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bigmack
01-21-2008, 04:31 PM
Write the Headline III:

1: For sale is bra-maker Triumph International’s "chopstick bra," shown in November in Tokyo as an environment-friendly demonstration project. The bra houses two reusable chopsticks (to publicize a national campaign to discourage use of disposable ones), which can also be positioned to enhance the wearer's cleavage.

2: Mr. Sandy Wong, 45, was sentenced in November in Edmonton, Alberta, to 90 days in jail for three counts of indecent exposure, including masturbating with his pants down while sitting on the roof of a BMW at a local agriculture fair. According to a psychiatrist, Wong said he is sexually attracted to the BMW's roof because "it's curved like a woman's body," but he also has been aroused by a 1967 Camaro, a 1965 Chevy Bel Air, a 2005 MiniCooper and a 1991 Buick Century.

3: A 46-year-old construction worker fell to his death in November in Custer County, S.D., after co-workers had raised him, in a boom, 30 to 40 feet off the ground so that he could try to get cell-phone reception. With sad regret, the boom's truck tipped over backward, rendering him lifeless.

4:A fiery auto crash in July near Augusta, Ga., had killed the driver and would likely kill the passenger, too, if the fire were not immediately smothered. Firefighters were still minutes away, but passing by was a pump truck from a local plumbing company, whose quick-thinking driver extinguished the flames with 1,500 gallons of raw sewage from a septic tank-cleaning job he had just finished.

5: Nepal Airlines, which was having technical trouble with one of its two Boeing 757s in August, announced that it had fixed the problem by sacrificing two goats to appease the Hindu sky god Akash Bhairab.

Tom
01-21-2008, 09:56 PM
1. Never let go of these!

Tom
01-21-2008, 09:57 PM
5. Goats cashed in to avoid Akash-crash

bigmack
01-21-2008, 11:34 PM
Nice, T. I could only muster:

1. Cross your heart & pass the sushi

2. Cops discover it's not turtle wax

4. Man saved by colossal dump

chickenhead
01-22-2008, 12:13 AM
3. God answers: "I can hear you now".

bigmack
01-22-2008, 12:16 AM
3. God answers: "I can hear you now".
We have a leader.

Sincerely,

The Mabsoot Elitist

shanta
01-22-2008, 10:08 AM
4) Eat shit or die

Tom
01-22-2008, 10:32 AM
:lol::lol::lol:

Nets
01-22-2008, 10:43 AM
4) Eat shit or die

:lol: :lol: :lol:
Awesome!

falconridge
01-22-2008, 12:10 PM
1: The bra houses two reusable chopsticks (to publicize a national campaign to discourage use of disposable ones), which can also be positioned to enhance the wearer's cleavage.
"The right cup consists of a rice bowl, while the left comprises a miso-soup bowl." (http://www.treehugger.com/files/2007/11/chopstick_bra.php)

"MISO-SEXY" STICKS BEST FORK-LIFT IN HOIST TEST

Gittup
01-22-2008, 01:45 PM
"The right cup consists of a rice bowl, while the left comprises a miso-soup bowl." (http://www.treehugger.com/files/2007/11/chopstick_bra.php)

"MISO-SEXY" STICKS BEST FORK-LIFT IN HOIST TEST
Speaking of "bras", well, I won't divulge too much as the patent has only recently been applied for, but it is something I designed for dairy cows. There are four "revealing portals" (ala wicked weasel) and it buckles over ol' Bossies back. The cows will sure love it, and the local farmers here have been nothing short of supportive (pun intended).

Tom
01-22-2008, 01:50 PM
Did you prototype it on a bull?

Gittup
01-22-2008, 02:01 PM
Did you prototype it on a bull?
No, but I had a sow that kinda liked it. Her name was Virginia...Virgina Ham.
She was delicious.