How Would You Handle This Situation?

[Shelby]

I need advice.

We went to an OTB site to bet the day before the Preakness and the day of the Preakness. The day of the Preakness we had a pretty good betting day. It is just my husband and I and when we win, we definitely do not call attention to ourselves. It's just not our style. Anyway, a man was sitting in front of us and throughout the course of the day we chatted back and forth. He noticed that we were winning and asked if he could go in with us on all of the rest of our bets. We didn't want to be rude and flat out say no, so I said that I wasn't comfortable betting with other people's money and that it made me nervous. He kept insisting to the point that we finally had to include him. We won two more trifecta's after that (with him included) but it went down hill from there. Basically, he stole my "mo-jo" and made me feel unlucky and uncomfortable. I'm pretty sure he's going to be at the same place for the Belmont and may try to find us. Anyone have any great advice on how to tactfully get my point across?

This sounds like a Dear Abby question lol :D

Edited to also ask......

To me, this seems rude to ask to include yourself in perfect strangers bets. Is this normal? Is it just me that is offended by this?

[miesque]

I would very firmly, but politely, inform them that "I do not share bets, but thank you for asking." That should be the end of the conversation, at least it is whenever I say that, but I then I again I admittedly have an agressive personality and when I say no, it usually pretty evident even to the most obtuse individuals that I mean it. :D

[andymays]

I need advice.

We went to an OTB site to bet the day before the Preakness and the day of the Preakness. The day of the Preakness we had a pretty good betting day. It is just my husband and I and when we win, we definitely do not call attention to ourselves. It's just not our style. Anyway, a man was sitting in front of us and throughout the course of the day we chatted back and forth. He noticed that we were winning and asked if he could go in with us on all of the rest of our bets. We didn't want to be rude and flat out say no, so I said that I wasn't comfortable betting with other people's money and that it made me nervous. He kept insisting to the point that we finally had to include him. We won two more trifecta's after that (with him included) but it went down hill from there. Basically, he stole my "mo-jo" and made me feel unlucky and uncomfortable. I'm pretty sure he's going to be at the same place for the Belmont and may try to find us. Anyone have any great advice on how to tactfully get my point across?

This sounds like a Dear Abby question lol :D

Edited to also ask......

To me, this seems rude to ask to include yourself in perfect strangers bets. Is this normal? Is it just me that is offended by this?


That's a good story. That's the type of stuff that happens and one of the reasons I prefer to bet from home. I know a few people who believe they can "steal someones luck" by touching them or borrowing money from them or betting with them as this guy did. I know one guy at Del Mar who does this stuff and he also follows people to the machines and stands behind them when they bet so he can see. It's irriatating as hell and it get's to the point where you have to get in their face.

You have to feel good when you are going to the Track and worrying about a guy like that is B.S.! Just say no! If you hit a signer with Him then that will be a problem as well.

By the way these are the same type of people who will blame you first if they lose with you!

Good Luck and Pick a bunch of Winners!

[Quagmire]

It is not normal. Tell the guy you are not interested in including him in your wagers, if he continues to bother you notify security.

[SMOO]

Upon seeing him shout "Jinx! Jinx!" and run away. :jump:

[Bobzilla]

Shelby, you and your husband were not being rude or unreasonable when you initially declined this person's offer. Reading your post brought back memories of the days I would have to go to a nearby greyhound track to play the horses and some of the distractions I was confronted with there. Thank God we now have the opportunity to play from the comfort and privacy of our homes. If you should see him again this weekend I would politely wish him luck, maybe even throw him a bone or two, but then make it clear that there won't be any teaming up or further discussion for that matter. If he pursist then I'd do as Quagmire suggested and have security throw his pathetic a$$ out the door. Ask for an escort back to your car when the day is over. Nobody has the right to steal other players' mo-jo. Nobody!

[Dave Schwartz]

Shelby,

IMHO, the worst thing you could have done was invited him in. The game is tough enough without the added pressure of someone looking over your shoulder. Simply put, it will take the fun out of it (as you experienced).

