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TJDave
03-07-2011, 07:33 PM
Daddy Polar Bear and Baby Polar Bear are sitting on an iceberg. Baby Polar Bear says, "Dad, am I a polar bear?" His dad says, "Yes, son, you are."

Baby Polar Bear asks, "And are YOU a polar bear?" to which his father replies, "Yes, I am."

"Is MOM a polar bear?" asks Baby Polar Bear. "Why yes, she is," says Dad.

The baby asks, "Are there any other bears in our family who might be some other kind of bear?" Daddy Polar Bear says, "Well, no, son, as far as I know it's all polar bears in our family. Why do you ask?"

"Because I'm frickin' COLD!"
bigmack
03-07-2011, 08:14 PM
That's a real clunker, TJ. Someone just sent me this vid so I'll cram it in this thread. Liven it up a bit.

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chickenhead
03-07-2011, 09:47 PM
what do walruses and tupperware have in common?
bigmack
03-07-2011, 09:58 PM
what do walruses and tupperware have in common?
House guest knew that and spilled the beans. Not bad.

How'd Helen Keller burn her fingers?
JustRalph
03-08-2011, 12:54 AM
what the hell was that? A Lemur?
Steve 'StatMan'
03-08-2011, 09:48 PM
what do walruses and tupperware have in common?

Hee. Hee. A tight seal! LOL!
Steve 'StatMan'
03-08-2011, 09:50 PM
How'd Helen Keller burn her fingers?

Trying to read the waffle iron!

I'd better not get started with those!
Tom
03-08-2011, 11:16 PM
A guy walks into a bar ans sits down next a blond at the bar.
Just as he does, the 11:00 news comes on the TV over the bar.

A man is on the roof of a building, threatening to jump.

"I bet $20 he jumps." the guy says to the blond.
"I bet he doesn't." the blond replies, just as the man leaps of the edge and plummets to the street below.

"Oh darn," she says, and hand a 20 to the guy.
"I can't take that," he says, "I saw that story at 6:00 and knew he jumped.
"So did I," she said. "I just can't believe he jumped again!"

The man took the 20.
Tom
03-08-2011, 11:18 PM
Trying to read the waffle iron!

I'd better not get started with those!

Along those lines, a woman shows up at Church with both her ears bandaged.

"What happened to you?" asked the minister.
"I was doing the ironing, when the phone rang. Absent-mindedly, I picked up the iron to my ear!" she said.
What happened to the other ear?" he inquired.
"I tried to call 9-1-1!" she replied.
JustRalph
03-09-2011, 01:52 AM
what the hell is a quick reply?
Tom
03-09-2011, 07:36 AM
This.
JustRalph
03-09-2011, 08:33 AM
OK
PaceAdvantage
03-09-2011, 10:55 AM
what the hell is a quick reply?
It's actually exactly what it says it is...decided to turn it on to see if it's useful...
Tom
03-09-2011, 12:43 PM
Looks like no emoticons in the Quick Reply.
I thought CJ turned it on! (pretend there's a ROTFLMA emoticon here):rolly eyes:
Red Knave
03-09-2011, 01:24 PM
I thought I was going to see this
(Kudos to Gary Larson)
HUSKER55
03-09-2011, 03:09 PM
Lady in a tight skirt tries to enter a bus but she can't get her leg up to the platform. So she reaches in back to undo a zipper.

still no luck so she unzips a little more and still no luck.

She reaches in back and a Texan picks her up and puts her in the bus.

She replies "Gentlemen don't behave like that around here".


The Texan replies, "Maam you have tried twice to undo my pants,...I thought we knew each other".
PaceAdvantage
03-09-2011, 08:08 PM
Looks like no emoticons in the Quick Reply.
I thought CJ turned it on! (pretend there's a ROTFLMA emoticon here):rolly eyes:
You can still use the regular reply/quote buttons. Plus you can use the Go Advanced button if you start to quick reply but then realize you want those emoticons....
Tom
03-10-2011, 07:38 AM
Yeah, I was just playing dumb.:rolleyes: