How do you handle movie-talkers?

[Dave Schwartz]

So, Beth and I go to the movies. (It was her turn to pick so it was Julie & Julia. (Next time it will be District 9.)

We had good seats - front row of the elevated section - our favorites. It wasn't packed but crowded enough so that there were no other good places to sit.

Just after the movie begins, these two woman behind us begun talking... "IS JULIA CHILD STILL ALIVE?" in a voice that you could hear 5 rows back!

Thirty seconds later... "DOESN'T THAT LITTLE TABLE LOOK JUST LIKE THE ONE EMILY GOT AT THAT GARAGE SALE LAST WEEK?"

You get the idea. They are having a regular conversation, except they had to shout a little to hear each other over the volume of the movie.


So, after listening to this crap for about 10-12 minutes, I politely - and I mean POLITELY - turn around and say, "Ladies, could I respectfully ask you to please not talk during the movie? When you talk, I can't hear anything but you."

I get my first real look at these two beauties... one is about 60 - big, I mean BIG - like 350 pounds - looks like a truck driver. She's the attractive one. Get it?


So, the BIG one (did I mention she was BIG?) says, "Well, we get to enjoy the movie, too, you know."

Again, politely, I say, "I totally agree. But did you see that part at the beginning of the movie where they say, 'Please don't talk?' This is what they were referring to."

Well, as you can imagine, the dominoes were going to fall from this point. (The BIG one got a bit surly after that.)

I ended the conversation and we left, searching out the manager. We asked for a refund and they were kind enough to also refund our popcorn/soda money.

The manager offered to throw the other people out. I said, "I thought you guys didn't do that stuff any more." She said that they did - of course the people pretty much needed to be the kind that says, "You can't tell me I can't talk," or, in general, be antagonistic.

Of course, the problem with that scenario is that by the time they have caused the scene, blowing up the movie for everyone, I've missed half the movie and wind up looking like the jerk. So, I just leave.


Okay, now that my rant is over... How do you guys deal with something like that?


Dave

[cj's dad]

My wife and I had a very similar thing happen to us many years ago- we actually got up and positioned ourselves directly behind the 2 jerks (man and woman) and began commenting on everything they said. Worked really well - they got pissed off and moved to another location. We then went to the manager and related what had taken place and we were refunded and received passes for any future movie at that location. Once your day/night is ruined might as well have some fun. !!

[riskman]

There are many annoying things people do in a movie to ruin the movie eperience for others. Talking during a movie is one among many other things.
The newest is text messaging, making and receiving telephone calls. Would not be surprised if the tweets are twittering. Then you have the mothers with babies crying ---it goes on and on. To avoid this I go to the movies on a weekday usually around 4PM, then get something to eat after the movie. Works out much better and a lot less aggravation.
One thing for sure, I would not go this far:

http://www.firstshowing.net/2008/12/27/angry-moviegoer-shoots-man-for-talking-during-movie/

[Tom]

I just yell, as loud as I can, without looking at anyone, " SHUT AP A*****S!"

They either do or the manager will come out.:cool:

[njcurveball]

I hear ya Dave. Many times my response would be to just join in their conversation and be very sarcastic. Depending on that reaction, they either get the message, or I get the Manager.

Probably means choosing another movie, but this one was ruined anyway. Most times you get your money back (or free passes) and the choice of another movie.

My new favorite tactic is making it obvious I am reading peoples cell phones. Truth be told, I cannot see them, but I stare hard at the lighted screens so they notice I am reading their messages. You'd be surprised how often this makes teens hold the phone too low to see or even turn it off.

In todays society, the approach with the least chance of success is the polite one, sad to say.

I was at a Security presentation with the head of FAA security last week. The guys (two of them) next to me were chatting on their Blackberrys. After using my "stare tactics", one put it away and the other got up and left. :ThmbUp:

[Dave Schwartz]

Okay, I admit that in my 20s and 30s I was a bit more agressive than now. Of course, I was full of testosterone and empty of God. Since then I have mellowed and tried to be a more turn-the-other-cheek guy. (Okay, and maybe my testosterone has leaked a little. <G>)

Listen, I have always loved movies. Going 30-40 times a year is just normal for me. I can't tell you how many times I got in somebody's face very aggresively 30 years or so ago. I even recall inviting two guys outside and kicking both their asses because they were talking.

What I do differently was what I did today. Not only do I not do anything agressive, I am actually polite.

One time, there was this old man with two women behind us. He spoke loudly often during the movie to the point where he could be heard like today - maybe 5 rows up and down.

After the movie was over I very politely spoke to him and asked if he was aware of how loud he had talked during the movie. He asked, "You could hear me?" I said, "I know you are constantly asking your wife to repeat what is being said, as do the closest 5 people in any direction of you."

The man was mortified! He just had no idea. Having hearing deficiencies myself (and being a naturally loud person because of it) I can understand that.

So, for me the biggest adjustment has been giving people the benefit of the doubt.