I spent years playing in Nevada racebooks and developed a couple of strategies to deal with... intruders. And don't misunderstand me - I enjoy the conversation of the guy setting next to me, but only to a point.

Betting is war, and I can't be bothered with saving a losing army while I am fighting my own battles. So, I developed some strategies to address the problem.


Strategy #1
The guy sitting next to you asks you who you like in the upcoming race. I have several answers:

"I like the favorite."
"The favorite sure looks good to me."
"I just don't see how anyone can beat this favorite."

I guarantee that after about three or four races he will leave you alone.

(Note: This is the racebook version of the t-shirt I used to wear when playing blackjack: "I split tens.")



Strategy #1
After a rather nice hit, when the guy is inquring about how you got that horse or who you like in the next race, you say, "I almost always prefer jockeys wearing purple over jockeys wearing blue."

When he inquires a couple of races later, you say, "Oh, I've gotta like the four in this race. I like horses with two names that begin with the same letter."


Strategy #3
WHen he asks why you like a horse, you point to the Beyer number in the Form and say, "See this number here? I don't know what it is, but I've noticed that horses with big numbers in this column win a lot of races."


Strategy #4
This is helpful when you have an intruder that just will not cease. Instead of waiting for him to ask a question, after before every race you ask him who HE likes, then proceed to tell him why you KNOW his horse couldn't win: jockey's silks, horse name, 4th race on the 17th of the month (because the numerology just isn't right), whatever.

When his horse loses, don't forget to tell him that you told him so BEFORE the race and that while he was losing, you had a nice $2 bet on the winner using your numerology "system."

He will move to another seat or, at the very least, begin to sit with his back towards you whenever possible.


You and your husband can make a game of it. Whenever you are approached by an intruder into your day together you see who can come up with the most outlandish reason for betting or not betting a horse.

Is this outlandish? Sure, but the true pests should be able to see that you are having a good time and that they need to make their own "good time."

Of course, an easier way is to simply say (at the very beginning), "My husband and I really enjoy our horse racing time together and we really enjoy doing it alone."


Regards,
Dave Schwartz
Who rarely makes a bet based
upon the phases of the moon.

[Run Nicholas Run]

you could have told this "spank" no thanks but I'll give
you my selections . Then you Petro him by giving him
bad plays ;)

[Dave Schwartz]

Funny - when I started writing my post there were no replies. When my post showed up there were several there. This must be a very common occurence.

[Shelby]

I'm so glad that you all don't think I'm a weird/whiny/not-nice person and I'm LOVING your responses.

miesque-I wish I were like you and I could be more forceful. I need to work on that quality. I seem to like to please all the people all the time lol.

andymays-EXACTLY! This statement by you really hit home:

"You have to feel good when you are going to the Track and worrying about a guy like that is B.S.! Just say no! If you hit a signer with Him then that will be a problem as well.

By the way these are the same type of people who will blame you first if they lose with you!"

Quagmire and Bobzilla-I hadn't thought about asking security.......I hope that it doesn't come to that, but it's nice to have in the back of my mind.

SMOO--:lol::lol::lol:

Dave Schwartz-LOVE LOVE LOVE your strategies. I can't wait to read all of this to my husband. He will crack up.
Run Nicholas Run--:D

[The Judge]

its hard enough to win now you are trying to hit for yourself and a perfect stranger.NO,NO,NO,No. I will not even take a bet of someone else to the track unless its my wife. I mean its there money and their selections. The reason I did that once and the guy hit the pic 3 the problem I forgot to bet it ( I realize it when it was too late to make the bet). Now if it lost I would have given his money back but if won so I had to pay him lucky for me it was in the low 100 dollars. I have never taken a bet again.

Think back did you include a horse that you normally wouldn't have because now you had more money did you include a low odds horse that you would have taken a stand against if you were betting for yourself so that you could "hit". NO,NO,NO its just to hard and tell him that. Stick to your guns don't let him run you out if you enjoy that book.

If he were a new acquaintance I would use Dave's ideas.

[Bettowin]

I do mingle bets with friends but if a total stranger asked if he could get be included I would (and have) just told them that I am just getting lucky and there is no way I can keep winning and am due to lose and don't want to lose their money. If they insist and say they don't care about losing I just tell the person that's fine but just wouldn't feel right doing it. That takes care of it.

At a big venue where one person's bet isn't going to change my payout I have offered to tell them or show them my bets and they are welcome to do the same thing but not on the same ticket.

[Charli125]

In the spirit of Dear Abby...

Dear I need advice on how to deal with someone that doesn't understand personal space and common courtesy,

You should've stuck to your guns and not included him in your bets, but since you relented, tell him that the two of you want to enjoy the day together, and would prefer some privacy. I doubt he'll get it, but it's worth a shot.

Whenever I take friends to the track they always want to piggyback on my bets(I have no idea why since I never do well at the track), and I always give them my pp's with notes and tell them to knock themselves out!

Yes, it's rude, and no, it's not normal. These kinds of people are the reason I rarely go to the track.

Sincerely,

Abby


I need advice.

We went to an OTB site to bet the day before the Preakness and the day of the Preakness. The day of the Preakness we had a pretty good betting day. It is just my husband and I and when we win, we definitely do not call attention to ourselves. It's just not our style. Anyway, a man was sitting in front of us and throughout the course of the day we chatted back and forth. He noticed that we were winning and asked if he could go in with us on all of the rest of our bets. We didn't want to be rude and flat out say no, so I said that I wasn't comfortable betting with other people's money and that it made me nervous. He kept insisting to the point that we finally had to include him. We won two more trifecta's after that (with him included) but it went down hill from there. Basically, he stole my "mo-jo" and made me feel unlucky and uncomfortable. I'm pretty sure he's going to be at the same place for the Belmont and may try to find us. Anyone have any great advice on how to tactfully get my point across?

This sounds like a Dear Abby question lol :D

Edited to also ask......

To me, this seems rude to ask to include yourself in perfect strangers bets. Is this normal? Is it just me that is offended by this?

[fmolf]

I'm so glad that you all don't think I'm a weird/whiny/not-nice person and I'm LOVING your responses.

miesque-I wish I were like you and I could be more forceful. I need to work on that quality. I seem to like to please all the people all the time lol.

andymays-EXACTLY! This statement by you really hit home:

"You have to feel good when you are going to the Track and worrying about a guy like that is B.S.! Just say no! If you hit a signer with Him then that will be a problem as well.

By the way these are the same type of people who will blame you first if they lose with you!"

Quagmire and Bobzilla-I hadn't thought about asking security.......I hope that it doesn't come to that, but it's nice to have in the back of my mind.

SMOO--:lol::lol::lol:

Dave Schwartz-LOVE LOVE LOVE your strategies. I can't wait to read all of this to my husband. He will crack up.
Run Nicholas Run--:D
my horse racing buddy and i had a situation like this at our local teletheatre and his quick thinking averted an uncomfortable situation,all he said was "frank i thought the doctor told you to stay home till the rash was gone"....well we never saw him within 40' of us again....every time i think of it i chuckle...the look on his face was priceless!

[Shelby]

its hard enough to win now you are trying to hit for yourself and a perfect stranger.NO,NO,NO,No. I will not even take a bet of someone else to the track unless its my wife. I mean its there money and their selections. The reason I did that once and the guy hit the pic 3 the problem I forgot to bet it ( I realize it when it was too late to make the bet). Now if it lost I would have given his money back but if won so I had to pay him lucky for me it was in the low 100 dollars. I have never taken a bet again.

Think back did you include a horse that you normally wouldn't have because now you had more money did you include a low odds horse that you would have taken a stand against if you were betting for yourself so that you could "hit". NO,NO,NO its just to hard and tell him that. Stick to your guns don't let him run you out if you enjoy that book.

If he were a new acquaintance I would use Dave's ideas.

I'm feeling a lot better and way more empowered. I should have asked you all this question as soon as I got home from the track that weekend because this has been bothering me and, sadly, I was letting it make me dread going this weekend.

Can you guys tell that I hate confrontation lol? :lol:

[Shelby]

I do mingle bets with friends but if a total stranger asked if he could get be included I would (and have) just told them that I am just getting lucky and there is no way I can keep winning and am due to lose and don't want to lose their money. If they insist and say they don't care about losing I just tell the person that's fine but just wouldn't feel right doing it. That takes care of it.

At a big venue where one person's bet isn't going to change my payout I have offered to tell them or show them my bets and they are welcome to do the same thing but not on the same ticket.

At the local track, we pooled with one of our "track buddies" at times, but that seemed different and never sucked the luckiness out of me lol.

[Shelby]

In the spirit of Dear Abby...

Dear I need advice on how to deal with someone that doesn't understand personal space and common courtesy,

You should've stuck to your guns and not included him in your bets, but since you relented, tell him that the two of you want to enjoy the day together, and would prefer some privacy. I doubt he'll get it, but it's worth a shot.

Whenever I take friends to the track they always want to piggyback on my bets(I have no idea why since I never do well at the track), and I always give them my pp's with notes and tell them to knock themselves out!

Yes, it's rude, and no, it's not normal. These kinds of people are the reason I rarely go to the track.

Sincerely,

Abby


:lol:

This guy would ask me "what made you pick that horse" and I'd say, "oh, I just study my pp's a lot" and he'd say "I need you to be more specific" blah blah blah.

I'm seeing now that this must be something that happens a lot. Maybe I should print this whole thread out in the morning and distribute it to people at the track lol.

[BIG HIT]

Got it right.Best thing for your personally would be.Say with a smile you jinx us with a smile and you rather lose your own money and not his to.It may enbarass hin enough to sit some where else

[Bettowin]

:lol:

This guy would ask me "what made you pick that horse" and I'd say, "oh, I just study my pp's a lot" and he'd say "I need you to be more specific" blah blah blah.

I'm seeing now that this must be something that happens a lot. Maybe I should print this whole thread out in the morning and distribute it to people at the track lol.


Here's what you do Saturday if the same guy comes up to you and your husband. Say "Do I know you from somewhere or who are you"? When he replies that you were betting with him on Preakness day. Look at your husband and throw a fit calling him every name in the book and end it by saying "you promised to stop sleeping with my twin sister when I was gone helping the sick kids" and storm off. Your husband will grab all the stuff on the table and follow you apologizing profusely. I'll bet the guy won't follow the two of you:)

[Dave Schwartz]

I'm seeing now that this must be something that happens a lot. Maybe I should print this whole thread out in the morning and distribute it to people at the track lol.

Shelby,

... or print out one copy and give it to your intruder.
:lol:

Seriously.

Dave

[andymays]

Shelby,

... or print out one copy and give it to your intruder.
:lol:

Seriously.

Dave


Short of eating a ton of raw Garlic before you go, I agree with Dave!

[MzDucat]

bettowin:

:lol: I just did a spit take with my coffee. Can't type because I'm still laughing. God, I love you guys!!!!!

[Rocklane]

I need advice.

We went to an OTB site to bet the day before the Preakness and the day of the Preakness. The day of the Preakness we had a pretty good betting day. It is just my husband and I and when we win, we definitely do not call attention to ourselves. It's just not our style. Anyway, a man was sitting in front of us and throughout the course of the day we chatted back and forth. He noticed that we were winning and asked if he could go in with us on all of the rest of our bets. We didn't want to be rude and flat out say no, so I said that I wasn't comfortable betting with other people's money and that it made me nervous. He kept insisting to the point that we finally had to include him. We won two more trifecta's after that (with him included) but it went down hill from there. Basically, he stole my "mo-jo" and made me feel unlucky and uncomfortable. I'm pretty sure he's going to be at the same place for the Belmont and may try to find us. Anyone have any great advice on how to tactfully get my point across?

This sounds like a Dear Abby question lol :D

Edited to also ask......

To me, this seems rude to ask to include yourself in perfect strangers bets. Is this normal? Is it just me that is offended by this?


I'm so sorry. You and your husband (if he was indeed your husband) seemed to enjoy those Heaven Hill and waters I bought you after we hit those trifectas (they were kind of chalky). :D

All great suggestions and very humorous as well. I'm like you. We enjoy going to an OTB or track until a complete stranger invades our personal space. Like most good hearted people, you gave him plenty of cues that you were not interested in his company. If he is that dense and mannerless, you will have to be bold as others suggest. Please do not let him ruin your saturday time with your spouse at the parlor. :bang:

[CBedo]

Strategy #1
The guy sitting next to you asks you who you like in the upcoming race. I have several answers:

"I like the favorite."
"The favorite sure looks good to me."
"I just don't see how anyone can beat this favorite."

I guarantee that after about three or four races he will leave you alone.

(Note: This is the racebook version of the t-shirt I used to wear when playing blackjack: "I split tens.")

Strategy #1
After a rather nice hit, when the guy is inquring about how you got that horse or who you like in the next race, you say, "I almost always prefer jockeys wearing purple over jockeys wearing blue."

When he inquires a couple of races later, you say, "Oh, I've gotta like the four in this race. I like horses with two names that begin with the same letter."

Strategy #3
WHen he asks why you like a horse, you point to the Beyer number in the Form and say, "See this number here? I don't know what it is, but I've noticed that horses with big numbers in this column win a lot of races."

Strategy #4
This is helpful when you have an intruder that just will not cease. Instead of waiting for him to ask a question, after before every race you ask him who HE likes, then proceed to tell him why you KNOW his horse couldn't win: jockey's silks, horse name, 4th race on the 17th of the month (because the numerology just isn't right), whatever.

When his horse loses, don't forget to tell him that you told him so BEFORE the race and that while he was losing, you had a nice $2 bet on the winner using your numerology "system."

He will move to another seat or, at the very least, begin to sit with his back towards you whenever possible.

You and your husband can make a game of it. Whenever you are approached by an intruder into your day together you see who can come up with the most outlandish reason for betting or not betting a horse.

Is this outlandish? Sure, but the true pests should be able to see that you are having a good time and that they need to make their own "good time."

Of course, an easier way is to simply say (at the very beginning), "My husband and I really enjoy our horse racing time together and we really enjoy doing it alone."

Regards,
Dave Schwartz
Who rarely makes a bet based
upon the phases of the moon.:ThmbUp::ThmbUp: :lol:
Another favorite of mine is to mention that I saw a mark on the form or program of the guy you're talking to, and that was the "key to me cashing this big ticket. Thanks."

[fmolf]

I'm feeling a lot better and way more empowered. I should have asked you all this question as soon as I got home from the track that weekend because this has been bothering me and, sadly, I was letting it make me dread going this weekend.

Can you guys tell that I hate confrontation lol? :lol:
hope you and your husband regain your mojo....good luck

[Greyfox]

I need advice.

We didn't want to be rude and flat out say no, so I said that I wasn't comfortable betting with other people's money and that it made me nervous... He kept insisting to the point that we finally had to include him....
Basically, he stole my "mo-jo" and made me feel unlucky and uncomfortable. ?

I've highlighted the areas that I think you need to do some work on.
There are lots of books out there on Assertiveness Training.

1. You couldn't say no.
Go to the library or book shop and get this old chestnut of a book
"When I say No, I feel guilty."
http://www.webheights.net/lovethyself/smith/no.htm
My guess is that this situation only is a flag of a number of other areas where you can't say no either.

2. You gave this guy too much power.
You are responsible for your own feelings. This man can't steal your mo-jo.
This man can't make you feel unlucky. He can't even make you feel nervous.
You gave him credit for what you really are in charge of.
Only the language that you are using in your own head can generate those feelings.

Having said the above, there are lot of people who have the same difficulties that you explained here. Learning to say No to "creeps" like this high pressure
guy takes some courage on your part. No book or therapist in the world can give you that. You just have to learn to say No, politely of course.

[Shelby]

Greyfox--thank you for the tips. You're right. I do need to work on everything that you said and it's high time I did!

We're off to the track in a bit. I'll report back on Sunday with a full update :)
Good luck everyone! And, thanks again for your time and your great responses!

