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Dave Schwartz
08-12-2003, 01:25 PM
I received the following email from a good friend of mine this morning. It was a combination of well-written, humorous, and political. (Even had a touch of religion thrown in. In other words, it ought to get to just about everyone. <G>)

As a confirmed "conservative" (notice the small "c") I hate to say it but I kind of agree with much of his libertarian views. Not all, but a few.

Anyway, I thought perhaps you guys would care to comment on it.

Note: I would especially appreciate some good 'ole right-wing help here as I am having lunch with him and will need some ammunition that makes sense.

Anyway, here it is:

+++++++++++
Good morning, Dave.


On to more important things. The California recall election is going to make Florida look like the center of a rational voting universe. How can Californians expect voters to navigate a ballot with 300 candidates who are not listed in alphabetical order? The order is different in each assembly district. It will take weeks to tally the vote! Why not just bold-face Schwarzenegger so we can move voters through the polls quicker?

And speaking of Arnold... Last week, he proclaimed that he would be a governer for the people because "I have plenty of my own money." Yesterday, Arnold was at the Four Seasons Hotel in New York City raising campaign funds. According to Arnold, "It's not a tumor." OK, what then?

What is Arnold's platform, anyway? All I know about him is that he has "plenty of money." Maybe that's enough. Maybe he proposes to pay back all of the money stolen from Californians through manipulation of energy prices. Maybe he proposes to use his own wallet to supplement school funding to get it back up to 1937 levels. Maybe he wants to pay for the mass transit systems destroyed by the car manufacturers and oil companies. Maybe he wants to repeal Proposition 13 as contrary to free market economics. Oops, sorry. I didn't really mean that.

Meanwhile, President "Burning Man" Bush made Mount Lemon the backdrop to re-energize his initiative to prevent forest fires through commercial logging. This stupid, disingenous sot evidently never earned his forestry merit badge. If he did any research at all, he would know that: (1) there is no lumbermill within 250 miles of Mount Lemon (just outside Tucson), so the lumber companies have no commercial interest in clearing Mount Lemon of unnecessary trees, (2) the problem on Mount Lemon (and in many forests) is not the trees: the problem is the Bush (sometimes puns appear miraculously, a gift from our heavenly father), and (3) because there is no commercial advantage to clearing the brush from Mount Lemon, for years Arizonans have been asking for NATIONAL help to clean up the NATIONAL forest to avoid this sort of fire, but the administration has refused any meaningful funding for forest-management programs. It was a hoot, though, watching our supreme commander pimp his mission to hand over for free our national forests for clear-cut (sorry) lumber profits.

Not to be too tedious, but legalizing hemp -- which doesn't get you any higher than Col. North running the paper shredder at full throttle -- would allow us to keep building 7,000 square foot starter castles without razing the forests. I guess the free market just can't tolerate a superior crop when vested interests are involved. Maybe the Quorum of 12 will bring the next EPA chief -- Utah Governor Leavitt -- a revelation that hemp is OK. We can only pray, using 19th century phraseology, of course. (Twain: the Book of Mormon is chloroform in print.)

Speaking of the silent hand of God in economy, what happens when you cross a free market politician with a pharmaceutical action committee? Hmmm. Let's see. We don't want Americans buying drugs on the FREE MARKET from those unreliable Candadians, do we? (NAFTA is OK to export jobs, but not American corporate profit.) We want to artificially pump up the price and profits through government-imposed monopolies. Just yesterday, President Bush reiterated his dogmatic opposition to "the command-and-control structure out of Washington, D.C." The Republican Party and our current executive administration is hardly libertarian when it comes to the agenda of corporate America subjugating the masses. (They really don't like Catholics any more than trees.)

