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IRISHLADSTABLE
02-03-2011, 07:05 PM
Subject: Why I Moved To Florida
August 15 - Moved to our new home in Jersey . It's so beautiful here.
The lake to the north looks so majestic. I can hardly wait to see it
snow covered. I'm going to love it here!
October 14 - Jersey is definitely the most beautiful place on earth. The
leaves have turned all the colors and shades of red and orange. Went
for a ride through the park and saw some deer. They are so graceful.
Certainly they are the most wonderful animals on earth. This must be
paradise, I LOVE IT HERE!!

November 10 - Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone
wanting to kill such a gorgeous animal. Hope it will snow soon. I
love it here. Those red and orange leaves have covered my yard. Looks
like a magnificent multi-colored carpet. HOW BEAUTIFUL. Raking and
cleaning up the yard will be an opportunity for invigorating exercise in
the cool crisp air.

November 15 - Ah, more leaves and more exercise.

November 18 - Jesus, still more leaves. Guess it's best to wait until
they've all fallen before I rake again.

November 25 - Finally, all of the trees lost their leaves and with
today's final raking it's over for this season.
Chiropractor suggested I use a lawn maintenance service next year.
Only four blisters became infected. Should probably remember to use
gloves.

November 30 - What the f***? Where did all of those leaves come from?
Had a little wind last night and the lawn is covered again. Oh well,
they'll just have to wait until spring.

December 12 - It snowed last night, FINALLY. Woke up to find everything
blanketed in white. It looks like a postcard.
We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the
driveway. Had a snowball fight (I won) and when the snowplow came by
we had to shovel the end of the driveway again. What a beautiful
place. I Love Jersey !

December 14 - More snow last night, I love it. The snow plow did his
trick to the driveway again. I Love it here.

December 19 - More snow again last night. Can't get out of the
driveway. Can't get to work. I'm exhausted from shoveling. F*ing
snowplow!

December 22 - More of that white sh*t fell again last night. As if
dealing with the leaves weren't bad enough, now I've got blisters all
over my hands from shoveling, must remember to wear gloves. I think the
snowplow hides around the corner and waits until I'm finished shoveling
the driveway. The a**h*le.

December 25 - Merry F*king Christmas. More fr***ing snow! If I ever
get my hands on that s.o.b. who drives the snowplow, I swear I'll kill the
b*stard. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt
the f*ing ice.

December 27 - More white sh*t last night. Have been inside for three
days except for shoveling out the driveway after that plow goes through
every time. F*king gloves got wet and then froze on my hands.
Doctor said it was just a mild case of frost bite, disfiguration is
probably only temporary. Can't go anywhere, car is stuck in a
mountain of white sh*t. The weatherman says to expect another 10
inches of the sh*t tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow
10 inches is???

December 28 - The f*ing weatherman was wrong. We got 34 inches of
that white sh*t.!!! At this rate it won't melt 'till summer.
The plow got stuck up the road and the b*stard came to the door and
asked to borrow a shovel. After I told him I'd already broken six of
them shoveling all the sh*t he pushed into the driveway, I broke my last
one on his f*ing head!

January 4 - Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get
food and on the way back I hit a damned deer that ran in front of my
car. Did about $3000 damage. F*ing beast should be killed. Wish
the hunters had killed them all last November.

May 3 - Took the car to the garage in town. The thing is rusting out
from all the f*ing salt they put all over the roads.

May 10 - Moved to Sarasota Florida . I can't imagine why anyone in
their right mind would ever live in that God forsaken state of New
Jersey !!!

dav4463
02-03-2011, 08:04 PM
I'm in Texas. Right now, I am considering a move to Florida! This sucks! I can't do anything. I can't drive on the ice! A whole week of this is all I can take. I would hate to live up North!

NJ Stinks
02-03-2011, 08:47 PM
Very good, Irishladstable! :D


As an aside, even worse is the fact that kids around here never come around offering to shovel to earn some extra money. :mad:

"What kind of a kid are we raising around here?", I've often asked myself. :confused:

johnhannibalsmith
02-03-2011, 08:48 PM
...As an aside, even worse is the fact that kids around here never come around offering to shovel to earn some extra money. :mad:

"What kind of a kid are we raising around here?", I've often asked myself. :confused:

Democrats,.

JustRalph
02-03-2011, 09:11 PM
Democrats,.


Post of the month or new year so far!!!
:lol: :lol:

NJ Stinks
02-03-2011, 09:13 PM
Post of the month or new year so far!!!
:lol: :lol:

You are probably right. :lol:

boxcar
02-03-2011, 10:30 PM
Democrats,.

Talk about a blind man walking into your ditch. :ThmbUp: :ThmbUp:

Boxcar

newtothegame
02-03-2011, 11:37 PM
Not just John's reply to NJ, but I nominate this entire thread for a yearly achievement. I am almost in tears from Irish's initial post...then john had to go and make me spit DR Pepper up...lol.
Thanks guy for the laughs!!

xfile
02-04-2011, 01:35 AM
Ahhh Sarasota....Not far from me

Tom
02-04-2011, 07:36 AM
Originally Posted by NJ Stinks
...As an aside, even worse is the fact that kids around here never come around offering to shovel to earn some extra money. images/UBGX/E18.gif

"What kind of a kid are we raising around here?", I've often asked myself. images/UBGX/E19.gif


I hear ya. Dittos lawn mowing.
When I was a kid, we would go door to door looking for work.
I ask some kids across the street if they will shovel my driveway and I had to go google what they called me!

I am not one of those!:eek: