Modern Conservativeism

[ljb]

Dick,
You have done an excellent job of trying to define a liberal, perhaps you could help me with the definition of a modern conservative.
As near as I can tell, to be a conservative:

You have to believe the AIDS virus is God's way of punishing sexual deviates and drug addicts.
(Rush Limbaugh's addiction brings us to the next item)

You have to have the uncanny ability to completely dis-regard any facts that disprove your ingrained beliefs.

If there is a church that believes in a different God then yours, they are not a church, but a cult or group of terrorists.

You believe in the ten commandments. Including "Thou shall not Kill", unless the person you are about to kill has done something that really pisses you off.

You have to believe that public schools are populated by idiots and a waste of taxpayers money which could be better spent on bombs and prisons.

You have to believe that trial lawyers are a bane to business and C.E.O.s are underpaid heros.

You have to believe that a nuke stored in China is a greater threat to your safety then the hopped up doper lurking around the corner with a Saturday night special he stole or bought from a law- abiding American.

You have to believe that gays are freaks and can be cured.

You have to believe that governments are oppressive yokes on mankind and business's such as Enron are a boon to all mankind.

You would like to believe that corrupt politicians start wars, will use the Rush Limbaugh rule on this one as George Bush cannot be called corrupt by conservatives.

You have to believe that the only reason complete capitalism hasn't worked anywhere is because the correct people haven't been in charge.

I may have missed a few items here but, this pretty much describes the modern American conservative. Don't you think?
Author unknown

Posted by ljb

[Tom]

Another country heard from.
L-as a conservative, a couple of those things describe me quite well. You mean them as an insult, but I am not embarrassed by them. Most, however, are not even close.

Explain to me how this quote doesn't describe you, Amazin, and Hcap to a tee......

"You have to have the uncanny ability to completely dis-regard any facts that disprove your ingrained beliefs."
I have acknowledge differing facts here before and when they come up again, I will contnue to ackowledge them. But the liberal side of the aisle seems pretty much set in stone.

Oh, yeah,,,,looks like Bin Laden has surfaced again and is threatening more attacks.
Good thing we have W at the helm!

[Lefty]

ljb, looks to me like it's the liberals who want God kept out of everything and not the conservatives. But don't let me confuse YOU with facts.
And I also, see liberals making political speeches in churches. Boy, talk about hypocrites.

[Lefty]

ljb, the school system has been corrupted by the liberals and the teachers unions and the money would be better spent on private schools. So guess you are half right, which is a big plus for you. Congrats.
Yeah, I support the death penalty for murderers. They really do piss me off; but you know me; thin skinned.

[Tom]

Ljb wrote:

"You have to believe that a nuke stored in China is a greater threat to your safety then the hopped up doper lurking around the corner with a Saturday night special he stole or bought from a law- abiding American."

Yes, that is correct. Which is why I support a strong military, a nuclear arsenal, development of space age weapons and surveilance systems, and good old fashioned espionage, all to take care of the former, and no gun control so I can take care of the later. (Sidebar:you see, L, the Saturday night special is almost certainly not registered, and therefore illegal, so the liberal gun control laws failed to stop it from being in my neighborhood. What those stupid laws did do was prevent me from having one of my own to either deter the crackhead or blast him into next Tuesday, as the case may be.)
Oh, BTW, isn't the doper one of the fringe leftwingers? You know the McGovern-crowd?

Bang Bang.


:eek: