Write the Headline

[bigmack]

I believe Tom is the reigning champion of the last competition when for the article regarding a one-eyed ref being fired, wrote the headline: Pirate Ump Dumped. :lol:

Goodluck.

1: A burglar was killed trying to sneak into the Maranatha Used Clothing store in Miami on May 31; police said the man had crawled between the blades of a large, idle ventilation fan but that before getting all the way through, he accidentally tripped the "on" switch..

2: When three men stole drugs from a dealer in Edwardsville, Ill., the dealer and a partner allegedly snatched one of the men and roughed him up, seeking payment for the drugs. In November, police arrested the alleged dealers after the roughed-up victim reported that he had been held down, paddled, had some hair shaved off, and then deliberately burned on the neck and shoulders by having freshly baked cookies taken straight from an oven and held against his skin.

3: In September, prominent California cardiologist Maurice Buchbinder had his privileges revoked at Scripps Memorial Hospital in La Jolla after he allegedly roughed up an unruly angioplasty patient during and immediately after the procedure. Buchbinder was so irritated by the patient's combativeness that he even (according to witnesses interviewed by state medical licensing officials) delivered a pair of what could be described as "Three Stooges" moves: bopping the patient in the head with the tip of his elbow and twisting the patient's nose until it turned "bluish."

4. The China Daily newspaper reported in November that local markets and beauty salons in Guangdong province were selling low-priced hair bands made from used condoms.

5. Once again, a motorist casually traveling on a highway had his vehicle crushed by an airborne cow (this time, near Manson, Wash., in November). The 600-pound cow had fallen off a cliff, totaling the minivan but not injuring the driver, who was quoted in an Associated Press dispatch saying repeatedly, "I don't believe this."

[Jens]

How about this for the first two-

1- Fan on; Careless crook offed.

2- Cookie Monsters in the can.

I'll look at the others in a bit. Merry Christmas!!

[Greyfox]

Try this for:

WONG WOMEN WUBBED WONG WAY BY BIN DER DUN DAT WUBBERS

4. The China Daily newspaper reported in November that local markets and beauty salons in Guangdong province were selling low-priced hair bands made from used condoms.

[banacek]

3. VERY SURLY M.O.

[Greyfox]

1."TURNED ON FAN GETS CHEEKY."

[Greyfox]

5. "HEY DIDDLE DIDDLE COW FAILS IN MOON ORBIT ATTEMPT"

[Greyfox]

3. ANGRY ANGIOPLASTER NEEDED MORE OPERATING ROOM

[banacek]

4. "RUBBER" BANDS FOR SALE

Now they really weren't used were they...that's got to be a misprint. I'm all for saving the environment, but ..............

[Greyfox]

4. PEKING WOMEN FIND "USED RUBBER" STORY HARD TO SWALLOW

[Pace Cap'n]

Was it a lady burgular?

Fan Switch Sparks Disaster (dis-assed-her)

[nativenova]

4. hair bands making a cum back

5. Man charged with a mooving violation

[Lefty]

1. A SLICE OF JUSTICE

[bigmack]

Was it a lady burgular?
Fan Switch Sparks Disaster (dis-assed-her)Very nice :ThmbUp:
4. PEKING WOMEN FIND "USED RUBBER" STORY HARD TO SWALLOW:lol::lol:
4. hair bands making a cum backThe leader thusfar.

[banacek]

The leader thusfar.

I agree.

[Greyfox]

HEY DIDDLE DIDDLE COW IN NO MOOD TO JUMP OVER MOON AGAIN.

[Indulto]

5. "HEY DIDDLE DIDDLE COW FAILS IN MOON ORBIT ATTEMPT":lol:
GF,
My sense of humor seldom has company, but I laughed my ass off at that one. :ThmbUp:

[Tom]

4. The China Daily newspaper reported in November that local markets and beauty salons in Guangdong province were selling low-priced hair bands made from used condoms.

Dong hats going, going, guang

[Tom]

1: A burglar was killed trying to sneak into the Maranatha Used Clothing store in Miami on May 31; police said the man had crawled between the blades of a large, idle ventilation fan but that before getting all the way through, he accidentally tripped the "on" switch


Robbery Attempt Cut Short at Half Off Sale

[bigmack]

Dong hats going, going, guang
Robbery Attempt Cut Short at Half Off Sale

The returning champ showing us again his intactful esprit. :lol::lol:

[spicytomato]

2: When three men stole drugs from a dealer in Edwardsville, Ill., the dealer and a partner allegedly snatched one of the men and roughed him up, seeking payment for the drugs. In November, police arrested the alleged dealers after the roughed-up victim reported that he had been held down, paddled, had some hair shaved off, and then deliberately burned on the neck and shoulders by having freshly baked cookies taken straight from an oven and held against his skin.

THEIF STRIPPED SPANKED SHAVED BURNED BY COUPLE TUFF COOKIES:p

[Tom]

3: In September, prominent California cardiologist Maurice Buchbinder had his privileges revoked at Scripps Memorial Hospital in La Jolla after he allegedly roughed up an unruly angioplasty patient during and immediately after the procedure. Buchbinder was so irritated by the patient's combativeness that he even (according to witnesses interviewed by state medical licensing officials) delivered a pair of what could be described as "Three Stooges" moves: bopping the patient in the head with the tip of his elbow and twisting the patient's nose until it turned "bluish."

Doc Defrocked After Ticker Treat

[spicytomato]

3: In September, prominent California cardiologist Maurice Buchbinder had his privileges revoked at Scripps Memorial Hospital in La Jolla after he allegedly roughed up an unruly angioplasty patient during and immediately after the procedure. Buchbinder was so irritated by the patient's combativeness that he even (according to witnesses interviewed by state medical licensing officials) delivered a pair of what could be described as "Three Stooges" moves: bopping the patient in the head with the tip of his elbow and twisting the patient's nose until it turned "bluish."

Doc Defrocked After Ticker Treat


Scripps surgeon scrubbed!! Buchbinder called a stooge!!:eek:

[spicytomato]

1: A burglar was killed trying to sneak into the Maranatha Used Clothing store in Miami on May 31; police said the man had crawled between the blades of a large, idle ventilation fan but that before getting all the way through, he accidentally tripped the "on" switch..


Killer sale nabs Thrifty Thief !!:cool:

[spicytomato]

4. The China Daily newspaper reported in November that local markets and beauty salons in Guangdong province were selling low-priced hair bands made from used condoms.

breaking news;

from china;

Guandong condoms has heads turning!:faint:

[spicytomato]

5. Once again, a motorist casually traveling on a highway had his vehicle crushed by an airborne cow (this time, near Manson, Wash., in November). The 600-pound cow had fallen off a cliff, totaling the minivan but not injuring the driver, who was quoted in an Associated Press dispatch saying repeatedly, "I don't believe this."


Driver beefs about cliff diving cow.....

......news at 11:p

[Greyfox]

Robbery Attempt Cut Short at Half Off Sale



:lol: :ThmbUp:

[Pace Cap'n]

Yet Another Base Jumping Cow Has Rough Landing

[bigmack]

Robbery Attempt Cut Short at Half Off Sale
6-7 lengths in front at the 8th.

[Greyfox]

Gaundong Hairdo's Develop Stiff Appearance

[Steve 'StatMan']

Darn good prior entries

5 - Minivan crushed in mooving violation
Minivan udderly crushed

[stuball]

5.....WOULD YOU LIKE THAT MALT TO GO..... :lol:

[MONEY]

Burglary thwarted by Miami fan.
What do Drugs, Fresh Cookies and a Skin Condition have in common?
It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's a Cow?
Surgeon Smurfs Nose.
New Wang Done, Hairdo in Guangdong.

[spicytomato]

4. The China Daily newspaper reported in November that local markets and beauty salons in Guangdong province were selling low-priced hair bands made from used condoms.


The Guaondong Head Gear...A lead free product:rolleyes:

Guangdong Condom Headgear ...fits your head needs:p

and last ......

Guandong Condoms....A Hair raising Experience!!:eek:

smile its xmas....:D

[ArlJim78]

2- Arrests made in half-baked drug deal – congress to investigate warm cookie torture.







5- HOLY COW! Minivan flattened by apparent bovine suicide.

[Greyfox]

Burglary thwarted by Miami fan.
What do Drugs, Fresh Cookies and a Skin Condition have in common?
It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's a Cow?
Surgeon Smurfs Nose.
New Wang Done, Hairdo in Guangdong.



http://www.paceadvantage.com/forum/image.php?u=2525&dateline=1144248432

In case anyone missed MONEY's calling card....check the above link. :lol:

[Jens]

4- Used Trojan Band Be-cumming Popular

[ArlJim78]

GUANGDONG WOMEN NOW USING PROTECTION FOR HEAD

[Jens]

Hickory Dickory Dock,
There's Trojans in your sock,
And when you're done
Having your fun
You can use them on your locks.
Hickory Dickory Dock.

