horse joke

[ljb]

A guy calls his buddy, a horse rancher, and says he's sending
a friend over to look at a horse.

The buddy says, "How will I recognize him?"

"That's easy," says the guy, "he's a midget with a speech
impediment."

So, the midget shows up, and the guy asks him if he's looking
for a male or female horse. "A female horth," says the midget.
So he shows him a prized filly.

"Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth?" asks the midget.
So the guy picks up the midget and he gives the horse's eyes
the once over.

"Nith eyeth," notes the midget. "Can I thee her earzth"?
So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the
horse's ears.

"Nith earzth," comments the midget. "Can I see her mouf"?
The rancher is getting pretty annoyed by this point, but
he picks him up again and shows him the horse's mouth.

"Nice mouf," states the midget. "Can I see her twat?"
Totally fed up at this point, the rancher grabs him under
his arm and jams the midget's head as far as he can up the
horse's you-know-what, pulls him out and slams him on the
ground.

The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing. "Perhapth I
should rephrathe that?" says the midget. "Can I thee her wun
awound a widdle bit?"

[JustRalph]

ok, you are off ignore............ I actually had to click extra to read that and laughed pretty hard.................good one...........

[Tom]

:lol::lol::lol:

[Greyfox]

A trainer was giving last minute instructions to the jockey and appeared to slip something into the horse's mouth just as a steward walked by.
"What was that?" inquired the Steward.
"Oh nothing" said the trainer, "just a jujube".
He offered one to the Steward and had one himself.
After the suspicious Steward had left the scene the trainer continued with his instructions:
"Just keep on the rail. You are on a certainty. The only thing that could possibly pass you down the stretch is either the steward or me".

[Fwizard]

OK I will try a joke but I am sure most have heard it...

A horse gambler is hanging around the paddock when he sees a priest go to a horse's stall and make "the sign of the cross" to the horse...

This horse wins the next race...so the gambler looks around for the priest and again finds him in front of a stall making "the sign of the cross"...the gambler seeing this decides to bet $2 to win on the horse. The horse wins easily and the gambler right away is looking for the priest before the last race.

The priest again is in front of the stall making a lot of hand gestures and praying..the gambler thinks to himself "wow this must be it!!" He goes to every person he knows and borrows as much money as he can bets it all on the horse. During the race the horse goes to the front and all of a sudden has a heart attack and dies.

Upset by the result the gambler finds the priest in the parking lot. He says to him "Father --I am ruined , I lost my money and now owe everyone--what happened. I watched you bless the other horses and they won". The priest turned to him and said " Son, you must not be a Catholic because you can't tell a blessing from "LAST RITES".