Humor from a horse player

[Dave Schwartz]

I received an email containing the following story, which I find relevant to this forum.



We bought a new Lexus, you know the one that parks itself but had to return it to the dealer the next day because I couldn't get the radio to work.

The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.

'Nelson,' the salesman said to the radio.

The Radio replied, 'Ricky or Willie?'

'Willie!' he continued and 'On the Road Again' came from the speakers.

Then he said, 'Ray Charles!', and in an instant 'Georgia On My Mind' replaced Willie Nelson.

I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I'd say, Soggy Bottom Boys,' I'd get beautiful bluegrass music, and if I said, Beatles,' I'd get one of their awesome songs.

Yesterday, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed my new car, but I swerved in time to avoid them. I yelled, 'Ass Holes!'

Immediately the French National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane Fonda and Barbara Streisand, backed up by Michael Moore and The Dixie Chicks, with John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums, Dan Rather on harmonica, Nancy Pelosi on tambourine, Harry Reid on spoons, Bill Clinton on sax and Ted Kennedy on scotch.

I LOVE this car

[Tom]

Bet that sucker makes RIGHT turns really easy!:lol:

[banacek]

I received an email containing the following story, which I find relevant to this forum.

I'm not sure why it is relevant to PaceAdvantage or why it is called "Humor from a horse player". I usually stay away from off-topic, but I thought it was a horse racing joke.

[Tom]

DAVE is the horse player.

[banacek]

DAVE is the horse player.

So am I, so is everyone on this site. I just thought it was a bit strange. Seemed misleading. Guess I am alone on this one.

[DJofSD]

Three Florida surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed.

One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Florida. In my favorite case, a concert pianist lost seven fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England

The second surgeon said. "That's nothing. A young man lost an arm and both legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in track and field events in the Olympics."

The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a woman was high on cocaine and marijuana and she rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the woman's blond hair and the horse's ass. I was able to put them together and now she's a senator from New York.

[Dave Schwartz]

Perhaps the title was a poor one. It was unintentional. It simply came from another horseplayer.

Sorry - did not mean to bushwhack anyone.


Dave

[DJofSD]

Sorry - did not mean to bushwhack anyone.


That's right -- blame it on the president! ;)

[GaryG]

Perhaps the title was a poor one. It was unintentional. It simply came from another horseplayer.

Sorry - did not mean to bushwhack anyone.


DaveWell, I enjoyed it immensely but when I first saw the title I thought it said "Honor from a horseplayer". That would have really been something...:lol: :lol: :lol:

[Indulto]

So am I, so is everyone on this site. I just thought it was a bit strange. Seemed misleading. Guess I am alone on this one.You're not alone, Polished Pole, but the joke WAS hilarious so it wouldn't surprise me if it had been written by a left-leaning professional joke-writer capable of laughing at himself. Thanks for sharing, DS.

I'd offer a substitute paragraph for non-Lexus owners, but I can't think of any right-reclining musical talent with equal notoriety. ;)

But there's no such shortage of politicians and talking heads worthy of such distinction. Rush on a tuba and Foley on a page come to mind. :D

[JustRalph]

I'd offer a substitute paragraph for non-Lexus owners, but I can't think of any right-reclining musical talent with equal notoriety. ;)

what does that tell you about the music business............
:ThmbDown:

[Indulto]

what does that tell you about the music business............
:ThmbDown:That I don't listen to anything but oldies stations and Air America. :lol:

[toetoe]

While I am an unabashed Schwartzophile, I think the joke is TERRIBLE. Oh, well, that's what makes horse racing. :)

[Snag]

I'm not sure why it is relevant to PaceAdvantage or why it is called "Humor from a horse player". I usually stay away from off-topic, but I thought it was a horse racing joke.

Humor from a horse player and humor are two different things. If it has to be explained.......oh well........never mind

[Greyfox]

That's right -- blame it on the president! ;)

Re: Your blue link read it and weep.

A gambler in debt far too deep
Was needing a way to live cheap,
So he planted by hand
Lots of crops on his land.
Now he just has to weed ‘em and reap.