[spicytomato]

Hickory Dickory Dock,
There's Trojans in your sock,
And when you're done
Having your fun
You can use them on your locks.
Hickory Dickory Dock.

omg this is a good one

love it love it love it:lol:

[Greyfox]

Hickory Dickory Dock,
There's Trojans in your sock,
And when you're done
Having your fun
You can use them on your locks.
Hickory Dickory Dock.

:lol: Not a headline but good.

[Greyfox]

"Holes Poked In Rubber Hair Band Story"

[Greyfox]

SCRIPPS DOCTOR USES CHINESE HAIR BANDS IN ANGIOPLASTY OF CHEEKY ROBBER.

[DJofSD]

5: Bovine Bounces Barouche Bewildered

[dylbert]

1: FAN "ON", BURGLAR "OFFED"

2: COOKIE BOARDING: IS IT TORTURE?

3: STOOGE-OPLASTY - MOE, CURLY & DOC?

4. SEX, CONDOMS & RECYCLING!

5. GROUND BEEF: CLIFF DIVING BOVINE BUTCHERS VAN

[bigmack]

2: COOKIE BOARDING: IS IT TORTURE?

5. GROUND BEEF: CLIFF DIVING BOVINE BUTCHERS VAN
Both, darn nice. :jump:

While many are quite inventive, Mr. T still holds the lead with:

Robbery Attempt Cut Short at Half Off Sale
:lol::lol:

[DJofSD]

4. Condoms to Haute Couture: Al Gore has nothing on these Chinese fashion mavins

[MONEY]

Udderly Unbelievable.

[shanta]

Hickory Dickory Dock,
There's Trojans in your sock,
And when you're done
Having your fun
You can use them on your locks.
Hickory Dickory Dock.

:lol: :lol:

[MakinItHappen]

Something Smells Fishy About Low-Priced Hair bands


The China Daily newspaper reported in November that local markets and beauty salons in Guangdong province were selling low-priced hair bands made from used condoms.

[MakinItHappen]

Robbery Becomes Dicey Proposition

A burglar was killed trying to sneak into the Maranatha Used Clothing store in Miami on May 31; police said the man had crawled between the blades of a large, idle ventilation fan but that before getting all the way through, he accidentally tripped the "on" switch..

[Tom]

Hey Mack!

Here's a bonus headline. The story is the tiger that got loose and attacked three kids at a zoo - killing one, mauling two, after they allegedly teased it.

Ticked Off Tiger Tags Teen Tormentors after Grrrrrrreat! Escape!

[bigmack]

Ticked Off Tiger Tags Teen Tormentors after Grrrrrrreat! Escape!
:lol: It's a gift. Ironic, whenever an animal escapes the first thing they want to do is kill some homo sapien.

Kudos on the P'Body :ThmbUp:

http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u70/macktime/peabodycopy.jpg

[toetoe]

1) Night Crawler Gobbled by Crazed Fan. Burglars Union in Pieces.

2) DOUGH !!!

3) Medic Accused of My-Oh-Myocardial Infraction.

4) Disoriented Ladies Sing the Blues: Guangdong Slowly, Slowly Guangdong.

5) Elsie Falls Hard, Has Crush on Van. Bum Steer Suspected.

[bigmack]

:lol::lol:
The Concise Gnomic Five, toes. Next you'll be penning puns and motto's. I see franchises on every corner:
The Discount House of ToeMotto's

Isn't infraction, infarction? You know, like in Johnny Dangerously, "You farkin' icehole".

Can we assume that The F'Ridge is gathering further evidence on the rascal that made the egg salad sandwiches?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFxytlJjXbk

[toetoe]

Hey mack, maybe the sawbones can put Humpty Burglar's fractions back together.

I fully expect the Fridge to proofread my drivel, I mean detritus, I mean journalism. :rolleyes:

[Steve 'StatMan']

[QUOTE=bigmack]:lol::lol:
The Discount House of ToeMotto's

The newspapers will all note: ToeMotto's 3 for $1

[toetoe]

Yes, mack, you caught my fictive, infarctive occlusion ... er, allusion. You have sprouted rhetorical wings, my fine feathered friend, perhaps making you a, ahem, pterofractal ?? :confused:

[Tom]

You say ToeMotto, I say ToeMatto.