Insults With Class and Flair

[Pace Cap'n]

Do you really need to put someone in their place the next time they say your handicapping method can't possibly work, while maintaining grace and dignity?

Then here is the site for you:

www.pangloss.com/seidel/Shaker/index.html? (http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/Shaker/index.html?)

(Shakespearean insults)

Sample:

[Thou] sanguine coward, [thou] bed-presser, [thou] horseback-breaker, [thou] huge hill of flesh!

Taken from: Henry IV, part I

[The Judge]

Now that's funny!

[Tom]

[Thou] rump-fed ronyon! :lol:

[Greyfox]

I'll take Groucho Marx quips for my type of insults:

Examples:

"Are you going to believe me, or what you see with your own eyes?"

"A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five."


"I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up."

" I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it."

" I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. "

More examples are at:
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/g/groucho_marx.html

and

http://quotations.about.com/od/funnymovieandtvquotes/a/grouchomarx1.htm

[DJofSD]

ARTHUR: If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take your castle by force!

GUARD: You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur-king, you and all your silly English kaniggets. Thppppt!

GALAHAD: What a strange person.

ARTHUR: Now look here, my good man!

GUARD: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

GALAHAD: Is there someone else up there we could talk to?

GUARD: No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time-a!