Understanding Company Policy

[Dave Schwartz]

Put five monkeys in a cage. In the middle of the cage, hang a banana
on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey
will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon
as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with ice-cold
water. After a while, another monkey attempts to climb the stairs, and
again all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. After a
while, the monkeys learn that touching the stairs results in a
spraying and therefore no further attempts to get the banana are made.

Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and
replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to
climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys
attack him, preventing him from climbing the stairs. After another
attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs he
will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with
a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The
previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm!
Likewise, replacing the third, fourth and fifth original monkeys with
a new one all result in the same attempt=attack scenario.

Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked. Most
of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not
permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the
beating of the newest monkey. After replacing all the original
monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with
cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs
to try for the banana. Why not? Because as far as they know that's the
way it's always been done around here.

And that, my friends, is how a company policy begins.....

[witchdoctor]

Reminds me aof a friend's wife who used to cut the ends of the roast of before cooking it. When I asked her why she did it, she said that that is how her mother did it. She later told me she asked her mother why they cut the ends of the roast off and her mother said that her mother did it that way.
When my friend's wife asked her grandmother why she cooked roast that way, she said that she never had a pan large enough to cook the roast and did it to make it fit inn the pan.

[chickenhead]

that story of wd reminded me of a chemistry teacher I had...she was yacking about dissolved particles in water and boiling points...and said "All those people that put salt in their pasta water are wrong, it makes it boil slower, you shouldn't do that". I pointed out the reason people (Italians at least) put salt in their water is to flavor the pasta, that it had nothing to do with thinking it speeded anything up.

She was Irish, her mom probably didn't know why she was doing it whenever she explained it to my teacher as a girl...

[ArlJim78]

speaking of company policy, it reminded me of this old one.
_______________________________________________


In the beginning was the plan
and then came the assumptions
and the assumptions were without form
and the plan was completely without substance
and the darkness was upon the faces of the employees

and they spake amongst themselves, saying
"It is a crock of shit and it stinks!"

and the employees went unto their supervisors, saying
"It is a pail of dung and none may abide the odor thereof."

and the supervisors went unto their division managers, saying
"It is a vessel of fertilizer and none may abide its strength."

and the division managers went unto their system managers, saying
"It contains that which aids plant growth and it is very strong."

and the general manager went unto the Board, saying
"It promotes growth and is very powerful."

and the general manager went unto the Board, saying
"This new plan will actively promote the growth and efficiency of this
organization."

and the Board looked upon the plan and saw that it was good
and the Plan became Policy

This is how shit happens.