[bitter]

tell him he's a mush (from bronx tale)

it would be a tough situation for me as well, hard to flat out tell someone no.

suggestion, bet minimal with him and do your own thing on the side

or better yet, maybe he's got mojo now, in which case you more then likely wont see him, or he wont let you in on his tickets

[Canarsie]

A flat out "No" should suffice. This has never happened to me and I know tons of people where I hang out. Asking for my opinion is one thing but pooling? That guy is extremely rude, pathetic, and needs to get a life.

[VicD]

Tell the guy you love a horse in the next race, a total lock...
Tell him to bet out on it, shove it all in..
Get a few hundred or thousand from him, and tell him you are going to the window..
At this point, you and your husband head for the exit, thus a guaranteed win for you, and it will cure the pest of this bad habit...

[raybo]

If you're betting tris or supers you are investing in a wager type with a payout that varies depending on the number of winners that will split the pool. I know that having the only winning ticket is rare but suppose you did that and instead of receiving the whole pool you had to split it with the guy you're talking about. Wouldn't that be enough of a reason to decline his offer and mean it? I'm not giving anyone my picks and then split the pool with him too. That's completely idiotic!

[Imriledup]

Just absolutely pretend you have no idea who he is. If he says "remember me" say no, i just don't, sorry. I think he'll go away if you are act as if you have no idea who it is.

[Shelby]

Hi everyone!

Well, I was all prepared to utilize all of these great suggestions, but the guy didn't show up! By about the third race we were breathing sighs of relief. We had a great time--tough betting day for us. We won the first race and the Stakes race--nothing in between lol, but still a great time.

Thanks again for all of your advice. I am now prepared for the next time this happens to me!

[Canadian]

I think it would be pretty easy for me to say no. I've asked others for selections before. I'm a harness racing guy and if I'm bored waiting for the next race I'll ask one of the regulars if they like anything.... I don't ask to bet with them... just ask if they like anything. More often then not I don't have to ask, you'd be suprised how many people handicapp out loud..... I should also add, I usually lose with these bets.

[njcurveball]

Hi everyone!

Well, I was all prepared to utilize all of these great suggestions, but the guy didn't show up! By about the third race we were breathing sighs of relief.

If he truly is so persistent that you have no alternative (moving to another section, going to a "private" section like the clubhouse, dining room, etc.) here is what I would do.

First I would tell him that I handicap all the way through post time and if I have to stop in between to make up the ticket then I will just pass the race. If he is still persistent on "buying in" after that, then I would ask him how much he wants to put in for each race.

I would then tell him that since these bets could be IRS type payoffs, you will simply buy the tickets and give them to him. First race goes off and I would go far far far away from him. Betting two different sets of tickets and then after the race, giving him the ones that lose.

Next race, same thing, following race, same thing. From 0 minutes to post until they cross the finish line he would not find me. I always tell him I do not make up my mind until I make the bets and if he decides to follow me to the windows then I throw my hands up and say "thats enough, please leave me alone or I am calling security!"

If he continues to "play the game" I would continue to buy 2 sets of tickets and continue to give him the ones that lose. And of course if I win, I would make sure he isn't following me to a machine where I cash in and print a voucher quickly.

[ranchwest]

Here's a few more ideas:

1) Look at him very seriously and ask him if he'll get you and your husband something at the concession stand. If he asks you for money, tell him you'll catch the next one. This only works if he is alone. At worst you're getting a 2 for 1 and at least you're rid of him for a little while.

2) Tell him you get your picks from your grandmother. She is blind and incontinent (sp?), so you have no idea how she picks the horses.

3) Tell him you use the Patterson/Franklin method. If he asks you what that is, explain that it is very complex, but it has to do with reverse tangential probability. Your husband is a math genius and does the computations in his head.

4) Tell him you can't share a ticket because that would be illegal. Technically, it probably is, but even if it isn't you can probably pull off saying it sincerely.

In short, the more non-sensical the gibberish the better. Even crazies get rattled by crazies.

[ponyplayer]

IMHO, the worst thing you could have done was invited him in. The game is tough enough without the added pressure of someone looking over your shoulder. Simply put, it will take the fun out of it (as you experienced).


This is the bottom line! Just don't need the extra pressure........Learn to say no.