Where I lose patience - and I did today - is when people think that their rights supercede mine. At least I kept my tongue in my head and didn't demean myself because of her actions.


Dave

[GameTheory]

Okay, I admit that in my 20s and 30s I was a bit more agressive than now. Of course, I was full of testosterone and empty of God. Since then I have mellowed and tried to be a more turn-the-other-cheek guy. (Okay, and maybe my testosterone has leaked a little. <G>)

Listen, I have always loved movies. Going 30-40 times a year is just normal for me. I can't tell you how many times I got in somebody's face very aggresively 30 years or so ago. I even recall inviting two guys outside and kicking both their asses because they were talking.

What I do differently was what I did today. Not only do I not do anything agressive, I am actually polite.

One time, there was this old man with two women behind us. He spoke loudly often during the movie to the point where he could be heard like today - maybe 5 rows up and down.

After the movie was over I very politely spoke to him and asked if he was aware of how loud he had talked during the movie. He asked, "You could hear me?" I said, "I know you are constantly asking your wife to repeat what is being said, as do the closest 5 people in any direction of you."

The man was mortified! He just had no idea. Having hearing deficiencies myself (and being a naturally loud person because of it) I can understand that.

So, for me the biggest adjustment has been giving people the benefit of the doubt.

Where I lose patience - and I did today - is when people think that their rights supercede mine. At least I kept my tongue in my head and didn't demean myself because of her actions.

I find semi-polite but firm works best -- don't ask them to stop talking, just say, "Please stop talking." Also say it loud enough that everyone else they are bothering can hear you say it -- will usually get some cheers and here-heres. When a whole group is against them they shut up.

This probably only works with obnoxious adults, not teenagers.

[DJofSD]

I enjoyed "Julia & Julia" and thought the potrail by Meryl Streep was very good.

Next time you have a problem with talkers during the movie, first stand up then turn around to speak to the rude people. Don't be apologetic, be assertive, something along the lines of 'I would appreciate if you two would stop talking. I can not hear the move.' Then sit down.

[banacek]

I enjoyed "Julia & Julia" and thought the potrail by Meryl Streep was very good.

Next time you have a problem with talkers during the movie, first stand up then turn around to speak to the rude people. Don't be apologetic, be assertive, something along the lines of 'I would appreciate if you two would stop talking. I can not hear the move.' Then sit down.

I've always had the urge to pull a George Costanza when this happens:

from "The Opposite" ..probably my favourite Seinfeld episode:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjXUgxR4Z10 at about 3:00

[DJofSD]

I've always had the urge to pull a George Costanza when this happens:

from "The Opposite" ..probably my favourite Seinfeld episode:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjXUgxR4Z10 at about 3:00
Thanks for the load of chuckles this morning, Banacek.

See, Dave, it works!

[Dave Schwartz]

DJ,

There was a time that I agreed with this approach but not any more.

My experience is that people who will not respond to a polite request are not any more likely to respond to aggressiveness.

With a negative response, there are a limited number of options available. There are also a limited number of results.

The best-case result is that they get thrown out. Of course, by then I have missed 20 minutes of the movie locating a manager and dragged them into the theatre to do some whoop-up. By then the movie is completely disrupted for everyone (including me).

In my mind a better solution is for me to simply come back another day. Yes, I know... the perpetrators deserve to pay the price rather than me... it is an imperfect world.

Of course, I could have gotten really aggressive yesterday - but to what end?

One who is into aggressive behavior - especially if there is an intimidation element - must ask themselves if they are equally likely to be aggressive with (say) two 25-year old gang-bangers as they would be with a 60-year old man and his wife. If the answer is "no" then one must do a "hypocrit" check.


Dave

[BlueShoe]

Because I grew up in a different era in which parents taught children to be respectful and considerate of others,I tend to be very confrontational and short tempered when encountering these "Me first,do what I want,screw you" types that are everywhere in todays society.To avoid this,usually attend films in off hours such as weekday afternoons.Slightly off topic,but if you think movie theaters are bad,spend some time in your local library.Once places of deep quiet,they are now often more like social centers,with loud conversations and blasting cell phone ringing with screaming conversations almost the norm.Yours truly is way,way too old to be getting in brawls,but have come very close to finding out if some of those old unarmed combat moves learned decades ago could still win a fight for me against a man half my age.

[jballscalls]

I went to see Anthony Bourdain from travel channel do a lecture/Q and A a few months ago, and i've just realized that the decency and civility of people in large groups is impossible in today's society.

We are so self absorbed/centered that even though there is a performer performing, they still have to tell their friends their opinion because people have to be heard. YOutube, blogs, facebook, twitter are all ways for us common people to be OUT there and get attention. It's like we can't sit through a movie anymore without somehow being noticed, because people want tomake everything about themselves.

OK my rant is done (by the way i'm very guilty of wanting/begging for attention, but i do shut up during a movie)

[Dave Schwartz]

Yesterday morning we went back to the same theatre to watch the same mive -Julie & Julia. First show, 10:55am.

