A Bush Joke

[hcap]

Bush Solves a Puzzle

His closest advisors came to visit Dubya at the White House one evening and found him slamming down beers and whooping it up. They were astonished since he had given up drinking years ago. When asked why he was off the wagon, Dubya replied that he was celebrating finishing a jigsaw puzzle. They smiled and told him that wasn't much of an accomplishment. "Ah, but you're wrong. I did it in record time." When asked what that record was, he replied that he had finished it after only 6 months. Again, they told him that wasn't that great. "Oh yeah?" said the commander in chief, "Well the box says 3-5 YEARS!"

[Tom]

Hillary Clinton woke one morning in the White House and looked out her window. Someone had written "Hillary is a B*tch" in the snow in urine!
Hillary was furious and called in the FBI to investigate. They came back a day later and told Hillary the news:
"The urine testing came back from the lab - it is definately Bill's."
"That SOB she cried out!"
"There's more," said the agent. "The handwritting is Monica's!"

[hcap]

Tips From Ghosts of Presidents Past

One night, George W. Bush is awakened by George Washington's ghost in the White House. Bush asks: "George, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?"

"Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did," Washington advises.

The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moves through the dark bedroom. "Tom," W asks, "what is the best thing I could do to help the country?"

"Cut taxes and reduce the size of government," Jefferson advises.

Bush isn't sleeping well the next night, and sees another figure moving in the shadows. It's Abraham Lincoln's ghost. "Abe, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?" Bush asks. Abe answers: "Go see a play."

[Tom]

Originally posted by hcap
Tips From Ghosts of Presidents Past


Bush isn't sleeping well the next night, and sees another figure moving in the shadows. It's Abraham Lincoln's ghost. "Abe, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?" Bush asks. Abe answers: "Go see a play."

Now that is funny!

[Tom]

Name two people shot in the back of the head in theaters.

Abe Lincoln

The guy sitting in front of Pee Wee Herman!

[hcap]

Tom

I like the Pee Wee joke.
He will never live down that escapade. Unfortunately he "shot" his career

Good actor talented comedian.

One more Dubya joke.

Cheney and the Bushes on a Plane

Dick Cheney, President Bush and his father are flying on Air Force One. Dick looks at Dubya, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $100.00 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy."

Dubya shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $10.00 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy." George Bush Senior says, "Of course then, I could throw one-hundred $1.00 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy."

The pilot rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, "I could throw all of you out the window and make the whole country happy."

[Dave Schwartz]

Hcap,

That was a good one.

Dave

[Derek2U]

hehe as expected your Pee Wee joke was tasteless, but I read
where Pee Wee is gonna do the sequel to Something Funny About Mary ..he wants that Cameron Diaz part bad.

[Derek2U]

in the WR yesterday I found that when this Room first started
you had voice set-up. I say bring it back. In off moments I can
sing my punk anthology from Ramones-SexPistols-Donnas & if
the crowd gets restless I can switch to Abba (4 guys like Keilan +
WiN+ few others; but no Celine, maybe Shania --- in that way,
I can stop goin to my other chat rooms due to their getting somethng calld Cease&Desist orders. derek

[PaceAdvantage]

Actually, it was a completely different room...and it didn't work too well...maybe I will look into doing it again..

[hcap]

Even though some might think I might be anti bush.
(Lefty are you listening?)

Here's one for the other side

The Great Wizard of Oz

The last four ex-U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado, and off they whirled to OZ. They finally make it to the Emerald City and came before the Great Wizard.

"WHAT BRINGS YOU BEFORE THE GREAT WIZARD OF OZ?"

Jimmy Carter stepped forward timidly:" I've come for some courage."

"NO PROBLEM!" says the Wizard. "WHO IS NEXT?"

Ronald Reagan steps forward, "Well........., I.......I think I need a brain."

"DONE" says the Wizard. "WHO COMES NEXT BEFORE THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ?"

Up stepped George Bush sadly, "I'm told by the American people that I need a heart."

"I'VE HEARD IT'S TRUE!" says the Wizard. "CONSIDER IT DONE."

There is a great silence in the hall. Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around, but doesn't say a word. Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, "WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

"Is Dorothy here?"