Anyway, back to drug policy (and I'm not talking about the CIA's ongoing participation in trafficking of controlled substances in order to fund programs that don't enjoy Congressional favor), the absolute abandonment of the free market for prescription drugs would not be so bad if the federal government and insurance industry had not pressed us into our absurd system of "private" socialized medicine, with a layer of for-profit bureaucracy to jack up the true costs of medical care by 50%. The insurance companies actually like higher costs, because their guaranteed return on investment goes up with cost increases that that affect all insurers equally. This is nothing less than a subsidy of Big Pharma. Compensation for federal lawmakers is not limited to the political contributions: they get to drag Medicare dependents around by the nose for the sake of political sport. Of course, it could all backfire (enough with the forestry puns, already) when Floridians figure out that direct Medicare benefits have been cut by $2,000 during the Bush administration, Medicare payments to doctors have been cut again this week, and the people who really need care are absolutely fucked. Meanwhile, Pfizer and the rest enjoy unprecedented profits in an otherwise stagnant economy. Beautiful thing, this free market. Beautiful thing, the Fourth Estate.

The weapons of mass deception are not limited to domestic policies. I'm still waiting. For one Iraqi weapon of mass destruction. Just one. Priscilla Ford's Buick with some Arabic scrawled on the inside of the glove box would probably suffice.

If they could just break the logjam (sorry) in the liberal media, which is supressing the discovery of the Iraqi WMDs, I could sleep better knowing that my grandchildren's futures have been mortgaged to buy a $6 billion boat we call the USS Ronald Reagan. The carrier will add to the present 12 carrier battle grounds, each with a complement of Aegis destroyers ($1.3 billion each) submarines and supply ships. The carrier will carry 40 FA-18E-F fighters at $2.8 billion, plus assorted helicopters and other aircraft. I wonder how the free market mediates the decisions to buy this kind of hardware? Nobody asked me for any input on the decision.

It must be the competition. With competitors. With other competing nations. Wait... no, sorry. No other nation on the planet has a single carrier group that comes close to one of our 12 battle groups. No other nation is producing nuclear powered submarines or warships of any sort. In addition to the USS Reagan (and two others just like it under construction), the US Navy has ordered three nuclear-powered attack submarines with a price tag of $2.3 billion each. (Blame the liberal press for generating all of the opposition to these programs.) Fuck it. We don't really have to pay for it. We'll just borrow the money from... people with lots of money and... let some future generation pay it back. With better than market interest. Ah, the free economy. What a system.

This brings us full circle to the recall election. For many reasons, I don't like Gray Davis. However, I find it incredible that he will be recalled because of the sour economy. Since the federal administration dogmatically practices local control and free market economics, the problem must lie at the state level, right! If we could just install a puppet with star power to remouth the curious language of George Bush, all will be well in California. Hey, Arnold: don't let them misunderestimate you!

Whew. I'm out of breath. I've got to stop drinking this Lockheed-Martin-Time-Warner-Starbucks brew.

Asta la vista, baby.

SandyE
08-12-2003, 01:46 PM
You could use your posting in any place and get a laugh. Too funny Dave, I almost fell out of my chair from reading it. Gotta send it, 'cause it's that funny and needs to be shared by all views. :cool:
Oh by the by I happen to be a closet Republican. hehehe
later,

JustRalph
08-12-2003, 05:54 PM
Yeah....real funny........ I am laughing so hard it hurts.......

freeneasy
08-14-2003, 09:26 PM
were the spoken words

" its a rumer not a tumer"
hope the lunch debate went well:D

ponyplayer
08-17-2003, 11:59 AM
California Gov. Grey Davis is being recalled because he entered the position with a $19 Billion Dollar Suplus. In four years the State revenue increase 27%!

Davis managed to spend the entire $19 Billion surplus, plus the 27% increase in revenues AND STILL plunge the state into a $39 BILLION deficit.

If the Terminator get is in, bravo. His opponents are quick to point out that he has no political experience. Well Davis had 30 years political experience and look at the stupid job he did. I think people in California are fed up with career politicians and need a change, ala Jesse Ventura.

Dave Schwartz
08-17-2003, 03:29 PM
Free,

Actually, lunch did not go that well... My Libertarian friend was a little more L-L-L-... not conservative-like... than usual. When he is in ultra-articulate mode AND leaning way left, I know better than to lock horns with him. Instead I just listen and laugh. (He is funny, isn't he?)


Dave

freeneasy
08-17-2003, 06:44 PM
great post as well, kinda reminded me a little bit of bobby riggs, always got a kick out of bobby. brassy, confident, always gave ya those lobs and spins with a smile.