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Skanoochies
03-16-2010, 12:16 PM
A drunk man who smelled of beer sat down on a subway next to a priest.
The mans tie was stained,his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked,"Say father, what causes arthritis?"

The priest replies, "My Son, it`s caused by loose living,being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and a lack of a bath."

The drunk muttered "Well I`ll be damned," then returned to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I`m very sorry.I didn`t mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

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The drunk answered, I don`t have it, Father. I was just reading here the Pope does. :lol:

Dave Schwartz
03-16-2010, 12:32 PM
If your horseplay today is as good as this joke, you'll hit a $60 horse.


:lol:

Steve 'StatMan'
03-16-2010, 01:26 PM
If your horseplay today is as good as this joke, you'll hit a $60 horse.


:lol:

Or if he's goes to Hawthorne today, he could sneak into to the winner's circle after one of the races and hit a $4,000 horse!

Dave Schwartz
03-16-2010, 02:09 PM
Steve,

Or if he's goes to Hawthorne today, he could sneak into to the winner's circle after one of the races and hit a $4,000 horse!

You know, that's the kind of thing ole Suff would do; sneak into the winner's circle to smack a horse.


The Toga parties of just full of stories about his antics.

I recall going up to the press box (at Saratoga) and watching a race from the roof. Suff has to go up the next race. (He was into one-upsmanship a bit.)

One day we are at the Adelphia Hotel in Saratoga - this beautiful old landmark that is going through a remodel. Suff wants to go look at rooms but they tell us they are closed for remodel AND WE CANNOT GO UPSTAIRS.

Note that I bolded that because this was like a red flag in front of a bull.

"Can't? I CAN'T go upstairs?" Suff says quietly. Then something like, "It's a free country," and next thing I know someone is distracting the desk clerk while several of us are following Suff upstairs.

He was like that. He was the kid that could get you in trouble at the drop of a hat. But it always seemed to work out just fine.


I think the best story of all was at the track. He gets this idea that would never have crossed my mind. How they did it I have no idea, but we look out on the track and there is Suff (and maybe CJ if memory serves) ON THE GATE CREW!

I tell you, if Suff turned out to be RIDING a horse in the stretch run it wouldn't have surprised me much.


Dave

Steve 'StatMan'
03-16-2010, 10:14 PM
Dave, thanks for sharing those stories about T.A.S. (The Amazing Suff)!

toetoe
03-17-2010, 04:08 PM
Dave,



He's still alive; am I right ?

Dave Schwartz
03-17-2010, 04:22 PM
My best guess would be "yes," but I have no update from him.

Perhaps a thread is in order to find out?


Dave

Grits
03-17-2010, 04:58 PM
Dave these about Suff are really, really, funny!!! :lol:

cj's dad
03-19-2010, 10:52 AM
I had the "good fortune" to have spent a "Toga party" trip with Suff:

Two stories:

1- I pointed out a horse in a 2 year old race that I liked because of a breeding angle that I had picked up from a fellow player, colt wins and pays $30+.

In full view of those in the tent who happened to be looking in my direction, Suff jumps up from the table and kisses me on the lips. He has no idea how close he came to getting decked.

2- I go to the Adelphi Hotel to check out the place, sit at the bar, when I see Suff come in before he sees me. I beg the Lady behind the bar to let me hide back there which she does. fortunately, she has the good sense not to serve him because he is already wasted or else God only knows how long I would have been back there.

PaceAdvantage
03-19-2010, 01:50 PM
In his prime, Suff was a helluva guy around here...he was really passionate about horse racing when he first arrived on the PA scene. He certainly did more than his share to help this place become just a little more popular, and I will always be grateful for that...

And during those first couple of Saratoga trips, he was "the man" when it came to having fun and seeing things you normally wouldn't see around the racetrack.