Joe
Theismann, 1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A
genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
6. Senior basketball player at the University of
Pittsburgh: "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it
takes." (now that is beautiful)
7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You
guys line up alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up
in groups of three, and then line up in a circle."
8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to
prison: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went
to prison for three years, not Princeton."
9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing,
explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker:
"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my
clothes."
10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan
training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who
gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it
is."
11! . Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball
player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared
nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't
know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." (I wonder if his IQ
ever hit room temperature in January)
12. Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former
player: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance
or apathy? He said, 'Coach,I don't know and I don't care.'"
13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M,
recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D:
"Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one
subject."
14. Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips
when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road
trips, Phillips responded: "Because she is too damn ugly to
kiss good-bye."