Bush vs. Hussein (humor)

[Dave Schwartz]

Saddam Hussein and George W. Bush meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When George sits down,
he notices three buttons on the side of Saddam's chair. They begin talking.

After about five minutes Saddam presses the First button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Bush in
the face. Confused, Bush carries on talking as Saddam laughs. A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big
boot comes out and kicks Bush in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Bush carries on talking, not wanting to put off the
bigger issue of peace between the two countries. But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Bush
in the groin, he's finally had enough. I'm going back home!" he tells the Iraqi. "We'll finish these talks in two weeks!"

A fortnight passes and Saddam flies to the United States for talks.

As the two men sit down, Hussein notices three buttons on Bush's chair and prepares himself for the Yank's revenge. They begin
talking and Bush presses the first button. Saddam ducks, but nothing happens. George snickers. A few seconds later he presses
the second button. Saddam jumps up, but again nothing happens. Bush roars with laughter. When the third button is pressed,
Saddam jumps up again, and again nothing happens. Bush falls on the floor in a fit of hysterics.

"Forget this," says Saddam. "I'm going back to Baghdad!"

Bush says, through tears of laughter... "What Baghdad?"

[fmazur]

Dave:

I see the humor in this and was 'rotfl', but after after going over the 'Fat kids' thread, I feel you are in big trouble from the libs on this board.

I can see them at this very moment, consulting with the ACLU, as well as their personal attorneys.

I can see a half dozen law suits coming out of this.

Good Luck

[Doug]

DAVE,

Funny.

At that same meeting Bush was trying to explain Brains over Brawn. As an example he put his hand on the table and told Saddam to hit his Hand. Saddam wound up and when he went to hit Bush's hand, Bush moved his hand and Saddam hit the table hard. Saddam then says "OH I'VE GOT IT". Then Saddam puts his hand in front of his face and sez "OK, hit my hand".

Doug

[azibuck]

I have to admit, I was chuckling reading the first post. But then I got to the punch line and was a little confused.

Wouldn't these jokes be funnier if we were actually invading/overrunning Iraq, or had already done it?

I really thought the first joke was going to turn out different. I thought Bush pushing the buttons and nothing happening was like... what's actually happening.

I'm not saying we won't take him out. But right now, it looks to me like Bush is saying, "I'm going to push the button. (Pause) I mean it. (Long pause) Comply or I'll do it. (Really long pause) Powell, go talk to the UN again."

I'm sorry, was that too serious? Not trying to start a(nother) political war thread, I just find those jokes a bit premature. If Saddam is so dumb, yet still in power, how dumb does that make Bush's father?

[Tom]

I thought they were funny. Some people just have no sense of humor.

[Lefty]

azibuck "how dumb does that make Bushes father"
I'm tired tired tired of all the blame heaped on Geo Bush the elder for not taking out Sadaam. That was the agreement made with the coalition. That's what's hysterical: The coalition, i.e. U.N. tied our hands wouldn't let us take Sadaam out and now these same people who say it's Bushes fault say we shouldn't go in without the U.N.
Jeesh!
And, the jokes were funny.

[azibuck]

Lefty, you suck at debating.

I said I was chuckling. I get the humor of the jokes. I didn't say they weren't funny. I just read them and thought maybe I missed the invasion or something.

I didn't heap any blame. In fact, I didn't heap anything. But fine. I'll change my comment to--if Saddam is so dumb, how dumb does that make the rest of the world?

And maybe I'm doing some extrapolating here, but JFC, alls I said was the jokes are premature. Instantly, I'm a Right-basher with no sense of humour.

[Lefty]

Scuse me azibuck, but you're the one that said, "how dumb does that make Bush's father" I pointed out the facts. Some people don't want to be confused with facts.
Humor to be funny has to have a kernel of truth.
I suck at debating? Yeah, nasty old facts have no place in a debate.

[fmazur]

Lefty, I agree with you. I read the same thing you did in the AZIBUCK post. Your response was correct.

[azibuck]

Revisionist history.

The US, not the UN, formed a coalition to defeat Saddam. The US (Bush, Commander in Chief) allowed, if not appointed, the UN to negotiate formal terms of the cease fire the Bush ordered within hours of liberating Kuwait City.

Look it up.

But hey, I really think you've got me wrong. First of all, sorry about my "you suck" comment to Lefty. But don't make me out to be some Bush hater, or Bush blamer. I'm just saying, a tactical error was made in 1991 (allowing Saddam to stay in power). Bush was CIC of the free world, and the coalition. Period. It was within our means.