The theatre is almost empty. We are in almost the exact same seats as before. In front of us are 6 old people in wheel chairs with an attendant. To our right is a mother, daughter and granddaughter. There are three other couples spread out behind us.

After sizing up the situation (and listening to people talk during the previews) I tell Beth that the old lady on the far right will be discussing the movie with the old lady on the far left.

We have a good laugh over that... until the movie starts! The lady on the right is absolutely hollering across the theatre - 7 seats away - to her friend! It was an absolute fiasco for awhile!

About 20 minutes into the movie the woman on my immediate right begins talking to her daughter. Then the people several rows behind us begin talking.

At this point we are the only people in the theatre who AREN'T talking!

And when I say talking, I mean really loud. Frankly, it would have to be loud as I am almost deaf myself. The old lady in front is by far the loudest. After all, she has to shout across 6 seats for "Verna" to hear.

About 30 minutes into the movie I actually stood up, cupped my hands into a megaphone and hollered (loud enough to be heard in the lobby probably), "COULD YOU TALK LOUDER, PLEASE? THE MOVIE IS MAKING IT HARD TO HEAR YOU!"

Beth gave me a rather sharp look - I said, "Sorry. Lost it there for a moment but I am better now."

At this point the attendant spoke to the perpetrator and all remained relatively quiet for the remainder of the show.



Dave

PS: The movie was excellent!

[DJofSD]

Thanks, Dave.

Let us know if you've seen Inglorius Bastards. That is the only other movie that has peaked my interest as of late. I guess I have acquired a taste for CT's products. I can remember seeing Pulp Fiction and thinking it was terrible. Obviously that opinion has changed (especiallys since I have it on DVD along with both volumes of Kill Bill).

[Show Me the Wire]

Just a personal observation. I generally find if the movie is entertaining people are quite, because they are engrossed in the movie. Their attention is focused away from conversation.

I have not seen the movie, but maybe the movie is lacking in enough entertainment value to engross the audience or maybe it is so good people are so excited thay have to talk about it.

I guess I am trying to say there are some movies themselves,that will promote conversation in the audience.

Maybe this is one of them, especially as you noted the size and demographics of the audience.

[DJofSD]

Just a personal observation. I generally find if the movie is entertaining people are quite, because they are engrossed in the movie. Their attention is focused away from conversation.

I have not seen the movie, but maybe the movie is lacking in enough entertainment value to engross the audience or maybe it is so good people are so excited thay have to talk about it.

I guess I am trying to say there are some movies themselves,that will promote conversation in the audience.

Maybe this is one of them, especially as you noted the size and demographics of the audience.
Those could be astute observations. For J & J, I'd guess the people attending are those that like to cook and find Julia Child an interesting person. And perhaps they remember her from the various TV programs. If so, I'm sure they're commenting on things like a particular dish or recipe or story about JC.

[ddog]

saw D9 the other day, thought it was pretty good given the general quality of movies out and they sure set up a D10-D11.

As to the talkers, we just leave or move, it's not worth the effort to try to calm them.

Really it isn't.


The cost of the movie isn't worth the effort.

They are louts and the less the interaction the better I like it.

Would never go to a movie during prime time, it's a cattle call from what I recall.



The best money I ever spent was on a home theater with a good projector and screen. You can't beat it when the DVD comes out or for checking out the cable movies. Of course, football is not bad ;) either.

[Greyfox]

Okay, now that my rant is over... How do you guys deal with something like that?


Dave

For that and other reasons I quit doing movies in theatres years ago.
When they are released on DVD I rent them. So I see the movie 6 to 9 months after you do, but it's in the comfort of my Rec room sans interruptions.

By the way, we didn't know that you were a Julia Child fan Dave.
Like Meryll Streep cooking isn't exactly Indiana Jones stuff. :D

[Dave Schwartz]

D9 was GREAT! Saw it last week.

And there were NO talkers!


Dave

[ezrabrooks]

The Wife's Bridge Club took over the house last night, so I took in Inglourious Basterds ("we aint in the prisoner taking bidness"). Sparse crowd, but a lady 4 or 5 seats from me spent the entire movie texting. Really thought it was going to bother me...but, I guess I was far enough away that it didn't. A movie texter was a first for me.

BTW, Basterds was pretty good (with a Tarantino caveat).

Ez

[offtrack]

Saw the ...Basterd's last week and enjoyed it. It's uneven in tempo, unreal in plot, overacted by Pitt (on purpose), too talky in parts. But it's Tarantino through and through.

Lots of texters in the half filled theater.

[ezrabrooks]

Saw the ...Basterd's last week and enjoyed it. It's uneven in tempo, unreal in plot, overacted by Pitt (on purpose), too talky in parts. But it's Tarantino through and through.

Lots of texters in the half filled theater.

Off, your right about the tempo and plot of Basterds..but, I really like the use of the excessive (talky) dialogue in some of the scenes; although, with Tarantino, the longer a scene goes, the gorier will be its end. One thing about Pitt...he hasn't seen a character to far out to play.

Ez