If you ask Bush himself, do you think he will tell you he wouldn't have done anything differently?

[Tom]

I did not agree, but the objective 12 years ago was to liberate Kuwait. I thought we should keep going, but no one asked me.
I also thought we should have kept going under McAurther and Patton, as well. Would be a really different world today if we had. Better or worse, I don't know, but we should have kept going every time.
Part of the agreement to let Sadamn live and stay in power was the dis-arming that to this day he has not done and refures to astand accountable for. He has continued to develope weapons, and to be a threat to the free world. He has murderd not only his own countrymen, but his own relatives! as well. He is pure evil and he has no right to live. He must be killed, murdered, whatever, however. He cannot be allowed to live. We are where we are today becasue he has never lived up to the agreemtn that spared him originally. We mistakenly put a butt-hole in office for 8 years which really set us back while his darkness continued
to grow and gain strength.
And if you watch the news and read about what is really going on today, no one really cares if we go to war or not, as long as they get their "reward" for sideing wiht us. The world is full of whore nations lining up to get rich and that makes me sick. POS worhtels nations like Mexico! Hey, I sat we have already been invaded by Mexio and we should go to war with them! Round every illegal alien and deport them back to the big M. Then seal the boarder with snipers, attack dogs, mine fields - whatever it take to keep these leeches on thier side of boarder. Come into the dmz and we kill you. Plain and simple.
Close the boarders with Canada. Canadiens are decent people and our frineds, but they just plainly let too much trash into thier country and it slips over the boarder. We cannot allow this lax security put us in harms way. Bring all of our troops home and let the rest of world take care of itself. Let them defend our shores for a change. Give Israel a good supply of nukes and missle and say good-bye. Close all of our embassys and stop trade with all
foreign nations. That alone should get our economy rolling. Nothing spurs production like nesccesity. Kick all foreign visitors out and don't let anymore in-sorry-go to college in allah-la-la land. Not here. No more immigration. Then we can forget Sadamn and Bin Laden-let them hump camels and eat cave daisys. They can't hurt us if then can't get over here.
I would say if we do all this, we can avoid war.

[cj]

Tom, a very well thought out, politically correct response...ROFL!

You are the man! Keep it up!

CJ

[Tom]

Just remenber what andicap posted about what you read:rolleyes:

[Lefty]

azibuck, I wasn't calling you a Bush hater. I just get tired of hearing that Geo. H screwed up by not going all the way to eliminate Sadaam and that was not the mission. Carry on.

[Doug]

TOM FOR PREZ!!!!


Like that post.

Time to let these jerkoffs know who butters their bread.


Doug

[JustRalph]

Originally posted by Lefty
azibuck, I wasn't calling you a Bush hater. I just get tired of hearing that Geo. H screwed up by not going all the way to eliminate Sadaam and that was not the mission. Carry on. :cool:

It's called "Mission Creep". War planners refer to it happening after the mission objectives have been reached and due to serendipitous uncalculated advantage ( the republican guard being a joke, the rest of the army laying down like whimpering dogs upon seeing our army) Mission planners decide to take advantage of the situation. The problem with allowing mission creep to occur is that there are several instances in history where mission creep caused severe miscalculations and misjudgement. George H. Bush went into Gulf War I with a standing order that the objective was to liberate Kuwait and appease the U.N. who wanted him to leave Saddam in power. The only true advocate (this is sometimes denied by him) of dethroning Saddam was Schwartskopf (sp) when he realized that our troops could walk into just about any part of the country unfettered. I have read several accounts that Normie wanted to go all the way to Baghdad and do the job. Powell and Bush are said to have convinced (thats called "ordering" in the service) Normie to not let mission creep take over. I actually heard Bush Sr. say this in a speech a few weeks back on television. He was worried about the U.N. and he freely admits it. Once again the U.N. dictated the wrong solution. Hopefully G.W. won't let the U.N. dictate to us again. I am not sure that saying Bush Sr. screwed up is accurate. although it is a conclusion that sounds reasonable with 10+ years of hindsight. You would have had to anticipate the lethargic reaction of the U.N. and others to have made that conclusion ahead of time.

[azibuck]

I didn't find your posts humorous at all.

[Tom]

My post was half-sarcastic, sort of how we could avoid war by taking another extreme. I don't think Justralph's was meant to be a joke-I think it is true and accurate viewpoint.
And just what is so bad about my idea, compared to killing people?

[JustRalph]

Originally posted by azibuck
I didn't find your posts humorous at all.

you're right. I forgot this was a humor thread.

:cool: